Reply #90: Get out. Get out. Get out.

[Dora]

It's one thing to ask or tell him to leave. It's another thing for you to actually leave the relationship yourself.

He's your fiance, you're marrying soon. He just hit you for the first time, and blames you.

From this we can gather that he's been on his best behavior for the duration of your relationship *until now*. It doesn't get better after this. It gets worse. If you forgive him and stay in the relationship, you're sending the message that you'll accept his abuse.

You can forgive him and leave too. But it's more important for you to leave. Forgiveness comes later. In order for people to have healthy relationships with others, we have to have healthy relationships with ourselves. And if you're telling yourself that it's *okay* for you to be hit by someone else because you *love* him, then how much are you loving yourself? Until you set some limits and boundaries for yourself, this man (and other people too) will continue to hit you, blame you, criticize you until you're questioning your sanity and creeping around in a world that seems unpredictable and unloving.

Love and protect yourself as you would love and protect a child. It is a beautiful world if we allow ourselves to live in it.