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elperromagico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 06:43 PM
Original message
Favorite Homer Simpson Quote?
Mine is, "Uhh, yeah, I was at the flower shop too! Yep, gettin' drunk at the old flower shop!"
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tridim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 06:47 PM
Response to Original message
1. "Mmmm... Various eggs"
That's not really my favorite, but I laugh every time I hear it.

How about.. "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
2. "D'oh!"
:D
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SmileyBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
3. When Homer crashed his car into Marge's in a blizzard:
Edited on Tue Aug-31-04 06:50 PM by northwest
Insurance guy: "Now before I give you the cheque, I just need to be clear on one thing. This 'Moe's' you came home from, is this a business of some sort??"

Homer's Brain: "Don't tell him you were at a bar... Ohhhh, but what else is open this late at night???"

Homer: "I was at a pornography store. I was buying pornography."

Homer's Brain: "Swish!!"
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Ruffhowse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
4. "Who needs new bands anymore, Rock and Roll achieved a state of
Edited on Tue Aug-31-04 06:55 PM by Ruffhowse
perfection in 1974, it's a known scientific fact!"
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Wilber_Stool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
5. A wise man
fights his battles with pointed words. Sorry, sticks. Pointed sticks.
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atommom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:04 PM
Response to Original message
6. "Aw, honey, just cause I don't CARE doesn't mean I don't UNDERSTAND!"
And also...

"I would kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet beer."
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ET Awful Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:14 PM
Response to Original message
7. All right brain,
you don't like me and I don't like you, so let's just do this thing and I'll go back to killing you with beer.”
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jpgray Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:16 PM
Response to Original message
8. Mmm, sixty-four slices of american cheese
:D
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BlackVelvetElvis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #8
31. "Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?"
"I think I'm blind."

That whole scene makes me squeal.
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Mrs_Beastman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
9. Bart to Homer
'April.....'

Bart plays a April Fool's joke on Homer. Shakes a can of beer in a paint mixer. Bart ends up blowing up the house and Homer ends up in a coma. .....I was in tears
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gollygee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:23 PM
Response to Original message
10. His answer when Bart asked what religion they were.
"You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work in real life -- uh, Christianity."
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:27 PM
Response to Original message
11. LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO YELL!!!!
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Dukkha Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 07:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. "Remember when I took that home wine making course...
...and I forgot how to drive"

Marge: "that's because you were drunk"

Homer: "And how!"
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Ruffhowse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
13. "Mmmmm, donuts, is there anything they can't do?"
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eyesroll Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
14. (Don't say you were at a bar)
Edited on Tue Aug-31-04 08:32 PM by eyesroll
"I was at a pornography store. I was buying pornograpy."

On edit: Looks like I duped someone already. 'Tis well.

I also like many of the variations of "mmm, donuts."
"Mmm, something" and "mmm, free goo" also work.
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ajacobson Donating Member (828 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:32 PM
Response to Original message
15. Give Me FUGU
:-)
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happyasaclam Donating Member (165 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
16. So many to choose from....
A couple of my personal favourites....

Homer Simpson to Martin.. "HOMEWRECKER!"

Homer Simpson "You know me Marge. I Like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaammmiinngggg"

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AngryAmish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
17. Take your rage and press it into a small little ball.
Then push it way deep inside. And let it out at an appropriate time - like that time Daddy hit the referee with the whisky bottle. Remember that, sweetie, remember? Yeah.
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
18. Marge, my friend -- I haven't learned a thing.
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peekaloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:43 PM
Response to Original message
19. Oooohhh I'ma rage-aholic, I can't live without rage-ahol.
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scarlet_owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
20. "Florida! But that's America's wang!"
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UpsideDownFlag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
21. "SAVE ME JEEBUS! Homer to Jeebus, come in Jeebus??"
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ellie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
22. They have the Internet on computers now!
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elperromagico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #22
24. Is your avatar Lead Belly?
I can't tell.
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ellie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 05:04 AM
Response to Reply #24
35. Yes, I didn't do a very good job on it though.
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DerekG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
23. "I call the big one, Bitey."
From Marge vs. the Monorail
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Zech Marquis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
25. easy..
Homer singing "Nacho Man" :bounce:
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Ohio Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
26. At the Post Office
Homer: My name is Mr. Burns

Postal Worker: What is your first name?

Homer: I don't know.
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truthbetold Donating Member (525 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:33 PM
Response to Original message
27. Haha, this one's the best.
Mr. Burns wants Homer to get off his property, so Homer says:
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"
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stranger_with_candy Donating Member (549 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:36 PM
Response to Original message
28. "purple is a fruit"
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
29. I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
i stole that and used it at a meeting a few months ago. only one person got it.
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Baclava Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
30. Lots...
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get." - Homer Simpson.

"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

“Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.”

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
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drhilarius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
32. "I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on a table...
...the doctors said I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.
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short bus driver Donating Member (14 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Aug-31-04 11:20 PM
Response to Original message
33. Honey, vampires are just magical creatures. . .
. . .like leprechauns and dragons and Eskimos.
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bookfreak Donating Member (193 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 04:36 AM
Response to Original message
34. "He didn't give you gay, did he?"
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