What can you do to comfort a friend who's wife has miscarried?

[grace0418]

My dear friend and his wife lost their baby over the weekend. I know there is nothing you can do or say, really. And I know the first thing that comes to mind is to tell them if they need anything to call you. But most people won't call you. Most grieving people don't even know what they need.

I know better than to say anything stupid like "well, you can try again" or "it was only 12 weeks, you're probably not too attached"-- but other than saying "I'm so sorry," I'm at a complete loss. I see my friend every day (we carpool together) but I only see his wife when we get together socially about once a month or so. I want to acknowledge their loss and support them, but I don't want to add to their grief. Do any of you have any advice for what I *can* say or do? Have any of you lived through this awful experience and remembered something that someone said or did that really helped you get through it? Did you prefer to be just left alone or did you want to be distracted? Did you appreciate being asked about it at the time (or at a later date) or did you prefer the subject not be brought up? Did you prefer just getting a card and not having to talk about it at all?

Thanks in advance for your help.