What do you say to someone with a loved one going or in Iraq?

[kerryin2004]

I ran into this problem today with a woman who has a husband going over there.. I was really stumped...I don't want to say anything either way because it may be taken wrong.. Whether it is good luck or I'm sorry to hear that. So what do you do when you run into someone like this?



This just makes me so fucking mad that Bush invaded Iraq..If he was going to Afghanistan I could say good luck to him, he is doing a great thing to protect America, but I really don't think that Iraq is a war that wil protect us..

[Lefta Dissenter]

1. The people I know with kids in Iraq

are against the war, so I've said, "I'm really, REALLY sorry, and if there's anything I can do..." That sort of thing. :(

edited to say that it's not like it hasn't occurred to them to be upset or worried, so I don't see how it can be taken wrong... but some others may disagree with me (as usual)

[kerryin2004]

5. Unfortunately some of them believe in Bush an the Iraq war..

As scary as this may seem there is a contingency that believes in Bush, and the fact that I openly support Kerry can make whatever I say sound negative..I personally diverted the conversation to the fact that I don't like Temple, TX which is where she is going to move to because her husband is stationed at Ft. Hood..It was a real dilemma because I respect the sacrifice that they are making in serving, but I happen to disagree with the way Bush has pursued this war in Iraq.

[michaelzef]

2. you say

good luck and God bless.

[FlemingsGhost]

3. Don't say anything.

Give them a map of Canada.

[Skittles]

4. offer to send care packages

that's what I do

[tedoll78]

6. Bingo!

Candy, toiletries, sunscreen, vitamins, etc..

[Skittles]

9. beef jerky and rice krispie treats are my specialty

and those youngsters absolutely CRAVE new music.

[stellanoir]

7. All I can think of in such a sorry situation is

"Fee Aman Allah." It's Arabic for "May you stay in God's safety."
Might just come in handy. PM me if you want a link to other Arabic expressions. They are essential.

[proud patriot]

8. "I promise to do all I can to help him come home safe and sound"

[Rebel_with_a_cause]

10. Just say, "Tell him to 'stay safe' for me"

Then tell her that if she needs any help with things around the house during the deployment to give you a call.

[Cerridwen]

11. Another suggestion

A former boyfriend of mine was re-activated and will be going to Iraq in mid to late January. He's currently training at Ft. Bliss in TX.

When I heard he'd be going; we hadn't spoken in months; I sent him an email; "I heard you were called up...etc. Good luck. Stay safe. I'll keep you in my prayers."

A few weeks later he called. He talked. I listened. I don't agree with about 95% of what he says, but I listen because he needs to talk.

He's called a few times since. He talks. I listen. Or I tell him about inane things from my day. Mostly, I listen.

If you're close enough to her and want to; how about offering up a phone number in case she wants to talk. Or offer to call her to check in with her.

But don't offer if you don't mean it. Then call. And listen.

Just my thoughts on it.

[kerryin2004]

12. I was at a Pep Boys within a Freeper area..

They saw my Kerry bumpersticker and the two guys at the service counter started talking about the Iraqi soccer team, etc.etc.How great to give the Iraqi's their freedom. I made it clear to them that we diverted our attention from Afghanistan to go into Iraq and I disagreed with it.I am not sure whether she overheard me but when I went to the sales counter she saw that I was from Texas and mentioned she was moving down there..I asked where and she said Temple Tx.. I said why would you move there? It is a little hole in the wall small town.. She then told me that her husband was at Ft' Hood which is North of Temple, I think, and he is getting ready to be deployed to Iraq..Anyways when she said that I was stumped because really this is the first time I had met someone with a loved one going to Iraq..

[Cerridwen]

17. Oof. Tough one.

My best guess would be what many here have been saying,

"know our prayers go with you and yours" or something to that affect.

Amazing and wonderful isn't it? We try so hard to be kind even after others have been less than kind to us.

Thanks for even making the effort. That's the U.S. I remember and love.

As they used to say, "keep the faith" - whatever yours is, if any.

P.S. Sorry I took so long to respond. I was watching "Going Up River"

[LizW]

13. My friend's husband has been over there almost a year

She has been taking care of their 6 year old daughter by herself.

I don't say anything except to express my hopes for his safety, and to ask if there's anything they need. My friend is making a huge sacrifice, and not by any choice of her own. I see no need to burden her with my feelings about the war. I just keep hoping that he comes back safe and in one piece and not too changed by the experience.

[Eloriel]

14. Ask: How do you feel about that?

Then they can talk, and you don't have to do anything but nod sympathetically.

[shockingelk]

15. Welcome them to the club.

My 48 year old cousin got called up from the Guard to drive a humvee in Iraq for 18-24 months. Gets there in January.

[skygazer]

16. I agree we shouldn't be in Iraq

But we are and her husband is going into a war zone. I would say, "My best wishes are with you both for his safe return. If there's any way I can be of help to either of you, let me know."

You don't have to support the war to be supportive of those who are fighting it. And their families.