Middle School Girl gets detention for... (gasp) HUGGING!!

[Blue Belle]

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/05/16/national/main695537.shtml

<SNIP> A 14-year-old girl received detention over a lingering hug she gave her boyfriend at school, infuriating her mother and putting school officials on the defensive.

School officials said they had warned Cazz Altomare that lingering hugging was unacceptable, but she continued to disobey the rule when she received the detention earlier this year.

Rules at Sky View Middle School in Bend permit "quick hello and goodbye hugs," but administrators said some students have been taking advantage of it.

<SNIP> Her mother, Leslee Swanson, was infuriated by the punishment. "I'm trying to understand what's wrong with a hug," Swanson, 42, said in a story Sunday in The Bulletin of Bend. People should not "blindly accept these fundamental rights being taken away from them," she said. When she went to pick her daughter up from detention, she gave her a good, hard hug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So is this what it's coming to now?? Bible = YES!! Hugging = NO!!

[MountainLaurel]

1. But he touched her dirty pillows!

:evilgrin:

[UCLA Dem]

12. very bad indeed!

[warrens]

26. Bwahahahahahaha

Dirty pillows. Sounds like something those fundies would say.

[Fire Walk With Me]

27. That's from "Carrie", right?

Nice one.

[LiberalVoice]

33. "They're called breasts mama!"

Oh that line makes me laugh everytime :D

[HughBeaumont]

34. "Take awf that dress!"

"We'll burn it togethuh and pray for forgiveness."

Sadly, there are fundies that act far worse than Weird Martha White.

[spooky3]

41. Geez, didn't these people watch "Footloose"?

[Bravo411]

46. It might have made her late for her class on creationism.

[Blue Belle]

47. "No patty-fingers if you please"

(kudos for anyone who gets what movie that is)

[Zacpres]

54. John Wayne Movie

My favorite


The Quiet man

[Blue Belle]

60. Bravo!

It's the first thing I thought of when I read this article last night... That scene where they're in the wagon in the Irish Courting Ritutal...

It's one of my favorite movies too.

[Zacpres]

55. The movie was

The Quiet Man starring John Wayne.

[Blue Belle]

61. Bravo..

:applause:

[sarcasmo]

2. This is what the Country will be like the longer the Right pounds the

Bible.

[FreedomAngel82]

15. So are we

all going to be wearing burka's soon?

[anitar1]

45. This is the Bend, Oregon area which tends to be toward

The right. Oregon has areas that are very "librul" and thank the Goddess that I live in one of those areas. We have pockets of hard right wing fundies.Mostly areas with lower rural populations.

[UpInArms]

3. the Talibornagain strikes anew .........eom

[Ilsa]

4. All that Mike Huckabee could muster after he and his wife

recommitted in a covenant marriage was a handshake. If this is where these Victorian-minded people want to take us - no touching, no prolonged hugs, a handshake after your "I do's" - the world is going to turn into a cold and ugly place.

One hopeful outcome: fewer fundie children will be born from such cold relationships.

[Blue Belle]

8. You don't need affection to procreate...

If that were the criteria, we wouldn't have to worry about George W. Bush because he never would have been born!

[LifeDuringWartime]

5. "displaying signs of affection"

or some bullshit like that isnt allowed at my school. so theoretically, holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc, isnt allowed. im not sure if ive ever heard of that rule being enforced, however.

i dont have a copy of the student handbook handy, but i could probably get one.

[Massacure]

23. Same here. Displaying sings of affections is off limits.

It generally isn't enforced unless some students go overboard. It really comes down to common sense.

[LiberalFighter]

35. I don't remember a student handbook in my day

[Massacure]

40. Reminds me of my homeroom teacher.

Says back in his day they didn't have handbooks, you just followed common sense. He says now the schools need a way to cover their rears from lawsuits.

[proud2BlibKansan]

6. So was the boy punished too?

And how many times had this girl been in trouble for hugging before?

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. My very first thought.

[la la]

16. to hug or not to hug---

Most school districts have no hugging rules and etc --because of sexual harassment issues - teachers aren't supposed to hug back when students want to hug them, either = it's a touchy subject, so to speak! I've had kids run up to hug me in and out of classrooms and I've had to kind of turn my body away, but still not be dismissive to the kid.

My theory is sounds like the hugger had done it before and was warned. Wonder what the mom would say if the boy had been the hugger and the girl tells mom she didn't want to be hugged!

OR--something actually sexual goes on and then mom will really be ready to sue the district!!!

[UCLA Dem]

9. Yes. No hugs without 12 inces inbetween!!! Geezzz...everyone knows that!!

[Elwood P Dowd]

19. What about 6 inches?

In between..........:sarcasm:

Congrats, you're at 1,000 posts.

[UCLA Dem]

10. In honor of this girl's detention, here's hugs to everyone here at DU!!

:hug: :grouphug: :pals:

[Book Lover]

64. Hug back atcha!

:hug: :grouphug:

[Fridays Child]

11. Evidently, hugging gives the administration a collective boner.

:eyes:

[KamaAina]

13. What if she'd hugged her (gasp) girlfriend?! The bastinado?

Sad to see the schools becoming so many farm teams for fascism.

[FreedomAngel82]

14. Yep

Here on the local news they showed a preview segment and they're talking about how they're going to make it to where kids can't hug each other at school. :crazy:

[Blue Belle]

20. And hugging really is where all the trouble begins....

Hugging is a huge distraction... children's mind will be cluttered with thoughts of friendship, warmth, and lust that compound what their raging little hormone filled bodies are feeling. With all those distractions... where will they find the time for religious indoctrination? As if the deprogramming of all the tolerance they learned from Barney and Sesame Street weren't bad enough!! How are we to teach them to hate with all this love and tolerance around?? How are we to do the lords work under these... conditions!?!

:sarcasm:

[realcountrymusic]

17. at least she didn't do any suggestive

cheerleading routines

rcm

[sonicx]

18. Hugging makes baby Jesus cry

:crazy:

[youthere]

51. Every time people hug..

God kills a kitten.

[Gemini Cat]

21. Hugging? Detention for HUGGING!?

Oh now... that's a very serious crime. She needs to be hung outside the school to make an example for others. Kids should NOT hug one another. WE can't allow that!! We must protect the youth!! end/ :sarcasm:


When I was in school, hugging was the least of their worries.

[number6]

22. only rich white men can hold hands, kiss and hug rich

Arab dicktators with lots of OIL, while
spreading "democracy:eyes:" ya know

[highnooner]

24. Hugging is one of the great things in life

SIGH! What are the schools coming to?

[MichiganVote]

25. Well this will get me flamed but you people are seriously misinformed

In the schools today, kids begin "going out" in 2nd grade. On the face of it that's a harmless thing and usually means they are going to walk around the playground together. Other times it means that school personnel are going to find them hiding in the school trying to make out. Don't believe it? Sorry, its happened.

In middle schools and high schools band rooms and other areas have to be locked in some, not all, schools unless they are in use. Why? Because school personnel are often finding kids engaged in oral sex. They think oral sex is safer. So there they are, hiding in closets, behind stages, or in out buildings on school property you and I pay for.

So why have schools instituted the bans on prolonged hugging? Because in the hallways of the schools kids are groping, french kissing, pulling each others pants down and flashing one another.
Thinks that's not so bad? Ok, when was the last time you went to work and put up with this kind of behavior?

Maybe in the instance cited in this article the "hug" was innocent of sexual or provocative intent. But I have to tell you, feeling smug about assumptions that young people are merely being affectionate is like burying your head in the sand.

But for those of you who think that schools do not have an obligation to limit the displays of affection between kids in schools, think again. Someday these young people will have a job, an office space, a salary and no one is going to thank them for "hugging" at work.

[sonicx]

31. Um, don't let kids have oral sex?

Not sure what that has to do with this situation.

[LizW]

37. No flames from this mom of a middle schooler

I pick my son up every afternoon and watch some of the kids grinding each other like crazy. Last spring, it got so bad the principal had to put a moratorium on hugging. She told them they could shake hands, or high five, but no hugging. The kids got the point, and they treated the whole situation with good humor, running up and giving each other huge, exaggerated high fives. They knew the PDA was getting out of hand.

I don't want my son grinding pelvises in public, and if I'm there I'll stop it. I expect his teachers to hold him to a high standard of behavior when he's in their care. Sounds like that's what the principal in this case is doing.

[pop goes the weasel]

38. it's nothing new

When I was in second grade, I had a boyfriend, and we (gasp!) held hands on the play ground. We were also told by the teacher not to, so we learned to sneak around so we could hold hands. Never anything more than that in elementary school, though.

In high school, there was all sorts of making out in the hallways. This was thirty years ago. Probably would have been better if there had been less, but I don't think proscribing specific behavior is the right way to go about it--teens don't really understand why they can't act in certain ways, and all the punishment in the world won't stop them if they don't really understand. Maybe it would be better to introduce mini-ettiquette classes in middle school, with regular refreshers.

[MichiganVote]

39. Maybe it would be better if parents got off their dead asses

and stop insisting schools raise their kids by teaching them "etiquette" they can damn well learn at home.

[stlsaxman]

44. Maybe what you are sighting is the children rebelling against

the Puritan ethics the schools are shaming them into following. The Second Sexual Revolution, perhaps? Well, right on, lil brothers and sisters! fighting the good fight for what is probably the last thing they'll have any control over- their own bodies.

There IS safe sex- there is NO safe war.

Make Love Not War.

[BlueIris]

48. No flames from this woman, subjected to one too many "harmless,"

unsolicited hugs and other inappropriate kinds of physical attention in middle and high school. Our school instructors, administrators and my parents expected us to "deal with it" ourselves. I feel kids in a public school shouldn't have to "deal with" that shit (while they're trying to get through a school day anyway)--if teachers can't be bothered to notice or parents don't care about their kids getting subjected to creepy, inappropriate crap from their classmates there should at least be a standing policy that this kind of behavior should be avoided in a public school. By the time I was in tenth grade, I was more assertive--enough to get the asshole, delinquent (read=rich) boys to leave me alone, but lots of kids aren't. And when I was in middle school and less able to defend myself? The damage that did to my developing self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence, not to mention my ability to learn? Those issues still come up in my therapy sessions on a regular basis. I'm not saying that a policy is necessarily going to halt all forms of extremely out-of-line behaviors in schools, but at least it's a step in the right direction, an acknowledgment that those kinds of behaviors do not, in fact, have a place in a school.

[geniph]

52. I work for a public school district

and believe me, the kids push the PDA (public display of affection) rules right to the limit every chance they get. They're all but humping on the steps outside the school and in the hallways.

Now, this is nothing new. Teenagers are horny little bastards. It's just the teachers used to have more authority in things like this, so there didn't need to be stupid mandatory-sentencing rules sent down from above by the administration and school board. The teachers used to be able to holler at the kids and separate them. Now, if they do that, they're liable to have a parent complain that they're "picking" on the kids. So there have to be codified rules for what physical contact is and is not acceptable.

And teenagers will continue to push the limits. That's what they do. I think suspending her is dumb, but you've got to break 'em up at some point, or they will be dry-humping in the bleachers and dirty-dancing on the lawn. Maybe they just need one class a day when they can just get naked and all do the wild thing, get it out of their systems.

[sandnsea]

56. Right rules, wrong reasons

I love all that concern for the well-being of the kids. Self-restraint is the value to be taught because there ought to be more to a relationship than lust. The rest of your post, jobs and tax money, is just ridiculous.

[pie]

62. I'm with you. There is a place and a time for sex, school ain't it

[shayes51]

69. Good post.

[Arkana]

28. Oh, my God...how pathetic has our society become?

[warrens]

29. They're trying to save the 14 year olds for old white Republicans

[Fire Walk With Me]

30. What would those school officials do if they found out that kids often

know what naked people look like, and that they sometimes even think about it.

Hysteria, I say.

[TroglodyteScholar]

32. Why are school officials telling kids how they can and can't hug? (eom)

[MichiganVote]

36. Because the purpose of school is not hugging, it is to learn

As I said, schools are encountering kids who abuse casual, quick affectionate hugs, pats or other forms of endearment. You no like? Then teach your kids to respect a school America. I know its popular to think that somehow educators don't know the difference between affection and sex but believe or not most can easily figure out the difference.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

66. What a lame argument.

Let's ban scratching your ear. Because the purpose of school is not scratching your ear, it is to learn.
Let's ban smiling. Because the purpose of school is not smiling, it is to learn.
Let's ban wristwatches. Because the purpose of school is not showing off your new wristwatch, it is to learn.
Let's ban recess. Because the purpose of school is not goofing around, it is to learn.
Let's ban the cafeteria. Because the purpose of school is not eating, it is to learn.

[sandnsea]

57. Schools teach self-discipline

It's part of their job. By teaching sexual self-discipline, they also give young people the opportunity to discover the important parts of intimate relationships, talking, finding other interests, even spending time with their friends.

[dsc]

42. The only legitimate argument I see here

is what happened to the boy. Presuming her repetative behavior was with the same boy, then he should have been suspended too. We don't know one way or the other presumedly due to the fact that unless the boys parents agree the reporter can't mention the boy one way or the other.

This young lady was told not to do the behavior and chose to do so knowing the consequences. And, there are plenty of reasons to forbid hugging, not the least of which is to prevent sexual harassment of girls. Often times snitches are looked upon so poorly in schools that a girl will claim an unwelcome hug is welcome to keep the boy out of trouble.

[Occulus]

49. Good Christ, yes, we HAVE to teach our kids that

showing real love and affection for anyone is completely unacceptable in a public setting.

I don't usually shout, but-

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, DON'T THE NAYSAYERS HERE REALIZE WHAT THEY'RE ADVOCATING??? THIS IS HOW THE COLDHEARTEDNESS IN SOCIETY STARTS- BY TEACHING KIDS THAT DISPLAYING LOVE IS WRONG!!!!!

*whew*

Here to do a job. Here to do a job. Here to be responsible. Here to bow to Authority. Here to follow rules. Here to obey Regulations. Here to never, ever be an individual. Here to be punished if I am.

Is this all life is to some people, that they simply cannot tolerate anyone even thinking about defying Authority to show affection?

Oh, and if someone is married or dating and they work together, it's perfectly appropriate for them to give each other a hug or even a kiss, as long as they don't drop trou and go at it right there. Jesus Christ, common sense indeed- but in this case, completely backward!!

[Castilleja]

50. I love your post.

It is the most reasonable one in this thread. :thumbsup:

[sandnsea]

59. Go to a middle school

Do people really not remember middle school & high school. :shrug:

[dsc]

63. How many married middle schoolers do you know?

My point being that their is a difference between kids and adults. I find it hard to beleive that so many here have apparently forgotten what school was like. Kids literally tend to act like they are leaving for wW2 with these goodbyes.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

67. Oh, I see.

Kids shouldn't show affection. Only adults have that right.

The rules should be against lewd behavior only. A hug, even a long one, isn't that. Whoever thinks it is is a pathetic overzealous prude.

[dsc]

70. An unwelcome hug is harassment

and in many, many schools a girl would rather tolerate an unwelcome hug than snitch on the person who did it. Middle schoolers really shouldn't be hugging each other. I don't think banning that is unreasonable.

[sandnsea]

58. It was just detention

It wasn't even a suspension. I cannot believe people are getting up in arms over this. And yes, I'd like to know what happened to the boy too. Maybe his parents didn't complain.

[Robworld]

43. Hugging leads to Sex, Drugs, and Rock N' Roll

http://www.dumdumgoestothecircus.com /
Website updated

[Tyrone Slothrop]

53. No touching!

Sounds like the prison in Arrested Development.

[bleedingheart]

65. What kind of hugging?

Lingering hug as in very close to getting ready to make out?

I recall when I was in high school there was this one gal that had a habit of tonguing her boyfriend in the hall...she became the laughingstock of the entire school. Shortly after she became the butt of jokes she stopped it.

[DemBones DemBones]

68. The mother thinks there's a 'fundamental right' to 'lingering hugs'

between romantically involved kids at school? Puh-leeze.