I'm really struggling with my hatred of Republicans...Anyone else?

[Arugula Latte]

I fucking hate Republicans. I can't shake my anger at them. I don't care if they're the "moderate" or "just fiscally conservative" or "not really political" type of Republicans. I fucking hate them. I will never forgive them for what they've done to our country. I will never forgive even the most passive Republican for enabling Bushco. Fury fills my veins when I think of them. You all know the results of their Republicanism. Stolen elections. Hundreds of thousands of slaughtered Iraqis. Torture. Melting ice caps. Tax breaks for billionaires. A shredded constitution. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Positively unforgiveable.

I know it's wrong to "hate" anyone. Still, I can't shake my hatred, no matter how hard I try to talk myself out of it. I feel it in my gut.

Ten years ago, I wasn't like this. Yes I was a self-proclaimed liberal from the age of 14 when that dickhead Reagan somehow became president. I've always voted for the D's, but I could sort of eye-rollingly tolerate the few Republicans I knew. Not any more.

Since the age of 18, I've lived only in liberal places. Berkeley, San Francisco, Washington DC and Portland. The one Republican "friend" I've kept from high school has essentially been cut out of my life. I'm afraid if I start talking to her vent all my fury and rip her to shreds. So it's easier not to talk.

My husband and I have basically constructed a Republican-free life. Until now.

My widowed, atheist, Green-registered mother has recently started dating a man. She's gushing. She's in love. He's wonderful. etc. She wants me to be happy for her. I want to be happy for her.

I've never met the guy. They're in another state. I'm sure he seems perfectly nice and caring. Yet, one time she slipped that he's a Republican. He went to see "Sicko" with her because he says he's one of those "open-minded" Republicans. Well, good for him.

Yet.

I can't shake the fact that he's a Republican. If they get married, I'll have to deal with him. And I hate him.

I fucking hate him. He's an enabler of the destruction of our country. That is overriding everything to me, even though I try to talk myself out of my own feeling. I can't seem to do it. My sister thinks on this particular issue, I'm overreacting. I can't help it. I feel what I feel.

So far I've said little about the relationship to her. I'm sure she wants me to ask her questions about him and share her joy. I just can't. Because she's dating The Enemy. Oh, he's a handsome, congenial Enemy, I'm quite sure. She has no idea I hate her boyfriend, who I've never met.

I'm sure people will think I'm sick and judgmental and selfish. So be it. I'm being honest. Does loyalty to my father play into this? Very little. My sympathies/loyalties were always with my mother. My father was no picnic to be married to, I'm sure. Yes, I loved him. But I understand life goes on, life is for the living, etc. etc. My mother has been lonely, and she should date if she wants to.

Yet.

Even though I don't want to, I hate my mother's boyfriend. And I feel like crying. :cry: