WILLY WONKA DEMANDS FAIR SHARE OF HOMELAND SECURITY FUNDS

[Don Davis]

As widely reported, Homeland Security funding has short-changed national landmarks and monuments, in favor of obscure rural events that don’t even show up on Mapquest, such as the McDonald’s Petting Zoo, flea markets and bean fests.

This has prompted a huge outcry from the proprietor of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, who claimed that next to strip bars, terrorists are most fond of 72 Baby Ruth bars.

Also coming out in support of Wonka was Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans, who claimed that the Bush Administration was clearly prejudiced against chocolate cities and factories.

A spokesman for the Homeland Security Department defended the government’s actions, stating that the Wonka Chocolate Factory was not even eligible for funding, since they’ve outsourced most of their production facilities to Bangalore, India.

“Besides,” the official added, “just imagine the devastation if terrorists managed to detonate an explosive device at Beanfest.”

As to why Times Square in New York City did not receive funding, internal documents show that it was in fact considered a prime target for terrorists, but that even after “Disneyfication,” the Administration still thought it was a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, with too many “gay” Broadway productions.

[nosillies]

1. great satire!

:rofl:

[Vidar]

2. It is, but it's getting harder & harder to tell the satire from

tho original.