Sanctity of Marriage and National Security

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(Column Right)
On “Runaway Bride™”
by Mrs. Jolene Fystenbutt


As a devoted wife and mother of three perfect children, I believe that “Runaway Bride™”, Jezebel Wilbanks, should meet her maker while strapped to the electric chair or, better yet, twitching from the end of the veil she was meant to be married in. Anyone who demands any less for this renegade bride is no Christian in my book, and should fry right alongside her. Laugh all you want, but these days a broken engagement is not just an affront to our Savior, but a matter of national security. After all, marriage is the foundation of a stable, Christian society, and by allowing women the option not to walk down the aisle after a man has spent six months wining and dining her at “The Olive Garden” while listening to her endlessly prattle on about Wedgewood China patterns, we're sending a message to the terrorists....
http://www.dissidentvoice.org/May05/Fystenbutt0509.htm

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[HockeyMom]

1. Wilbanks is a nut case and so is the author of that article

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2. It's Satire

It's a satire piece!

[TommyO]

3. Definitely Satire

With a name like Fystenbutt, how could it not be?

For the satirically challenged, a reworking of the name: Fist-in-butt.

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4. Exactly

The author of the story forwarded me some pretty funny e-mails from pissed off readers decrying her "extreme, conservative blah blah blah." If the name isn't a tip off that it's a joke, the bio line should.

Anyway, I hate it when satire pieces announce themselves as such, as many people think they ought to. It's more effective when you're left wondering, "what the f**k?". . . but this one is pretty obvious -- a radical left website posting a religious rightwingnut screed?

Though to be sure, there are a growing number of people in the US that really do think like "Mrs. Fystenbutt" :o