Presidential Inauguration: list of prohibited items

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_17146.shtml

Prohibited Items

Firearms, weapons of any kind, ammunition (either real or simulated), explosives of any kind (including fireworks), knives, blades, or sharp objects (of any length), aerosol sprays, coolers, thermal or glass containers, mace, pepper spray, sticks, poles, pocket or hand tools (such as a leatherman), packages, backpacks, large bags, duffel bags, suitcases, laser pointers, posters, signs, placards (including supports structures), animals other than guide dogs or service dogs assisting handicapped individuals, strollers, chairs, umbrellas, alcoholic beverages, and any other items at the discretion of the security screeners that may pose a potential safety hazard.

[LisaLynne]

1. Also prohibited:

critical thinking, a functioning brain ...

Hey, it's the only way to make sure there are nothing but * supporters there!

[PurityOfEssence]

6. Beat me to it.

a brain, any scruples, decency, morality, circumspection, tolerance...

Suggested dress: white tie and jackboots.

[Dangerman]

18. Amen to that

[signmike]

2. a copy of the Bill of Rights, . . .

[jeff30997]

3. Why don't they tell peoples to come naked ?

It would be easier don't you think ?

[rzemanfl]

4. Plus, they'd be ready for the "rapture" if it happened.

I am sure there will be a lot of those types there.

[nodictators]

7. I wish THEY were all Raptured out of here. The sooner the better

Our Country and our World would be much better off!

[alexisfree]

8. My husband want the 4 horseman of the apocilysis to make their appearance

[KitchenWitch]

21. alas the horses are prohibited!

[rzemanfl]

25. Me too. I am willing to take my chances with all those

"unoccupied" cars.

[Benhurst]

5. Gosh, ain't freedom great! NT

[madison2000]

9. Do they have to wear clothes with velcro closures? n/t

[alexisfree]

10. ahh yes the $5 laser pointer...the ones that can bring down a jet...give a

break...These guys are idiots..They should put down on things not to bring the constitution, bill of rights.

[karlrschneider]

11. delete

[Melynn]

12. Here is the real list.

This is what is banned at the "Bush inauguration". The truth.

Oh yes, and Democrats with a spine and back bone. They won't be within one hundred mile of the "Bush inauguration".

[grasswire]

13. no prohibition on drugs?

But signs? I guess that footage from 2000 with all those anti-Bush messages was too scary.

I wonder if it is unconstitutional to forbid signs on paper or cloth.

[DrWeird]

14. crosses...

garlic, stake, silver...

[KitchenWitch]

22. mirrors

[sweetheart]

15. They left out ballistic missiles

Also they left out radioactive waste, and biological organisms. Imagine
a truly dedicated person could simply walk about spreading a deadly
highly contageous biological weapon from the US arsenal and kill the
lot of them.

Gosh, what else did they leave out, cameras, video cameras, large
chunks of stone, terror tomatos, terror potatos, terror apples and
terror rotten avocados.

[Ilsa]

16. I guess eggs and rotting fruit are okay?

Boiling the eggs helps pass them off as food, but they become more dangerous that way, though.

[sweetheart]

17. probably biocultures

Likely they'll ban all fruit and vegetables as terror fruit.

Funnily, probably the worst weapon you can bring is the "flu" as surely
someone will catch it there and die from it.

[Rapcw]

19. They left out clothes.

cuz you know, someone could wear a suit made of plastic explosive or something.
:eyes:

[Swamp Rat]

20. Here's the schedule according to the Ironic Times:

Inaugural Schedule

6-9 AM: Citizens along the parade route are interrogated and strip searched.
10 AM: Attorney General John Ashcroft leads the Abu Ghraib Tabernacle Choir in “Onward Christian Soldiers.”
10:30 AM: Colin Powell interrogated and strip searched.
11 AM: All Iraqi election officials granted asylum, interrogated and strip searched.
Noon: Dick Cheney sworn in, exorcised.
1 PM: Grand jury investigating Tom DeLay sent to Guantanamo for questioning.
2 PM: U.S. Poet Laureate reads “Oh Captain, My Captain,” specially rewritten as a tribute to Ken Lay.
3 PM: The “Getting Tough on Corporate Crime” float, featuring Martha Stewart in stocks, passes reviewing stand.
4 PM: Bush takes oath, gives speech, “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do to You, When the Only Thing You Have to Fear is Your Country, Itself.”
5-Midnight: Pharmaceutical Industry Soiree, Energy Industry Banquet, Insurance Companies Gala, U. S. Chamber of Commerce Bacchanal.

http://www.ironictimes.com/0227-p3.html

:D

[dflprincess]

23. No alcoholic beverages?

Shrub may not even show up.

[Rex]

24. They are doing this because they KNOW the election was a sham

Kim Jung Il probably had the same list when he took over for daddy.