How to Talk to Little Girls

[mercuryblues]

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What’s missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That’s why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

“Maya,” I said, crouching down at her level, looking into her eyes, “very nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” she said, in that trained, polite, talking-to-adults good girl voice.

“Hey, what are you reading?” I asked, a twinkle in my eyes. I love books. I’m nuts for them. I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger.


http://latinafatale.com/2011/07/21/how-to-talk-to-little-girls/

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. I would think both genders should be talked with on eye level.

it is good for adults to see things from a child's perspective and what better way than to reach out to them on their eye level.

Adults have forgotten how things look from that angle.

thanks for posting

[niyad]

2. you do realize this was about more than just meeting the child at eye level, yes?

did you read the whole article? very interesting indeed.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. I realize.

Do you understand how condescending you sound just now ...

[mercuryblues]

3. Yes it is

It is one thing I have done with my kids and their friends. If you ever really want to see what a child sees, lay on the floor and look, really look and listen to things from that level. Kids are sponges and absorb everything they see and hear. I have 1 daughter and 3 sons, I have seen people tell my daughter how pretty she is by adults 1st thing, then turn to the boys and ask them a question about themselves. Dismissive.


I hate baby talk, I cringe when I hear an adult talk to a toddler "you wanna drink of wawa?" Or an adult male still being called Jimmy instead of Jim or James. It is part of my job as a parent to grow my kids up, not keep them babies forever.

[Tien1985]

5. I don't think

Nicknames are necessarily baby talk. Often, it's just what someone prefers to be called.

I do get the "do you want a drunk of wawa" thing, especially when it's done to be showy in front of other adults.

But from experience, I'm an adult make with a nickname that ends in "y". Sure, I interview with my full name, but that's formal. I don't consider my name to be holding me back, or babyish. I would totally understand if someone didn't LIKE being called by a name, but the same can be said of calling someone Jim/James if they prefer Jimmy

[mercuryblues]

6. Its just a pet peeve of mine.

[ismnotwasm]

7. I love this

Since I now have 2 granddaughters (in addition to 3 grandsons) ALL of them are getting gender neutral discussion from me, but granddaughters are a new experience for me.

[mercuryblues]

8. It is.

My daughter did not take kindly to aren't you pretty and her brothers being asked about school and stuff. I love her grandparents. Don't you look as cute as ever, now let's get to the important stuff...how are your grades? They did the same for the boys.
I don't think it is so much as you should never let the kids know they look good, as much as letting them know their looks are secondary to grades, responsibilities, activities they are involved in and the friends they choose. That is also how you get to know them as a person. Even when they are only 6 years old.

[BainsBane]

9. I try to keep this in mind

but I also think there is an issue with girls to be taught they aren't attractive enough compared to media images.

[Dash87]

10. We also don't teach how fake media images are.

The over abundant use of photoshop to morph women into pictures that look nothing like the originals.

Then there's the practice of caking on makeup for public celebrity appearances - if you ever stop for a moment and see how much makeup celebrities wear on the red carpet - it's an insane amount done by the most talented makeup artists in the world.

It's an impossible image. Nobody will ever look like that unless they have money to hire Taylor Swift's makeup artist.

Obsession with looks is pretty poisonous anyways. We don't value intelligence or real artistic talent enough in this world.