Reply #8: "Bicarbonate of Chicken", and "I'm My Own Grandpa"

[CanuckAmok]

(note: this is probably the Unofficial Free Republic Anthem)
I'm My Own Grandpa
( Lonzo & Oscar )

It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know,
But it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three,
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life,
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad,
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother.

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run,
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue,
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild,
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild,
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa.
I'm my own grandpa.
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so,
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.



And this timeless classic, by Ivor Cutler:

"Waiter!

What do you want?

I want Bicarbonate of Chicken tonight,
The town is shiftin', it's all that chicken,
There ain't a human being in sight, man,
They're all gone diggin' into chicken!

Waiter! Waither!

What do you want?

Where's my Bicarbonate of Chicken?

The chef says there's none.

There better be some, or I'll tear the town to pieces!

Hold on, sir, just you hold on a minute,
The chef's got a box...perhaps there's chickens innit...
I'm delighted to say it's true,
'Bicarb o' Chick' will be delivered to you!

Thank you, waiter, you're a really good pal,
Here's fifty dollars, get yourself a fine gal!

(The waiter and the chef are enjoyin' life,
The waiter is her husband and the chef is his wife!)