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Reply #30: We place such a stigma on sex here [View All]

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hyphenate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-11-07 12:20 AM
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30. We place such a stigma on sex here
in our country that things like sex get people in an uproar without due perspective.

Has the religious right really got us backed into their corner of puritanical judgement? Must we really give them a victory over this?

Whether we agree or disagree with the choice of the mother and her boyfriend in this case, the better way to look at it is through the eyes of a society that seeks to impose limits and laws over our personal lives. We, liberals, need to remember that in all its contexts, whether we agree with an individual case or not, our first choice is to remember that freedom of privacy is one of our positions. We want the ability to keep our bedroom doors closed from the outside world, and to stop judging us for whatever we do in that bedroom. We don't want legislature to penetrate into our lives on that level at all.

Yes, there is a child involved in this, but overall, nothing horrific happened. Okay, so perhaps might see a hint of "sexual abuse" by the mother, allowing her daughter to see her in a sexual act, but tell me, which is more damaging to a 9 year old child--a normal sexual act, or the evening news, with death, violence, corpses, repeated assault, stories of beheadings, stepping on landmines, children being used as human shields, flag covered coffins, and neverending scenes of blood, gore, corruption, lies, and more? Give pause for a moment before answering. The religious right hopes you will answer the sex act--common sense and practicality says that violence is worse than sex in every single possible case, except, of course, for the times when children are being violated.

In this particular case, it would have made more common sense to kick the child out of the room, but the mother should be faulted for simple idiocy, not sexual abuse. I would personally worry more if the child saw a random act of violence--her psyche would have been more horribly damaged from such an event, whereas seeing a sexual act is only going to pique her curiosity to learn out more about sex, which might actually be beneficial in the long run!

Seriously, there are commercials on every single day, nearly every single hour, for erectile dysfunction, for personal lubricant, and for pregnancy tests; the number of "four-letter words" has decreased slowly over the past forty years to the point where I think there are only 3 or 4(?) left; and kids surfing the internet see more sex websites than their parents can ever guess. While the religious right cites all these things as a deteriorating society, the truth is, there are so many things which have remained secret far too long: the lies and the evil cannot live in the light of day. Incest, pedophilia, molestations--how many children suffered through these things for years as the adults in their lives failed to protect them, or even worse, actually were the abusers?

Simple sex should not be a forbidden subject! Straight or gay, bringing things into the open and discussing them take away the mystique that somehow imparts a sense of nastiness to the subject. Talking about sex should be natural, affirming, and more than anything, honest.

Our negative reaction to this supposed "crime" shows that the notion of sex as dirty, evil, naughty, and ugly continues in many of us even now, especially when children are involved. It is only when our children are armed with the truth, the facts and the ability to ascertain what is good and pure and biologically joyful that they will have far less hangups, far less detrimental attitudes and far fewer questions than my generation, or truly, any generation that preceded them. And, if we do our job right, those who will follow us will also have a more guarded attitude toward violence--they will see war as the true evil, the killer of mankind, and the inglorious nature of it, instead of the conservative notion that war is in any way glorious or needed.

I shake my head at this woman and her boyfriend, but to be outraged to the point where puritan notions rule the moment, I just can't feel that. Common sense is a commodity that we need to distribute more homogeneously, even while we should stick up our middle fingers at the religious right and their hopelessly confused priorities. They have got to be shut down at every possible turn and shown for the hypocrites that they really are and always have been. Evil cannot stand the light of day. but the force of truth can help to drag people from the medieval sensibilities toward sex and show that some light on the subject goes a long way in helping make sex the natural and joyous activity it really can be.
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