Reply #11: I think we actually mostly agree

[FarCenter]

Except that common law marriages are only legal in some states.

"In the United States, new common law marriages arising in the state are still recognised in Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and the District of Columbia,<1> and in several Canadian provinces."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage

In other states the written, witnessed, state-issued license is require in order to become married.

Clergy are only one group of people who, in non-common law marriage states, are empowered by the state to perform marriages. The definition of who is a "minister" is pretty squishy, and there are lots of religions, so one should be able to find an accommodateing individual. If the jurisdiction allows weddings to be performed by notary publics, you can have a friend become a notary public in order to officiate at the occasion.