Family & Family Values

[usregimechange]

By Linn Hanshaw

As this election comes to the final days, we are being bombarded by our hopeful elected officials talking about how they support the family and family issues. Yet in our society there are those who are being told that they are not family and that their family and family values are not as important as the majority. I speak of the group of people who are denied the basic rights of the mainstream heterosexual families, the gays and lesbians of our community who struggle to find a place in society. We raise our children, teach them right from wrong, how to be a productive citizen, but yet there are many times that we have to cross barriers that the “traditional” family does not have to cross.

Family is defined as: a group of individuals living under one roof usually under one head (Merriam-Webster), a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children, two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place, all the members of a household under one roof (www.education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/family). Family values means to have a good thoughts, good intentions, and good deeds, to love and to care for those whom we are close to and are part of our primary social group, our community, such as children, parents, other family members and friends. And to treat others with the same set of values, the same way we wish to be treated (www.venusproject.com/ecs/definition_family_values_.html) I don’t expect everyone to live the way I do, I respect each person to have their own rights and beliefs. What I do expect is for everyone to have the same rights, whether they are gay, straight, Catholic, Protestant, or Atheist.

Not too long ago many other sub-groups in our society had to fight for fundamental rights. The 13th Amendment to the Constitution declared that "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude...shall exist within the United States." Formally abolishing slavery in the United States, the 13th Amendment was passed by the Congress on January 31, 1865, and ratified by the states on December 6, 1865. Although it wasn’t until the civil rights movement that started in the 1950’s that many of the segregation laws finally passed and enforced. With the bravery of a few African-Americans such as a high school student Linda Brown in Topeka, Kansas who wanted a better education, Martin Luther King who urged those that protested and were met with violence to resist in a non-violent way, and Rosa Parks who’s only crime was sitting in the wrong seat on the public bus, civil injustices were brought to the forefront of American society.

The 15th Amendment to the Constitution granted African American men the right to vote by declaring that the "right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude." Although ratified on February 3, 1870, the promise of the 15th Amendment would not be fully realized for almost a century. Through the use of poll taxes, literacy tests and other means, Southern states were able to effectively disenfranchise African Americans. It would take the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 before the majority of African Americans in the South were registered to vote.

In 1776, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband John, "In the new code of laws, remember the ladies and do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands."1 John Adams replied, "I cannot but laugh. Depend upon it, we know better than to repeal our masculine systems." http://www.equalrightsamendment.org/era.htm) The first visible demand for the right for women to vote was in 1848 in Seneca, New York. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott convened a two day rally that brought together 300 women and men to call for equality for women who were systematically denied rights and privileges that are part of being an American citizen. In 1872, Susan B. Anthony went to the polls to vote under the 15th Amendment of the United States Constitution, she was arrested, tried, found guilty and fined. It took 15 more years and the bravery of many more women, Alice Paul and Lucy Burns being two of them to face the “majority” to make changes for what was seen as a minority, that minority being women. The Nineteenth Amendment was specifically intended to extend suffrage to women. It was proposed on June 4, 1919, and ratified on August 18, 1920.

The Equal Protection Clause in the 14th Amendment was purposefully thought out and drafted to provide protection for the equal rights of all persons. Marriage and having children are integral to one's status, social self-concept, and legal responsibilities. These are also viewed as the most intimate of personal decisions, ones in which the state should have little or no involvement. As early as the 1920s, the Supreme Court had begun to define areas of family responsibility and choice immune from state interference. It nullifies and makes void all State legislation, and State action of every kind, which impairs the privileges and immunities of citizens of the United States, or which injures them in life, liberty, or property without due process of law, or which denies to any of them the equal protection of the laws. If this is so, why are so many states now passing laws that state marriage is only between a man and a woman, even though many of these states previously stated in their individual constitution that marriage is a contract that can be entered into by two consenting adults. It seems to me that states are contradicting their own constitution.

What makes gays and lesbians any less of an American citizen is what I am asking the hopeful state and national officials? I was born and raised here in the heartland of America. I have been working since I was 16, paying taxes, and following the laws of this great nation. I have been with the same person, who I deeply care for, for over 6 years. In that time we have been raising four children, teaching them acceptance of people of all races and beliefs, teaching them to forgive those who treat them badly, and how to deal with the prejudice that we all have faced. Since neither our state nor our country recognizes our relationship we have had to do many things to protect what we have gained in our relationship. I am not aware of any “legally” married couple that has had to fill out the paperwork that we have had to in order to function as a couple. Does any married couple have to fill out paperwork stating that 1) they can see each other in ICU, 2) they can determine how to take care of bodily remains after death, or 3) they can take care of each others children? Why should it be that a heterosexual couple, only married for a month, be able to get family health insurance and same sex couple that has been together for 6 years (such as my partner & I) have to pay for separate insurance?

I am not asking that every one accept what we have, but I would like the same respect that I give to those around me. What makes our family so wrong? We function the same way that the mainstream does. We get up in the morning, have the same “But I don’t want to get out of bed and go to school” moments, go to work, come home, cook supper and eat together around the same table (well some nights if there is no afterschool functions or meetings to go to), and say our good nights to each other. If you – hopeful gubernatorial elect or hopeful senator or representative – are so pro-family and family values – why won’t you fight for equal rights for all families instead of making more barriers for us? To sum everything up I think John Kerry said it best in his 2004 acceptance speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention “it is time for those who talk about family values to start valuing families."

[Doodler71]

1. K&R - wonderful post

:dem:

[csziggy]

2. Great post - very nice