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So yeah, he's absolutely correct that those with a lot of assets should definitely seek professional assistance, and naming persons other than family members can lead to will contests. As for notarized wills holding up, this will of course depend on the probate laws of the particular state involved, but my expectation is that a notary alone is neither necessary nor sufficient to make a will legally valid -- I expect you will also need two witnesses to the will in order to make it valid. The notary is, however, crucial to make a self-proving affidavit for the will, which can save a lot of expense in probating the will after death.
Now Karl, since you refer to your SO as your "SO," I'm going to venture that there is no legal relationship between the two of you. I invite you to peruse my website -- somewhere there is an article I wrote about estate planning for gay and lesbian couples, and it applies equally well to hetero couples who have chosen not to get married.
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