A Field Guide to General Discussion Arguments.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

For those of you who don't have the time, patience or bandwidth to slog through 200 or 300 post threads about "Candidate vs. Candidate" or "The US is Evil vs. No It Isn't" or any of the other six trillion permutations of GD Argument, I have helpfully prepared this quick generic synopsis:

1) Initial poster presents opinion, usually stated as fact, if not Absolute Truth.

2) Followup poster expresses skepticism, ranging from mild to severe.

3) Initial poster, upset and uncomprehending why the post was not greeted with acclaim, responds with the same argument phrased differently.

4) Skeptic requests clarification and/or additional information.

5) Initial poster posts long list of googled links and/or quotes, often with only tangential connection to the original topic.

6) Skeptic, baffled as to what the list has to do with anything, requests clarification again.

7) Repeat steps 3-6 for at least an hour of real-time.

8) Initial poster begins lambasting skeptic with veiled personal insults.

9) Skeptic, beginning to get tired of the runaround, responds with sarcasm.

10) Initial poster reacts to sarcasm, declares skeptic to be a paid agent and/or close, personal friend of Karl Rove.

11) Skeptic reacts to accusation with outright and abject mockery.

12) Repeat steps 8-11 for at least an hour.

13) Skeptic finally gives up and abandons thread.

14) Initial poster declares "victory."

Add sycophants, fanboys, Merry Pranksters, freepi and other assorted DU wildlife to taste.