My mom is dying

[Catshrink]

This is hard to write. Mom has been declining for the past couple of years, but heck, she's 83. After several 10 hour waits in the ER and subsequent hospitalizations, we decided to go with hospice care. Hospice has been wonderful -- all of the people are kind and professional. They answer questions and take time with each of us.

Since last Saturday, mom has gone downhill fast. Saturday she was weak, yesterday she could hardly breathe. When she tried to move she ended up panting so badly the hospice nurse was shaken. She now has a hospital bed in the living room -- that is more comfortable for her and easier for me and my aunt to care for her.

This afternoon, dad finally got it. Yesterday he said "when your mom gets over this..." Today, he finally heard what the hospice nurse has been trying to tell him.

At best mom has a week, but it will probably be sooner. I'm numb. I can't imagine being without her. She was always such a strong woman. Seeing her struggling for breath is heartbreaking. She is in no pain, she has medications to keep her comfortable. She isn't a zombie either, but does drift in and out of consciousness.

What's really weird is that Wednesday is my bd. I don't care about it but my sisters and aunt and dad are making a big deal of it -- and mom even asked me what I wanted today. Maybe they need my bd to break the sadness of what's going on. I can hardly think of celebrating.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's up with mom. Keep us in your prayers or thoughts. thanks.