“Nice Guys” Contribute to Rape Culture

[redqueen]

http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/07/17/nice-guys-contribute-to-rape-culture/

...

Are men going to run out and rape women, having listened to Tosh? Probably not. But those who do rape are let off the hook by a culture that treats rape as a joke. Rape culture allows those who do rape to escape arrest, prosecution, jail time and social sanction.

Actually, men accused of rape and abuse are often vigorously defended. “He was the coach of the team–he was a pillar of the community” too often dominates media coverage of sexual and domestic violence. As if “pillars of the community” don’t rape and abuse.

...

The stereotype of men who perpetuate and benefit from rape culture hurts victims, too. Joe Paterno did not report Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse, yet media coverage often focused on Paterno’s “legacy” and his coaching accomplishments. Daniel Tosh told jokes that trivialize rape, yet his defenders focus on him being “one of the nicest people in the world.” (Although the media tide is turning, particularly on Paterno).

...

Once the “nice guy” defense is eliminated, we can look at how all men are socialized in a culture of sexism. Jay Smooth and other anti-racist activists have already urged us to look at someone’s racist behavior, instead of focusing on “is someone a racist” or not. The conversation should be about the behavior, not the person.

...

[Nikia]

1. I think that many victims, especially children, don't come forward because of this

In that they fear that no one will believe them or that they will be blamed for "tempting" a "good man". Many perpetrators purposely pick victims with low self esteem who will believe that their victimization is less important than maintaining the reputation of a someone who appears to be a good man.

[redqueen]

2. Thanks for saying "appears to be" a good man.

There have been way too many instances of "good men" supporting rape culture, let alone actually raping.

Oh, sorry, I meant "trying to become (his victim's) fantasy".