General Discussion

meadowlander

(4,413 posts)

199. Oh, well if it's been going around the internet, then I guess we have to engage with it seriously.

Wed May 8, 2024, 05:47 AM

May 8

There is no actual situation where you are walking in the woods and get to pick what you encounter. Therefore, it's an absurd hypothetical.

If you are using it to illustrate a wider point that women shouldn't feel afraid because it is statistically unlikely that any given man they encounter will attack them, I'd say a number of people have already answered that for you and so have I above.

It only takes one.

There is no way to know if the stranger in front of you is that one.

It is not a statistically insignificant chance that it is (unlike being mauled by a bear).

Women should not hesitate to act accordingly or be made to feel like they are overreacting, being hysterical or being inherently unfair to the "nice" guys.

Don't like it? Well I guess life sucks for you then. I don't like having to look over my shoulder instead of enjoying a nice walk in the woods but there we are. Don't blame me. Blame the flasher that was arrested a few weeks ago at my favorite beach and the rapist arrested a few months ago terrorising the girls at the local college by breaking into their apartments and molesting them in their sleep and the guy who raped and killed a real estate agent a month or two before that and the guy that tried to grab an 11 year old walking home from school a few weeks before that.

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Highlight:

Of bears and men: How big does a risk have to be before you "have to" walk around scared? [View all] Silent3 May 7 OP

In a word leftieNanner May 7 #1

If you were a woman you'd know the answer. Ocelot II May 7 #2

Don't forget that even cloistered nuns interact with a priest in a confessional. wnylib May 7 #109

And worst of all? NanaCat May 8 #202

I wouldn't say I walk around scared, I walk around prepared. LNM May 7 #3

There's no animosity here, just wondering how much women are self-terrifying themselves... Silent3 May 7 #10

This kind of feels like the definition of "mansplaining". Crunchy Frog May 7 #23

Yes, it does and you're right, we don't care. Brenda May 8 #214

+1 betsuni May 8 #221

Deliberate obtuseness is not attractive Hekate May 7 #28

Please, spell out what I'm being obtuse about Silent3 May 7 #32

I'd dare say most women Sparkly May 7 #39

You need to work on your empathy wryter2000 May 7 #42

So, you do request performative empathy? Silent3 May 7 #49

"On average, there are 463,634 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States." viva la May 7 #94

This message was self-deleted by its author raccoon May 8 #192

What do you know about "real world risks" for women? wnylib May 7 #120

Risk, in the statistical sense, has nothing to do with personal experience Silent3 May 7 #123

Statistics also fall short of reality. If you don't know that yet, it's time you learned. wnylib May 8 #170

+1 betsuni May 8 #178

Co-sign! Dorian Gray May 8 #195

Well said mcar May 8 #245

I remember when a man-friend explained to me that menstrual cramps came from being anxious--- viva la May 7 #126

You have a whole thread of women Dorian Gray May 8 #194

No, we expect you to, you know... NanaCat May 8 #207

Dude. As a man, I suggest you stop. Risk is 1:1 for women who are victimized. Caliman73 May 8 #286

What makes you think MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #290

You are mansplaining, not being "empathetic. " As you're a DUer since the beginning, I expect more of you. Hekate May 7 #62

I'm bringing up a tricky topic that I know a lot of people would steer clear of, not "mansplaining" Silent3 May 7 #66

Or you could, you know, just not say anything about Crunchy Frog May 7 #124

Why should one feel so afraid to discuss such things? Silent3 May 7 #138

Why don't you make a new post about how black men should stop exaggerating the risks Crunchy Frog May 7 #148

If a black man were choosing, say, being in a locked room with a hungry lion rather than an average cop... Silent3 May 8 #174

You never said anything in your previous posts about being locked in a room with a hungry bear or lion. Crunchy Frog May 8 #220

Perfect idea. And you know what? ... Hekate May 8 #302

I've always respected this poster in the past. Crunchy Frog May 8 #305

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE NanaCat May 8 #209

3% can't do that Sucha NastyWoman May 8 #222

Nobody was asking for any kind of empathy from you Dorian Gray May 8 #197

If all you can offer when women tell you how bloody-minded NanaCat May 8 #208

See my post #111. wnylib May 7 #114

It's mansplaining NanaCat May 8 #204

+1 betsuni May 8 #211

Thanks for the mansplaining. NanaCat May 8 #206

Thank you for your concern. viva la May 7 #92

Who said anything that has anything to do with this reply of yours? Silent3 May 7 #96

Oh, never mind. viva la May 7 #98

The fact that women who have no experience with actual bears MontanaMama May 7 #105

Actual bears can usually be scared off. When hiking in Glacier Park a few years ago Ocelot II May 8 #264

Absolutely. MontanaMama May 8 #280

If you're not female, your real world risks are not the same as a woman's real world experiences wnylib May 7 #111

Experiences obviously change feelings of fear Silent3 May 7 #116

Wow. Talk about clueless. You mention one dog attack making wnylib May 8 #168

Take this all back to the man/bear thing, and risk assessment Silent3 May 8 #169

Why Dorian Gray May 8 #198

I wonder about the obsession with bears. Mythology about women marrying bears? betsuni May 8 #215

I think he's having an emotional response to an online meme Dorian Gray May 8 #219

Could also be a bear-envy thing. betsuni May 8 #232

I heard they're really hung MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #291

There was a bestseller in the 70s about a woman moving out to the woods and having an affair with a bear AZSkiffyGeek May 8 #308

Will you shut up? NanaCat May 8 #210

"THE MAN/BEAR THING." betsuni May 8 #212

Why wouldn't you possible be frightened in either scenario? robbob May 8 #253

Thank you, wnylib!! TSExile May 8 #244

I'm so sorry for your experience and the effect that it has had on you. wnylib May 8 #318

wnylib, you speak for so many of us. Diamond_Dog May 8 #314

I speak from my own experience, but I know wnylib May 8 #317

What are you doing? bcbink May 8 #233

The number of sexual assaults MontanaMama May 8 #281

It's called Woman's Intuition. Happyone May 10 #329

At 12 years old Dorian Gray May 8 #193

But ... but ... but ... STATISTICS AND BEARS! We're not only getting worked up about nothing, we're stupid too! betsuni May 8 #205

I never experienced an assault myself at that age, but Crunchy Frog May 8 #306

Men are afraid women will laugh at them. 3catwoman3 May 7 #4

I'm trying to compare real risk vs. what people fear, whatever the odds might be. Silent3 May 7 #13

Real risk wryter2000 May 7 #37

I'm specifically refering to "stranger danger" Silent3 May 7 #44

Then, there's your problem wryter2000 May 7 #59

That's not my problem. That's my POINT. Silent3 May 7 #71

LADIES! How many have been groped, assaulted, fondled, chased, by a stranger? viva la May 7 #129

How many bears have you run into in real life? Silent3 May 7 #136

As a matter of fact, I have encountered a couple grizzlies-- viva la May 7 #143

Standing, what, ten feet way from you? Silent3 May 7 #145

I'm not sure what you are getting at? viva la May 7 #149

For the actually risk assessment... Silent3 May 8 #153

Okay, for the lulz, let me point out that we don't usually let bears on the subway. viva la May 8 #158

The internet man/bear discussion is all about Silent3 May 8 #161

I spent every day of ages 10-mid-50s NanaCat May 8 #223

+1 betsuni May 8 #226

20% of sexual assaults are at the hands of a stranger. Scrivener7 May 7 #65

While a young lady in college Texasgal May 8 #321

And "being killed" is not the only risk. viva la May 7 #100

Women are routinely harassed, raped, and/or killed. What do you want? Prurient details? Hm? Hekate May 7 #47

You're off on your own agenda... Silent3 May 8 #166

That's what I'm suspecting. MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #293

Further down I do ask... Hekate May 8 #296

How about statistics on domestic abuse, rape or other sexual spooky3 May 7 #48

Those are thing things I contrasted to "stranger danger" as more truly risky Silent3 May 7 #51

When are you going to "get it" that this question is not literally spooky3 May 7 #58

My OP clearly makes in plain I'm talking about the "degree to which women reasonably feel unsafe" Silent3 May 7 #106

What makes you think you know anything about the degree to which women feel unsafe? Scrivener7 May 7 #131

And overcoming a confrontational, hostile approach to this discussion... Silent3 May 7 #134

So you've heard women talk about feeling unsafe and you figured you'd school all of us about Scrivener7 May 7 #137

My OP isn't "schooling" anyone about anything Silent3 May 7 #139

Yep. You're right. I do have you pegged. Scrivener7 May 7 #142

So, what's the point of discussing anything with someone who takes that attitude? Silent3 May 8 #156

I'm guessing you don't see the irony in your post. Scrivener7 May 8 #157

Likewise, I'm sure. n/t Silent3 May 8 #159

We are not talking about men being killed by men. MontanaMama May 7 #108

Common denominator in your post? North Shore Chicago May 8 #196

You might want to just stop with this thread and just fucking listen. Cuthbert Allgood May 8 #265

I'll listen to responses which address what I actually said... Silent3 May 8 #267

OK, here's another clue for you. Cuthbert Allgood May 8 #270

Nope Silent3 May 8 #273

I knew some people enjoyed the taste of sand Dorian Gray May 8 #275

You said that women are walking around with unnecessary fear Dorian Gray May 8 #274

While the majority of homicide victims are men killed by strangers, MontanaMama May 8 #283

SO. WHAT. MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #292

Years ago, when I worked nights... TSExile May 7 #5

There's certainly nothing wrong with being prepared Silent3 May 7 #15

What level of fear is acceptable to you? And where are you seeing Scrivener7 May 7 #19

It has nothing to do with what's acceptible to me Silent3 May 7 #26

So this is you "talking us down?" Seriously dude, I think you don't understand just Scrivener7 May 7 #35

There's not a single thing I said against talking precautions Silent3 May 7 #107

The things on which you have based this whole discussion on, the man vs. bear discussion and the Scrivener7 May 7 #115

"You are the one who made the irrational assumption that women's use of precautions amount to a 'self-torment'" Silent3 May 7 #118

Nope. It's not. It's you making the irrational assumption that the precautions women take Scrivener7 May 7 #122

Nope, you're adding a layer of meaning that isn't there. Silent3 May 7 #127

Nope. I'm not. The man vs. bear discussion is about choosing a lesser danger. The Scrivener7 May 7 #130

Outsized fears? TSExile May 7 #25

But isn't that like suffering PTSD? Silent3 May 7 #30

But MANY of us have experienced that and/or other violence from men. Sparkly May 7 #45

No, it's not. She reasonably is concerned that spooky3 May 7 #53

What about my position is "indefensible"? Silent3 May 7 #63

Do you understand that this is a cruel and disgusting comment to make to a victim Scrivener7 May 7 #55

They do not understand MontanaMama May 7 #112

What bothers me most is that I think he DOES fully understand. Scrivener7 May 7 #117

Indeed. MontanaMama May 7 #135

You're exaggerating the fear Dorian Gray May 8 #200

Back during the gender wars on DU, some women said they assume Scrivener7 May 7 #6

Heck, Laz said he'd prefer to meet a bear than a lone man in the woods. haele May 7 #64

I'd rather face the bear NanaCat May 8 #225

Previous to this thread, I was one of the few who said the man, but now I want to make a caveat: not the OP. Scrivener7 May 8 #254

hah! Dorian Gray May 8 #276

What percent of women have been assaulted by a man at some point in their life? RockRaven May 7 #7

Yes, but we're not allowed to "get all worked up about it." Scrivener7 May 7 #8

The question is assault out of the blue in the kind of situation the bear/man thing is about. n/t Silent3 May 7 #14

And how many women have been assaulted by a bear NanaCat May 8 #227

When asked, a good number of men choose the bear, too. -nt CrispyQ May 7 #9

Besides... TSExile May 7 #11

I have never actually done any of those things. PoindexterOglethorpe May 7 #12

Thank you for being one of the few women who doesn't see my post itself as an attack Silent3 May 7 #17

I haven't seen anyone demonizing men, but the risks are absolutely real. Crunchy Frog May 7 #16

I don't think either of us has real stats here... no sure where I'd even look for them Silent3 May 7 #21

I honestly just don't care what your opinion is on this subject. Crunchy Frog May 7 #27

Oh, but he's "talking us down" from our irrational "self-torment" doncha know? Scrivener7 May 7 #61

Oh, you know how we wimmenfolk get... Sky Jewels May 8 #181

Men just don't know the fear because they feel reasonably safe everywhere they go. Diamond_Dog May 7 #18

And let's just realize that someone who thinks this way on a jury-- or a judge at the trial viva la May 7 #103

All it takes is that one time being there in that place, that time when the opportunity presents itself to a predator. betsuni May 8 #155

To help you understand- MOMFUDSKI May 7 #20

But I also have to imagine how likely it is that a foot-taller man is going to grab me Silent3 May 7 #22

You do not understand the social construct of gender Sparkly May 7 #50

I'm a little confused. Sparkly May 7 #24

The question going around the internet is about meeting a bear vs. meeting a man while alone in the woods Silent3 May 7 #38

You do know that? Sparkly May 7 #52

It's in the stats Silent3 May 7 #56

Please explain? Sparkly May 7 #69

Someone else said 20% for self-reported Silent3 May 7 #73

Perhaps you could share a link to these stats? Sparkly May 7 #75

Here's on thing I just re-found Silent3 May 7 #78

This says 93% of JUVENILE victims knew the perps. Sparkly May 7 #83

I'm not sure where you're coming from Silent3 May 7 #87

Oh Kay. Sparkly May 7 #95

Don't bother with the sexist mansplainer NanaCat May 8 #228

Women have been murdered in parks mainer May 7 #29

Men have been murdered in parks too, but don't live in great fear of it Silent3 May 7 #34

Is there a certain level of assault by strangers in one's home, on a campus, and/or in a public place Sparkly May 7 #57

Of course there isn't NanaCat May 8 #229

This quote lets me know that you need help JanMichael May 7 #31

Oh, I knew I'd come across as tone-deaf to many Silent3 May 7 #33

Did you take precautions during COVID? If so, why did you do that? Scrivener7 May 7 #41

Congratulations then. The real world "truth" is that men attack women. JanMichael May 7 #60

I came here for an argument wryter2000 May 7 #68

A man who sneers at women's reaction viva la May 8 #251

It's a woman thing GenThePerservering May 7 #36

The statistics I've seen say that one in five women will be raped at some point in their lives. thucythucy May 7 #40

And 45% will experience sexual assault of some kind other than rape. Scrivener7 May 7 #43

Another stat that I read said 20 percent of MOMFUDSKI May 7 #54

Not strangers Daylily May 7 #46

Next stop for this train is GenThePerservering May 7 #67

There's no "lighten up" message here Silent3 May 7 #76

I would suggest you go no further GenThePerservering May 7 #77

This is where DU group-think gets to me Silent3 May 7 #81

Again, I will ask you: Did you take precautions against Covid before we Scrivener7 May 7 #82

Wow, you're impatient about that question. Silent3 May 7 #89

In case you are sincere... Sparkly May 7 #88

Yes, "free range parenting" is exactly the kind of analogy that fits the kind of point I'm trying to make n/t Silent3 May 7 #91

Hey, Mr. MRA. Brenda May 8 #224

He's actually thinking we're all... hysterical, I guess? viva la May 7 #133

I like pancakes Silent3 May 7 #144

You obviously get a kick out of trolling women. viva la May 7 #146

No, I do get a kick out of trolling people who... Silent3 May 7 #150

Enough. You haven't listened to any of us. You don't care. viva la May 7 #152

No, I dismiss most of what YOU say Silent3 May 8 #154

You know, it's almost hilarious how absolutely .... on point you are. viva la May 8 #162

No, I'm just mildly annoyed by a predictable type of response Silent3 May 8 #164

You are so viva la May 8 #171

LOL! The level of your projection is hilarious. Again, I'm going to guess you don't see the irony in this. Scrivener7 May 8 #213

Deleted viva la May 8 #249

Viva, check that post again. It's me replying to the mansplainer, not to you. Scrivener7 May 8 #250

Oh, okay. viva la May 8 #252

Poor dear. Scrivener7 May 7 #151

we are maladaptive. bcbink May 8 #236

I don't know. We might be past that. We've already been told that he is just Scrivener7 May 7 #80

Women are prey animals mainer May 7 #70

Interesting discussion. 1WorldHope May 7 #72

I see you are assiduously avoiding my question about whether you took Scrivener7 May 7 #74

Not assiduously avoiding, just took that as a rhetorical question, plus having a lot of posts to respond to Silent3 May 7 #85

So you did take precautions against encountering people who could do damage to you. Scrivener7 May 7 #90

See this post, "There's certainly nothing wrong with being prepared" Silent3 May 7 #93

Oh, gracious! We're allowed to be prepared! That's so good of you! Scrivener7 May 7 #104

In 2020 in Texas BigMin28 May 7 #79

"but jeez! Men aren't that dangerous!" Oh, really? viva la May 7 #84

Where do you get "Men aren't that dangerous!" out of the OP? Silent3 May 7 #101

Please go back and read the end of the original post. viva la May 7 #110

Women don't "walk around scared"- we are aware of our surroundings and potential predators at every moment ms liberty May 7 #86

I never said anything about or against simple preparedness Silent3 May 7 #99

No, it's not about walking around scared. Talk about missing the point! ms liberty May 7 #119

I'm not sure the stats exist to prove which is riskier, however Silent3 May 7 #132

I think you've mansplained enough. If you're still this clueless now, you're never gonna get it. ms liberty May 8 #235

I have done all those things, and I'm a guy. Only a few times, but I have done them. My wife has too, and says her Doodley May 7 #97

Assault by a male will happen to lone women more often - haele May 7 #102

You're describing it wrong. Imagine a jogger running with a dog stick ecstatic May 7 #113

My post has nothing to do with mere precautions Silent3 May 7 #121

The fear does not kick in until we're confronted with the threat. Not before. ecstatic May 7 #125

I'm not sure what you mean by "confronted with the threat" Silent3 May 7 #128

This might be a women are from Venus ecstatic May 8 #203

Means women are emotional and stupid and "demonize men" for no reason, men are rational and think about STATISTICS. betsuni May 8 #217

Men teach us to be wary from an early age. nolabear May 7 #140

I hope it isn't mansplaining ... Straw Man May 7 #141

Oops! Meant to type black bear Silent3 May 7 #147

You "don't want to seem callous"??? Then why did you post that niyad May 8 #160

Nope, no deletion. I usually avoid such topics... Silent3 May 8 #163

Sadly, I am not in the least surprised. Contrary to your last line, niyad May 8 #165

So PoindexterOglethorpe didn't get it, like you do, when she replied to me? Silent3 May 8 #167

You clearly don't care. MontanaMama May 8 #172

No, I really don't care... Silent3 May 8 #173

And yet here you are. MontanaMama May 8 #287

You can't even parse what I said I don't care about correctly. Silent3 May 8 #289

It's not snark. MontanaMama May 8 #294

... betsuni May 9 #324

One woman agreed with you. DOZENS of women and men disagreed with you. Scrivener7 May 8 #242

Why would anyone get defensive about women's experiences? Women "get all worked up about" "demonizing men"? betsuni May 8 #175

Who got defensive or worked up? Silent3 May 8 #176

... betsuni May 8 #177

Yep, now we come to the meat of the matter mcar May 8 #247

I know several women who have been raped by males. Sky Jewels May 8 #179

The sad reality is that men and women inhabit the same spaces very differently. Jedi Guy May 8 #180

Thank you. "resting axe murderer face" LOL! betsuni May 8 #190

Yeah, a friend of mine coined the "resting axe murderer face" a while back. Jedi Guy May 8 #237

+1000! mcar May 8 #248

Chance of being injured by a bear is 1 in 2.1 million. Chance of a woman being sexually assaulted is 1 in 4. meadowlander May 8 #182

The bear/man choice is about a single situation in which you will encounter one or the other Silent3 May 8 #183

Most bears won't automatically attack you either. meadowlander May 8 #184

The "absurd hypothetical" isn't my absurd hypothetical. It's been making the rounds of the internet. Silent3 May 8 #186

Oh, well if it's been going around the internet, then I guess we have to engage with it seriously. meadowlander May 8 #199

Absolutely! Argument reponere Meme is enshrined in most Citical Thought text books (3rd editions and up) Torchlight May 8 #322

#NotAllBear/Mans betsuni May 8 #185

I was fully aware some people wouldn't be able to resist applying that lens Silent3 May 8 #187

"lens" betsuni May 8 #188

Do you require help with the metaphor? Silent3 May 8 #189

... betsuni May 8 #191

That wasn't in your OP or in your 1st scores of reply posts. Crunchy Frog May 8 #218

Chance of being sexually assaulted by a bear is also far less than that of being mauled by a man. PeaceWave May 8 #297

TBF NanaCat May 8 #201

This reads like a man wrote it. tazkcmo May 8 #216

Well, you have a brain and are capable of empathy NanaCat May 8 #231

It's the bear because women are telling you it's the bear. A_Woman_from_MI May 8 #230

That vid is excellent. Thanks. spooky3 May 8 #238

Don't know who this guy is but that is excellent. Brenda May 8 #239

I had to go back to watch it again Easterncedar May 10 #325

Does a deer walk around scared? How about a mountain lion? mainer May 8 #234

The first rule of holes... Patton French May 8 #240

Unfortunately, there are those who ignore that important advice. TSExile May 8 #241

Yes, men are that dangerous. ismnotwasm May 8 #243

Risk is in the eye of the beholder mcar May 8 #246

Feeling of risk is in the eye of the beholder, yes. Silent3 May 8 #255

Being in an airplane or car crash or a fire is horrible, but it's death. Being raped or murdered is torture betsuni May 8 #257

And that had to do with accuracy of risk assessment how? Silent3 May 8 #258

STATISTICALLY what now? betsuni May 8 #260

This is devolving into mish mash mcar May 8 #262

Mission accomplished! betsuni May 8 #266

I wish you had spent about Dorian Gray May 8 #277

If non-fatal aviation mishaps occurred every day (and actually they do), Ocelot II May 8 #259

Apples and oranges mcar May 8 #261

How so? Silent3 May 8 #263

I'll take limbicnuminousity May 8 #256

Privilege can be defined as "shit you don't have to put up with." Ocelot II May 8 #269

And then having the gall to tell women to not be so afraid Sky Jewels May 8 #271

Just want to take this opportunity to say I'm sorry. Cuthbert Allgood May 8 #268

Facebook algorithm just offered me this Cuthbert Allgood May 8 #272

Never ran into a bear outside of a zoo. Torchlight May 8 #278

Great discussion. Do you use a purse seine or a drift net to catch those bears? Hekate May 8 #279

I live where there are bears. I never put my trash out the night before pickup. mjvpi May 8 #282

The "Thought Experiment" is completely absurd CelticCrow May 8 #284

So, I honestly had no idea where the stuff on this post was coming from, Crunchy Frog May 8 #285

"Men aren't that dangerous"?? thucythucy May 8 #288

Sadly, young men and boys need to be educated... PeaceWave May 8 #295

. MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #299

Such orthodoxy. Torchlight May 8 #300

Young men and boys need to be educated not to rape thucythucy May 10 #327

What is the point of this? MorbidButterflyTat May 8 #298

Christ, this place has been dumb lately... róisín_dubh May 8 #301

Top 10 Most Unnecessary OPs Ever ProfessorGAC May 8 #303

I realized early on that what he really wants is prurient details. I suggest people stop giving them to him.... Hekate May 8 #310

Hence My Use Of The Word... ProfessorGAC May 8 #312

Yup Hekate May 8 #313

Cool story, bro Hekate May 8 #304

I learned early Marthe48 May 8 #307

The male human animal or the animal type genus Ursus? The human male. Easier to gut. If necessary, of course. Solly Mack May 8 #309

You go, girl Hekate May 8 #311

Nobody here seems to give a damn what the bear wants... PeaceWave May 8 #315

Did you forget your sarcasm thingy? Hekate May 8 #316

He's one of those "trying way too hard" types. Scrivener7 May 8 #319

Let me just say this as a man BannonsLiver May 8 #320

Bear chowder66 May 9 #323

Every single one. SweetT May 10 #326

Damn. Thought I had trashed this thread. And blocked the OP Nittersing May 10 #328

My attitude is on display at the bottom of every post I make. nocoincidences May 10 #330

The irony here is that a mountain lion screaming sounds very much like a woman in danger. PeaceWave May 10 #331

Replied in wrong thread Hekate May 10 #332

Caption time: demmiblue May 17 #333