*snort* "Bernie Thoughts" satire twitter feed

[Recursion]

https://twitter.com/berniethoughts

You have to imagine them in his voice.

IMAGINE AN AMERICA WHERE AMERICAN CHEESE MEANS SMOKED GOUDA


PEACOCKS ARE TURKEYS WHO ANTICIPATED SOMETHING LIKE THANKSGIVING AND CAME UP WITH A GAME PLAN


AT A YOUNG AGE I REALIZED THAT CRAYONS DO NOT TASTE LIKE THEIR COLORS AND THAT MUCH OF LIFE IS DECEPTIVE AND DISAPPOINTING IN THIS WAY


IF CATS COULD SPEAK TO US THEY WOULDN'T


BRUSSELS SPROUTS ARE JUST TINY CABBAGES NO NEED TO GIVE THEM A NAME


CERTAIN PARTS OF THE BODY YOU GET ONE AND OTHER PARTS YOU GET TWO—WHO MAKES THIS DECISION


COFFEE IS HOT BEAN JUICE—I'M NOT MAKING A CRITICISM SO MUCH AS A REMINDER


SOMEONE MAKE ITALY PICK THREE KINDS OF PASTA AND FOCUS

Almost as good as the Onion's Joe Biden.

[PoliticAverse]

1. I imagine them in Larry David's voice. n/t

[Recursion]

2. Yes, even better: this is Larry David's Bernie Sanders (nt)