a thread on revenge porn

[seabeyond]

i really find this totally fascinating. your thoughts? as intrigued as i am? i think such a clear example how this all effects so much of our life. from the more innocent yet still harmful, to the .... flat out wrong.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023765988#post14

this is in a thread where men feel they have the right to humiliate a woman to make the men feel better. one way or another, it is a woman and her sexuality as irrelevant, for the male and his all consuming, awesome, sexuality.

i meet a poster first on a thread about a preg woman ordering a glass of wine. he has an absolute position of deying the woman a glass cause she is preg. regardless of what studies, reasons, rights or doctor says, the man has clearer judgment to deny this woman the ability to drink a single glass of wine.

going into the thread about revenge porn, i meet up again. to hear him tell how all the boys are doing this at university. he at least attempts to tell the boys this is not right. good for him

only to walk into a subthread of three men dissing their wife and their sexuality with the same old tired jokes.

i see such a connect. i want to now say, is this man telling those boys to get it all they can now, cause once a man marries he never gets it anymore? cause that is a funny. a joke. lighten up. regardless of reality, to dismiss the womans sexuality to pump up the mans chest is always ok.

the thread progresses.

there are just too many things to be said about this. too too many. how it all connects that it is all about the man feeling good about himself and the woman is the side kick to build the man up. why.... would our boys think it is ok to put a girls picture on the net, knowing full well it is hurtful? cause it does not fuckin matter. our society as a whole repeatedly tell them this. and our men tell the women to lighten up.

lighten up my fucking ass.

am i off?

[LiberalLoner]

1. No. It is all connected, you are right.

Personally I have stopped caring. It's not my fight anymore. I am going to hole up in my corner and live out the last 1/4 of my life. Feels too much like sweeping back the ocean and I don't have the energy anymore.

But bless those of you still fighting the good fight.

[seabeyond]

2. lol lol

though it does not appear so, in RL i am so much with you and it is a hugely good thing.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. I am right there with you. Sweeping bach the ocean ... especially when our own gender betrays us

either due to their own ignorance or else because of their own twisted self esteem issues.

sea, one thing about that wine thread ...

was he wrong to deny her a glass of wine? ... yes.

was it within his rights to do so? ... yes.

Funny thing, to me, was it happened in England (Europe) where I thought it was standard procedure
to start imbibing from conception on throughout life.

Now I am off to read your link above ... kinda hope I do not feel compelled to comment. haha

[seabeyond]

8. adn if i were the employer and i explained how a glass was ok, serve the woman and he said no.

that he did not think a preg woman should drink and he would not serve preg woman, i would fire him. he would be no different for me than the pharmacists that deny pill and morning after cause of religious beliefs.

adn i hear ya on not wanting to comment on other thread. i am done with it too.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. that thread ... so much Stupid on it. and noticing how many of those posters are Lounge regulars ...

and how their wives "feed" into the myth of it all. Society, as a whole, as been conditioned so it is hard for me to blame that Older Generation either male or female. But there were some good comments in there too and, by men that I already respect for other reasons. Funny how they continue to stay true to themselves and the ones that I already have a low opinion of, further reinforced it. While the ones that I already have a high opinion further reinforced that.

I am staying out of that thread. The ED thing ... too easy.

and Yes, I understand what you are saying about the woman in the tavern ... and equating it to the Pharmacists, there again, unfortunately people have the right to be wrong in there own place of business.

Funny thing I have noticed about Pharmacists vs. Doctors, as a whole, I have found Ps to be much more conservative than Ds.

These videos are probably Not PC and you may have to be medical to see the humor but, I find them hilarious and co-workers are constantly sending them to others so we can all laugh about the state of affairs in the industry:

[Squinch]

10. I think this has a lot to do with why the marraige rate is so low and still dropping.

Who needs it?

I prefer serial, non-marital monogamy in which no one ever expects me to pick up and launder his socks.

[duffyduff]

3. What really gets me is the position by the ACLU

This is NOT "free speech"--this is about invasion of privacy.

The organization has really dropped the ball on this one.

[seabeyond]

4. i find they often do, what generally does not win out. but, when positioning anything as free speech

they will run roughshod over individual rights in all directions. kinda like the peta in the world. but, when it is right, they do good. that is what makes them not liked, by both sides. they have their value.

[hlthe2b]

6. ACLU has a line in the sand with respect to free speech... I (obviously) do not agree with this

position, but I can appreciate what is behind it--just as they sometimes have to intervene on behalf of hate groups and their "rights"...

Some want to lump this kind of ACLU stance with the refusal to compromise on the second amendment by NRA and other groups... I call BS on that, given these gun proponents are actually gun $$$ promoters and it is unquestionably the money driving their extreme positions. ACLU, by contrast is driven by principle.

I'd rather they didn't take this particular position and strongly believe they will no prevail on this, but I can still understand it.

[duffyduff]

11. The NRA's stand is bogus because they weren't always against gun control

The ACLU is just not thinking stuff through when it comes to the issue of pornography.

In this case it is clearly privacy and the violation of it when porn is posted on the internet without a party's permission, and that is at least on par with what they interpret as the First Amendment. The problem with ACLU's position is it has had an influence that is not good with regard to porn, and the industry has been pushing the boundaries more and more and more.

"Freedom of speech" is not an absolute. Never was, never has been, and definitely not when other rights are being stepped on.

[BainsBane]

5. Those men reveal a great deal about themselves

When they say such things. Sea's remark about needing a man who can take care of them is spot on. I made a similar comment.

[redqueen]

12. Weird. I don't see anyone in that thread claiming that existing laws are sufficient.

Anyway, yeah, about the jokes, it's just sad - sad that people find such stale material amusing.

I wonder if, as that one guy said, they'd make such jokes around their wives. I'm sure some women would be fine with it... but I wonder.

It all makes me think about how puzzling it is to me that women bother getting married to or living with men at all. When you consider that even in the countries where men and women are the closest to being actually equal (the Nordic countries, natch), women are still saddled with the larger share of unpaid labor. Add in kids and it only gets worse.

[seabeyond]

13. you know, if they are so much ball and chains and men get no sex, ya.... why do they keep asking.

i had to edit part. didnt think it would fly

[BainsBane]

14. Whiners

Haz a sad and is now stalking me via PM.

[seabeyond]

15. someone

stalking you thru pm? i never get stalker and not thru pm. actually i think i had one but i thought it more a hoot than fear based. though others thought danger'ish. i miss him. he has not been on the board for a while. really easy to argue with. he got so flustered. lol

who

pm me

[ismnotwasm]

16. The stupid is strong in that thread

I note no mention of erectile dysfunction and Viagra in the gentlemen who say they are older and wives sex drives as less at menopause. There is also no mention that sometimes once the fear of pregnancy is over, post-menopausal women's sex drive increases--just in time to run into EDD. I also notice no mention of the aging males drop in testosterone, which ALSO leads to less interest in sex. Gotta keep up appearances, apparently. (Damn I'm glad I have a decent knowledge of anatomy.)

Or, much addressing of the actual topic of the OP.

[seabeyond]

17. so fuckin right on woman. exactly. geeesh. thanks. i did mention lets have an ED giggle

sub thread. no one wanted to participate.

[BainsBane]

18. I did my part

to deflate some of the stupid.

[BainsBane]

19. Apparently we're joke impaired

Thought I'd put that to the test.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=3770662

[ismnotwasm]

20. The difference being you told an actual joke

And these guys are talking about their wives. If women started complaining about poor erections, lack of orgasm consideration or ability from their partner or premature ejaculation with the Joie de vivre this guys use when talking about their wives, as a reason for lack of interest in sex; the tone would change very quickly.

[BainsBane]

21. Someone could still

have my post hidden for sexism, which would be incredibly ironic but par for the course. Yes, I think there is a big difference between telling a joke and complaining about one's partner. The latter is disrespectful if nothing else.

[LanternWaste]

22. Neil Simon once wrote something to the effect that "the vast majority of humanity's humor is based o

Neil Simon (one of my favorite play-writes by the way) once wrote something to the effect that "the vast majority of humanity's humor is based on either what we don't understand, or what we fear... or both".

Since reading that, I've filtered most of the humor I've come across through that lens (pretty much daily), and when I hear a co-worker crack a joke at his wife's expense, or a DUer do the same, I wind up asking myself: Is he afraid or her, or does he simply not understand her?

I'd bet a paycheck it's the latter. I'd bet a second paycheck that those guys joking about their wives and responding that their wives are cool with it, are simply being much less honest (with us, or more likely, with themselves) than they could be.

Let's not pretend that any male on DU who habitually counters the obvious is guilty simply through ignorance... there is too much information, too many facts, and far too many objective sources, all easily available to believe that "those poor, benighted souls" are simply ignorant of the readily available... no, they are aware, and simply reject it as an inconvenience to their out-dated, one-sided and tired world-views.

World-views which were quite popular in the infancy of humanity, but which, like racism, are quickly becoming little more than dark footnotes to be read by academicians in another hundred years. World-views which are held onto furiously be those lacking understanding, and fill that lack with a fear illustrated through their humor.