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Masculinity as Homophobia
Michael Kimmel argues that American men are socialized into a very rigid and limiting definition of masculinity. He states that men fear being ridiculed as too feminine by other men and this fear perpetuates homophobic and exclusionary masculinity. He calls for politics of inclusion or the broadening definition of manhood to end gender struggle.
The great secret af American manhood is: We are afraid of other menHomophobia is a central organizing principle af our cultural definition of manhood. Homophobia is more than the irrational fear af gay men, more than the fear that we might be perceived as gay. "The word 'faggot'' has nothing to do with homosexual experience ar even with fears of homosexuals ," writes David
Leverenz (1986). "It comes out af the depths af manhood: a label af ultimate contempt for anyone who seems sissy, untough, uncool" Homophobia is the fear that other men will unmask us, emasculate us, reveal to us and the world that we do not measure up, that we are not real men. We are afraid to let other men see that fear. Fear makes us ashamed, because the recognition af fear in ourselves is proof to ourselves that we are not as manly as we pretend, that we are, like the young man in a poem by Yeats, "One that ruffles in a manly pose far all his timid heart." Our fear is the fear af humiliation. We are ashamed to be afraid...
The great secret af American manhood is: We are afraid of other menHomophobia is a central organizing principle af our cultural definition of manhood. Homophobia is more than the irrational fear af gay men, more than the fear that we might be perceived as gay. "The word 'faggot'' has nothing to do with homosexual experience ar even with fears of homosexuals ," writes David
Leverenz (1986). "It comes out af the depths af manhood: a label af ultimate contempt for anyone who seems sissy, untough, uncool" Homophobia is the fear that other men will unmask us, emasculate us, reveal to us and the world that we do not measure up, that we are not real men. We are afraid to let other men see that fear. Fear makes us ashamed, because the recognition af fear in ourselves is proof to ourselves that we are not as manly as we pretend, that we are, like the young man in a poem by Yeats, "One that ruffles in a manly pose far all his timid heart." Our fear is the fear af humiliation. We are ashamed to be afraid...
. . '. Manhood is equated with power-over women, over other men. Every- where we look, we see the institutional expression of that power-in state and national legislatures, on the boards of directors of every major U.S. corporation or law firm, and in every school and hospital administration. Women have long understood this, and feminist women have spent the past three decades challenging both the public and the private expressions of men's power and acknowledging their fear of men. Feminism as a set of theories both explains women's fear of men and empowers women to confront it both publicly and privately. Feminist women have theorized that masculinity is about the drIve for domination, the drive for power, for conquest.
This feminist definition of masculinity as the drive for power is theorized from women's point of view. It is how women experience masculinity. But it assumes a symmetry between the public and the private that does not conform to men's experiences. Feminists observe that women, as a group, do not hold power in our society. They also observe that individually, they, as women, do not feel powerful. They feel afraid, vulnerable. Their observation of the social reality and their individual experiences are therefore symmetrical. Feminism also observes that men, as a group, are in power. Thus, with the same symmetry, feminism has tended to assume that individually men must feel powerful.
This is why the feminist critique of masculinity often falls on deaf ears with men. When confronted with the analysis that men have all the power, many men react incredulously. "What do you mean, men have all the power?" they ask. "What are you talking about? My wife bosses me around. My kids boss me around. My boss bosses me around. I have no power at all! I'm completely powerless!"
Men's feelings are not the feelings of the powerful, but of those who see them selves as powerless. These are the feelings that come inevitably from the discontinuity between the social and the psychological, between the aggregate analysis that reveals how men are in power as a group and the psychological fact that they do not feel powerful as individuals. They are the feelings of men who were raised to believe themselves entitled to feel that power, but do not feel it. No wonder many men are frustrated and angry. . . .
Often the purveyors of the mythopoetic men's movement, that broad umbrella that encompasses all the groups helping men to retrieve this mythic deep manhood, use the image of the chauffeur to describe modern man's position. The chauffeur appears to have the power-he's wearing the uniform, he's in the driver's seat, and he knows where he's going. So, to the observer, the chauffeur looks as though he is in command. But to the chauffeur himself, they note, he is merely taking orders. He is not at all in charge
This feminist definition of masculinity as the drive for power is theorized from women's point of view. It is how women experience masculinity. But it assumes a symmetry between the public and the private that does not conform to men's experiences. Feminists observe that women, as a group, do not hold power in our society. They also observe that individually, they, as women, do not feel powerful. They feel afraid, vulnerable. Their observation of the social reality and their individual experiences are therefore symmetrical. Feminism also observes that men, as a group, are in power. Thus, with the same symmetry, feminism has tended to assume that individually men must feel powerful.
This is why the feminist critique of masculinity often falls on deaf ears with men. When confronted with the analysis that men have all the power, many men react incredulously. "What do you mean, men have all the power?" they ask. "What are you talking about? My wife bosses me around. My kids boss me around. My boss bosses me around. I have no power at all! I'm completely powerless!"
Men's feelings are not the feelings of the powerful, but of those who see them selves as powerless. These are the feelings that come inevitably from the discontinuity between the social and the psychological, between the aggregate analysis that reveals how men are in power as a group and the psychological fact that they do not feel powerful as individuals. They are the feelings of men who were raised to believe themselves entitled to feel that power, but do not feel it. No wonder many men are frustrated and angry. . . .
Often the purveyors of the mythopoetic men's movement, that broad umbrella that encompasses all the groups helping men to retrieve this mythic deep manhood, use the image of the chauffeur to describe modern man's position. The chauffeur appears to have the power-he's wearing the uniform, he's in the driver's seat, and he knows where he's going. So, to the observer, the chauffeur looks as though he is in command. But to the chauffeur himself, they note, he is merely taking orders. He is not at all in charge
I'm posting this because I found it interesting. Kimmel does not agree with all of feminist thought on masculinity, which is fine--neither do feminists. I also don't agree with his definition of what homophobia actually is; disagree quite strongly in fact, although makes good points on what we consider masculinity.
it's an older article but worthy of discussion or argument.
http://faculty.ucc.edu/psysoc-stokes/Masculinity.pdf
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who were gay who died during those years.
I hate homophobes with a passion.
The OP is really interesting and is the kind of stuff I think about quite a bit.
Have to check out the link and think some more. Later. I am really burned out on gender stuff right now. Being nongendered.... I just don't get it. I try, and it is all such a mystery to me.
Who cares what parts you have when you're naked? 
It all just seems nutty to me. I know other people really care and are very strongly identified with their gender and I am not disparaging them. I just don't get why all this stuff causes such human distress.
*sigh* I feel like another species sometimes.
