Reply #59: Not at all what I said. Battery is a serious crime, in my view, and it should be;

[struggle4progress]

moreover, I will say that someone who batters another gets no sympathy from me

That said, I will also point out that there are many forms of dysfunctional relationships, and that in my lifetime I have repeatedly seen circumstances in which one person deliberately set to provoke a bad reaction from another. I don't think the person provoked ever has an excuse for losing self-control, but the law will nevertheless in some circumstances recognize and take into account "fighting words" -- though I expect the courts are probably not inclined to take into account in domestic battery cases. Nevertheless, I have definitely seen both men and women deliberately set out to provoke bad behavior in others, and there's always the possibility that people living together for many years have developed a brutal understanding of how to push each other's bad-reaction buttons, especially if they haven't learned productive conflict resolution methods. I'm sorry if you don't like those remarks

If you read my post carefully you will also see that (1) I advised against bailing the fellow out and (2) I suggested there was a real likelihood the behavior would recur. I also said (3) there's a serious problem with the relationship and that (4) the folk involved needed to deal with their problem with AA, counseling, separation ...