Sarah Palin meets her Maker at what seems like the Pearly Gates

[zulchzulu]

Way, way into the future...

Sarah Palin has passed on and is going down that hall with the light at the end of the tunnel. It reminds her of when it was the peak of her career at the Republican Convention when she gave that big speech... the same lights, the feeling of wearing new, wonderful clothing, the cheers, the music, the energy...

This is it. Sarah's big moment. Finally, she gets to meet God. Wow. She purses her lips, ties her hair in that bun in the back, adjusts those trademarks glasses... the ground feels a little hot and seems hotter as she walks into the light... wow, she thinks... they must have a lot of lights on or something.

She makes the turn and goes down a lot of steps. Like a couple hundred steps. She is getting a little nervous. Her shoes are getting hotter. The cheers are fading away.

There. There is the Door. It looks like the door in the basement of her home where her husband, the "first dude" Todd used to tinker with his snowmobiles. Kind of ratty. Oh well. Maybe even Heaven's economy is doing bad, she thinks.

She opens the door. The handle is hot. There is a lobby. It looks like a Nieman Marcus loading zone and people who look like Todd are loading boxes onto what looks like a plane that she and John McCain used to fly on. How bizarro, she thinks.

Then comes out a guy who looks exactly like George W. Bush! He's wearing some really ugly red satin suit that is tight-fitting. His eyes are red and it looks like he was eating something where it was bloody. He has some red meat hanging from his mouth. He also has a black eye. He laughs and hands her a pretzel. She takes it. She takes a bite. It tastes like chalk.

"So...Sarah, do you have anything to say about your mistakes you might have made in your life", asks the guy who looks like Bush. Sarah feels nervous. She can't think straight. She never did anything wrong, she thinks. Nothing... never. It was other people who did bad stuff and she would always disarm them with her beauty queen smirk. Like those gals on Fox News, she thought.

"Well, in what respect, sir?" she inquired. The guy who looked like Bush grabbed a pretzel out of his pants and threw it at her! Why, she thought? It hit her in the eye. "Haven't you read anything about yourself, Sarah?" said the man. "I don't have time to... wait... I read everything!" Sarah retorted. The guy who looked like Bush laughed and said he didn't read anything his whole life. "You didn't either, Sarah!" he chortled.

So now Sarah was getting nervous. It was really hot in that room. The guy who looked like Bush showed her a picture of her family, which he pulled out of his pants. He giggled and waved the photo in her face.

Sarah suddenly went into a rage! "It's not my fault... they did it, not me! I've never done anything wrong! It's Todd's fault! It's Tripp's fault! It's Bristol. Piper. Track. Willow. Trig.... they did it! Not me! Nooo!!!"

The guy who looked like Bush just stood there laughing. His smile widened as she fell to the floor and started trying to grab what she thought were golden credit cards from Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus, Barney’s and Bloomingdale’s... she couldn't grab them. "What are you doing to me, mister?" Sarah asked.

The guy who looked like Bush whistled. Suddenly ten wolves came out of a door and started growling. They looked very hungry. They walked toward her and the guy who looked like Bush got out a big bottle of Devil's Steak Sauce and sprayed her with it. The wolves walked closer.

Suddenly there was a loud flash of light! Confetti like at that Republican Convention starting falling down. The music got very loud. The guy who looked like Bush walked away and closed the door, laughing in his own way.

The sounds of wolves growling and barking was all that could be seen as the noise of what sounded like the crescendo of the Republican Convention became deafening. The confetti clouds hid whatever was happening in that room.


(Note: this was fun writing. Perhaps you have a better ending....)

:rofl: