Anti-Gay epithats---We have a long way to go

[cally]

Too often it's acceptable for students to use "It's so Gay" as a taunt. I've heard it from several teens in many circumstances. On the other hand, I hear so many teens who are outraged by such comments. These teens speak out and stand up for what's right.

I'm bringing this up because of a personal experience. As many know, I live in a liberal community. At the middle school play, a boy and girl kissed for a loooong time. I attended the adult performance. I heard that at the school performance, the 8th graders started making snide comments and acting like morons. Then the taunt started, "I don't believe in gay marriage." I find out that this poor actor is being taunted because some think he's gay and he's kissing a girl. :argh: I'm still in shock that this happened here.

I don't know how the school handled this. I do know the drama teacher will handle this well. He knows kids and gives his heart and soul to all. He is adamantly liberal and compassionate.

So, what can we all do to help in our communities?

[NMDemDist2]

1. the "that's so gay" comes from South Park I believe

and we all know Cartman is a Nazi, but you're right

[Fenris]

8. Started LOOOONG before then

I weened myself off of that term before I was out of high school. It was used by my classmates as a word for something lame. Never really associated it with homosexuality in my mind. Once I realized it was insulting to homosexuals, I began using "asinine" or, in a very Cartman way, "weak".

That being said, I think there are those who use it as an insult to gays. Lots of people. But I think that there are those who use it as an all-purpose word for that which they find lame.

[slinkerwink]

19. it doesn't mean that word is right to use anyway

[LARED]

2. At least in my local school system

being or acting "gay" means something along the lines of you are being a doofus.

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[cally]

4. What???

Is that supposed to be funny???

[AntiCoup2K4]

5. Richard says...

[dsc]

6. It is an odd mix

I work in schools serving all ages and it really is strange. Some days I see immense progress and others I see things like you describe. I think middle school is the worst though. It is such a hard age. Hope that situation is handled well.

[dsc]

7. that poor kid

I have to expand my response a bit. There really aren't a lot of good options at this point. The bell has been rung. No amount of punishment of those kids will fix the problem for the actor. All that can be done now is prevention of it happening to another kid. I hope the ringleaders get suspended for the rest of the year. That would send a clear message.

[BiggJawn]

9. "Queer" used to be a "bad word". Now it's "Mainstream"

What were once epithets are now "Pride" words.

Too confusing for me to render an opinion on.

As I recall from personal experience so many years ago, 8th-graders have their heads up their asses. I did.

[dsc]

10. I still have problems with queer

Just too many times hearing that while being pummled as a kid I guess.

[BiggJawn]

13. I know what you're saying.

I was taught that it's an insult and a hate-word.

I don't buy this "owning the insult" thing. It's just like Rappers being able to use the "En-Word", but midwest farmers aren't supposed to. It's divisive.

[TexasMexican]

11. meh I believe in freedom of speech.

and I call things gay from time to time.

[Cheswick2.0]

14. I beleive in free speech too ... sometimes when something is very lame

I refer to it as TexMex.
Hey don't take it personally. It's just a convenient insult. It's kind of like saying something is cheep and cheesy.

[Misunderestimator]

17. LOL... you beat me to it.

[dsc]

15. I think the poster's larger point was the play

not the "It's gay" thing. That is the large problem with the school.

[cally]

22. My larger point

was that we allow a culture where anti-gay epithets are allowed and acceptable. This creates an environment where some take it to calling an actor gay as an insult. Gay becomes the catchall insult.

I do know that the fellow cast members were outraged and cast shame on the taunters as immature. Fortunately, these students have enough influence in the school that their sense of outrage made a difference. I've heard that the actor who was taunted seems fine because he got so much support.

[dsc]

25. I hope he is

I know I would have been very upset had it been me. I still remember giving some 6th grader a week of detention for pulling a similar stunt at an orientation, though at least he waited until the kid was out of ear shot. Middle school is tough enough without that kind of crap.

[cheezus]

23. did you get "Jewed" at the bank?

Are you "nigger-rich" now that you got your paycheck?

It's America - you can say whatever you'd like. Doesn't mean you should or that you're not a bigot if you do.

[Sapphocrat]

36. So it wouldn't bother you...

...if someone were to use the phrase "That's so Mexican!" as a put-down?

I hope you find the idea of such usage offensive and wrongheaded. And then I hope you will kindly listen when you are told by members of a minority group that the words you use are offensive to them.

As I have repeated, ad nauseam, on DU: It does not matter if you do not perceive the offense in your own words; if you are told that your words are offensive, then your words are offensive.

You can have all the freedom of speech the Constitution allows. You also have the freedom to call black people the N-word, if you so desire, or call Vietnamese people the G-word. It is, indeed, your prerogative.

In fact, you have the right to offend anyone you want. Just don't be surprised someday when you get back exactly what you give. You won't like it.

"That's so gay" as a put-down is offensive. I request that you stop using it as such.

The rest is up to you.

[galadrium]

12. What about the word "ghey"? I see that on the net alot.

Does not really bother me, although I am not gay. Seems like the meaning of the word is changing from a derogatory term for homosexuals. Most of the people who use the work "ghey" arent homophobic.

[Cheswick2.0]

16. Middle school Feh!

I love the kids, but what they are saying is unacceptable. Their labling someone is unacceptable. They need to be told they are acting like evil little savages. They'll get over it.

[dsc]

18. middle school is tough

Everywhere they behave like evil little savages. Even the really good ones can't be totally trusted. They are the hardest group to work with by far IMO.

[outinforce]

21. "Evil Little Savages"??

If someone is "evil", I have no problem calling them that.

I do have a bit of a problem calling someone "little". It's a put-down to most people -- even kids.

But I have a BIG problem with calling anyone a "savage".

It is what the colonists called the indiginous people wherever they went. Amercians used to call Native Americans and people living in Africa "savages".

[sangh0]

27. Selective outrage

"savage" is a problem, but not a word about the "It's so gay" comment that this thread is about.

[outinforce]

34. Speaking Of Outrage

I notice that your outrage is directed at me.

I also notice that you, too, write "not a word" in your post about the "it's so gay" comment that this thread is about.

I also note tht we were discussing something else somewhere else.

It's your turn.

[dsc]

31. You have a point

though I must say try subbing in one for a while and you might see my point. Though I shouldn't have used that word.

[NewJeffCT]

20. disappointing, but it's middle school

If a child in that age range does anything unusual, they will be singled out for ridicule. It doesn't matter if it is kissing a member of the opposite sex or the same sex, dressing in not quite the right style of the week, being too thin or fat or tall or short, etc.

Unfortunately, they used "gay", but 30 years ago, it might have been "you're such a fag" or "...faggot".

[cheezus]

24. you know the school wouldn't let kids call people niggers or towel-heads

[theboss]

29. And the shouldn't let them call someone gay either

I think the school should step in and stop this in the schools.

Unfortunately, I don't know how you stop a middle-school aged kid from being a jerk outside of school.

I was a kid once too. I said it all, "Gay." "Fag." "Butt-Pirate." We did the thing were if someone you didn't like touched you, you had to get a "shot" to get rid of the AIDS he/she gave you.

It's being a kid. Most of them will out-grow it. Some won't. Welcome to America.

[NewJeffCT]

30. gay is different than 'nigger' or 'towel head'

'Towel Head' or 'Nigger' are not acceptable in regular conversation or in the mainstream media. While the way the students used the word 'Gay' is bad, 'Gay' is a word that you can use in regular conversation, or on the nightly news, and not cause offense. Many headlines in recent months have been about "gay marriage" and that seems perfectly acceptable in the news. (I don't watch Fox, so I don't know if they call it something different.) When the Supreme Court outlawed bans on interracial marriage, I am guessing that the mainstream news headlines were not about "nigger marriage"

[redqueen]

26. FCOL

You expect anti-gay slurs to stop?

Are you for real?

Do you not realize anti-woman slurs are defended here?

:nuke:

[AgentLadyBug]

28. ignorance is to be combatted..... it's true.....

we can start, i suppose, by spelling "epithet" correctly.... blind leading the blind rarely gets very far......

(a) teens, especially teen boys, are moronic by nature - this can be attentuated somewhat, especially with good and strong parenting, but it'll prolly always be the main current of teen-hood. there's just too much going on during those years to expect the teen to be graceful about it (again, imo)...

(b) imo, it's the parents who are the root problem/solution wrt bigotry, and intellect more generally. if you want to help somehow, i suggest looking there...

[dsc]

32. wow

after reading your post, with probably mispelled and no capitalized I's I have to wonder what is next. A Limbaugh lecture on sobriety.

[cally]

33. You made your point

I doubt it's the one you planned, though.

[AgentLadyBug]

35. lol /eom