Hillbilly Economics

[Daveparts]

Hillbilly Economics
By David Glenn cox


How often we hear of liberal bias in the media, where is it? Roseanne Barr once explained that the reason the critics were so hard on her show, “Roseanne,” was because the Conners were blue-collar middle class.

Dan and Roseanne worked with their hands; both were at times unemployed. Tim Allen worked with his hands but was the host of a TV program. Mr. Brady was an architect; Joey became famous on “Days of our Lives,” and Ross was a paleontologist. Rachael was a waitress, then she became a buyer at Bloomingdales, then a buyer for Ralph Lauren. On TV success is easy. Mary Tyler Moore answered a want ad and became a TV executive producer.

Archie Bunker, of course, was blue-collar, but that was the point. Archie was an ignorant bigot, and you know all ignorant bigots are blue-collar. George Jefferson was a bigot, too, but he was moving on up. He could be excused for his bigotry because he used to be blue-collar.

They might start out blue-collar, but they don’t stay there long. Except, of course, for the most liberal situation comedy ever on the airwaves, “The Beverly Hillbillies.” The family was poor and uneducated until oil was found on their land, but they were always kind and open-minded toward others. They were trusting to a fault. Jethro was stupid, not because the poor are stupid but because Jethro was Jethro. Jed was wise and Granny was full of mountain wisdom. “Granny, did you have lots of beaus when you were my age?”

“Honey, when I was your age I set so many hearts on fire they took to calling that part of the country the Smoky Mountains!”

In the second season there is an episode entitled “Jed Incorporated.” Banker Drysdale wants Jed to incorporate for tax purposes. The Clampetts, not understanding the need to incorporate, have it explained to them by Jane Hathaway. After an intricate explanation, Hathaway asks, “Understand?”

Jed answers, “Not a word.” Granny answers, “She lost me after she cleared her throat.”

“While tax evasion is illegal, tax avoidance is perfectly acceptable,” Hathaway explains.

Jed answers, “I hear tell that the government is hurting for money.”

“That’s their problem!” Drysdale barks.

“Why?” Jed asks. “We got plenty and this country has been good to us.”

“Mr. Clampett,” Drysdale explains, “the goal of a business economy is to put as much money into the hands of the people as possible. By investing we can do that more efficiently. Do you understand?”

As Drysdale and Hathaway leave, Jed tells the family, “I think we know what we need to do. Jethro, go down to the cashier and get us a big box of money.”

As banker Drysdale dictates a letter, money begins to flutter down past his window. In shock and horror they run to the penthouse to find Jed and Granny admiring the crowd forming below. Jed sends Jethro for more money as Granny adds, “Get more of the big bills, tens and twenties, they make them happier!”

“Mr. Clampett,” Drysdale says, “you can’t just throw money out of the window!”

“No, sir, not until Jethro gets back.”

In the final scene banker Drysdale is sullen, Jed has refused to incorporate if he can’t give money away. Drysdale’s anger is because the twenty-four thousand dollars thrown from the window wasn’t tax deductible.

Through the vehicle of these hillbillies, conservative ideology and economics were lampooned. Drysdale talked about putting money into other people’s hands but the hillbillies proved that he didn’t mean a word of it. They were grateful for what they had and were more than willing to pay their fair share of taxes, if only because the country had been good to them.

In the forty-five years since the episode first aired, it has become even truer and funnier. You don’t see characters like the miserly Milburn Drysdale portrayed on television anymore. You don’t see morality explained through satire anymore, or even see morality questioned.

Instead we get the mindless drivel of white-collar workers, a doctor married to a lawyer or a lawyer married to a business owner. Never an auto mechanic married to a waitress. And they can discuss abortion or gay relationships, but never, never, never can they sit their kids down to explain to them why they don’t have the money to send them to college. Or why they can’t pay for their braces or send them to band or play in the Little League. That is too much reality for television.

Reality television is fantasy and fantasy television is reality, how telling.

“Mr. Clampett, I brought your tax return over for you to sign.”

“Well, they done a good job this year, so let’s give them a little extra!”