Reply #8: I've waited tables, too

[StellaBlue]

Hated it, of course. To make a long story short, I got my masters in English/Art History in 2002, planning to go for a PhD/tenure track. But the MA burned me out totally on the whole, BS enterprise. I was in the UK to be with my partner, who I had known for six years, so I worked waitressing and retail jobs for a loooong time while waiting on my immigration issues to get sorted out by the damn Home Office. They kept my passport for a year, I missed the funerals of two grandparents, and I couldn't get a 'real' job with an up-in-the-air student visa. I didn't, and don't, want to get married. So we finally got the domestic partnership visa in spring 2004. I had been working in a temp-to-perm position in one of the '100 best companies to work for' in the UK since Christmas, and as soon as the visa came through, they promoted me and put me into a professional-track position with good benefits, company car, and about $40K/pa USD. In three years, after getting some further training, I would've been able to get about $70-80K. Everything seemed finally to be working out after my years of hard work and doubt and then boom! my partner tells me one day after work that he wants out and convinces me that we need a 'trial separation'. He convinced me to get a sabbatial from work and go home for a nice long visit for a couple of months (like I said, I had been tortured the whole time about whether I wanted to go back to Texas or not, partly for the football, partly because I knew that I wouldn't be working in retail with a masters degree if I had stayed in Austin to begin with, as I had a state job and some connections at the time). Less than 48 hours after I got here, he told me to start looking for a job in Texas. Seriously. All this six months before I would've qualified for permanent residence in the UK, independent of our relationship. Then he sent all my possessions back to me in boxes. Then he moved to the Alps. No shit.

So I have been working in an $18K/pa job here in Hickville since October, trying to save money. My connections no longer seem to pan out, and of course, the job market is much, much worse than when I left in 2001. And now I have a long break in my work history (I don't want to put my current job on as I am taking a more than 50% cut in wages/status). I deeply resent having to come back here. I left when I was 17. It's filled with typical Bible-thumping, W-loving, gun-toting people who seem totally crazy and delusional to me. I love Austin.

My parents can't/won't help me out. My dad said the whole time I was abroad that he would be so happy if I would come home that he would help me out, but all he will do now is buy me food, let me use his water/electricity occasionally (I spend most of the time with my mother - they're divorced), and make calls to the few connections we can scrape up in my job search. For some reason, he won't even loan me enough money to just freaking move to Austin and get a shit job down THERE. But there are longstanding issues between me and my dad. He is a control freak. My mom would help, but can't on her salary. In a few short years, I fear I will have to come up with a way to support HER (no healthcare or retirement).

I am applying to the distance MLIS program at TWU and hope to become an academic librarian within 18 months, but the way things have been going for me for so long now, I wouldn't be surprised if I spend another $5,000 on THAT degree only to be completely unable to find work. But I gotta bite the bullet and DO something, I figure.

So, yeah, I feel like things aren't happening fast enough. And haven't been for the last, oh, five years now.

What would you do? (I do not mean this sarcastically.)