Reply #19: So did you say ANYTHING to her to call her out for her bigotry?

[keepCAblue]

People like that will continue saying hostile and inappropriate things until someone calls them out and shames them for their bigotry. There are so many things you could or should have said to her, at the moment of her inappropriate speech:

INDIRECT:

"Gross? Why do you feel that way, Do you have a problem with Gay people?"

"So what if they were flirting with me? I find it harmless and flattering -I'm secure enough in my sexual identity to not be offended by people who are different from me, aren't you?"

"No, they weren't flirting with me, they were just being friendly. Geez, what's your hang up with lesbians? Why are you obsessed with other people's sex lives?"

DIRECT:

"I find your comment to offensive and discriminatory and it is inappropriate in the workplace. I do not appreciate and do not want to hear your homophobic remarks."

In my past years of work/office experience, I found the only way for people like your coworker to know that their behavior/speech is offensive and inappropriate is to say something to them -- let them know, either directly or indirectly, that such hostility and discrimination is not tolerated in the work place, otherwise, like a child who is never corrected for his/her bad behavior, they will continue to repeat it.