Let's talk children...how do we get the parents?

[cally]

This has been the biggest problem I have with Dems. We don't get parents. I've been on DU for awhile and I've survived many a flame war. Here's the provacative statement...I think I deserve to know, and have the ability to block, what my children are watching or clicking on the Internet. I believe in ratings, I believe in blocking sites, and I believe in blocking some adds and informmation from the family hour.

A bit of background...my kids were allowed very little TV when young. So, they were watching a show that I accepted and along came an ad. It was a promo for the local news. It was about a local case where someone was accused of anal rape. My four year old daughter asked me to explain anal rape. That's when I absolutely knew I was not going to accept the LW standard that all restictions on the media was I get that parents are supposed to protect their kids and um....we don't deserve any government protection.

My kids are older now. But I still need to know. I want an ability,as a parent, to restrict what my kids watch. The argument that you can just turn off the TV, block the internet, just is so insane. You can't protect your kids from it all. What you need to do is teach them how to handle the onslaught and how to judge.

[TahitiNut]

1. OK, let's talk children.

Would it be better to be a parent in Falluja or Basra and having to answer questions about the dead bodies in the street?
Would it be better to be a parent in Bangladesh or North Korea and having to answer questions about where their next meal is coming from?
Would it be better to be a parent in Sub-Saharan Africa and having to answer questions about why they have AIDS?

Heaven forbid we have to deal with those horrible things on TV! (Good thing we don't have smellovision.)

Hey! I have an idea! Let's all take up residence in Disney World! Let's have them filter everything. The cold, cruel world is something no child should ever learn to deal with. Adults shouldn't either. :shrug:

In the meantime, let's fill their heads with really useful "facts" about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and how wonderful it would be to marry a Prince! That'll REALLY come in handy!

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[seabeyond]

6. like the post you just responded too

lmao lordy.

[cally]

9. I don't understand what your post means

Please explain

[seabeyond]

11. post three

i had just gone saying this subject doesnt fly on this board, you get replies like the one you just replied too

[TahitiNut]

8. (Tsk, tsk) Would you let your children hear you say that?

:eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

[cally]

14. I have teens now

They would both laugh and say, "Go Mom!"

That's a very weak defense.

[bush_is_wacko]

25. OK, this isn't very nice at all and I'm a parent so let me try to answer

I understand your concerns, at least a little bit. I know you want to protect your kids, but they are going to hear this anyway. My policy with my kids to is explain it all so they can understand it.

My husband was raised in that protective environment. Kept from the truth all of his life, basically. His parents neglected to explain things that I had to explain to him MANY years later. He was terrified when my doctor mentioned hysterectomy! Thought I was dying!

I grew up having my mom and her sister discuss BJ's at the dinner table. Not when I was little but as I got older. This didn't make me promiscuous or anything, in fact, just the opposite. I knew what the consequences to ALL my actions could be.

The fact of the matter is, if you have kids you probably ought to at some point let them know what those bad guys might want to do to them. I have had to explain this to my son. It wasn't pretty, but it IS what the bad guys want to do to the kids they kidnap! IMO, it will make him fight THAT much harder if a bad guy ever tries. He is not little little anymore, but he's still little enough to be a possible target for the bad guys.

[cally]

30. You really don't get it

My kids have been allowed to watch movies and go to plays that most of their peers were not allowed to see. The key is that we were there to discuss it and answer questions. I just want the ability to take responsibility and have the knowledge to do so.

Ok..I'll offer another real life experience. We were in NY and buying half priced tickets. Both my kids are into Drama. A person came up and offered tickets and we asked about the play. My kids were 10 and 7. They promised it was family friendly. I asked several times about violence, sexuality, etc, etc. Well, it just wasn't appropriate for kids my age. My husband and I decided we would have cemented the jokes in their mind if we took them and left. They didn't get much of the humor.

Years later, my child was 14 and I was buying ticket for a play. The manager said, "you need to know about this play. A man gets shot, a man walks out in a slip, and are you OK with your daughter seeing that?" I asked my daughter if she was OK with a man being killed onstage...pretend. She said she was and we both enjoyed the play. The difference is that I as a parent was allowed a decision for the second play. The first time I was lied to and that's not right. The second time we chose something both of us could enjoy., The whole point is that I allowed it and I was responsible. All I ask is that parents get to decide. If we are responsible for our kids then we need the tools to do that. Parents need to know what's in the movie, what's in the video or television show, or in the music.

[bush_is_wacko]

35. Personally, I use the rating system now in place for TV. I have bought

edited CD's for my son. He likes Eminem and I do to, just can't stand his language. I have to admit though. We don't watch MUCH of the crap on TV. It sucks! I've never really been offended or embarrassed by anything I've run across with my kids in attendance, so no, I don't get it, I guess.

If I have questions about something like "The Passion of The Christ" I see it first w/ my husband. I didn't happen to think my son 11 was old enough to see it and not be FOREVER haunted and unable to understand it. Daughter 15, perfectly capable of realizing that was probably fairly accurate to what the Bible describes, haunted the same way I was haunted by it, but not permanently damaged by it. Same thing with Schindlers list. I would allow my son to watch that movie now, he is old enough and knows the history enough to again NOT think there were Nazi's lurking around every corner and be afraid to live in a world that allowed that to happen. Daughter saw it a while ago.

As for plays. I ALWAYS go and see them first. Theater has always been a little iffy in my mind. I can't remember anything that I saw that I wouldn't allow my kids to see. I'm not really interested in things like that anyway.

Be there, I guess is what I would tell parents. Too many aren't there and I don't know how to change that.

It is very hard to please everyone. You need to understand that some parents would take offense to Harry Potter and others won't be offended by hard core porn. I'm not letting my kids watch the latter but I think it is over the top to think Harry Potter is gonna cause a kid to become a witch or warlock.

I don't mind rating them as a guide, but they already do that. When you start to advocate anything more the nut cases are going to demand complete and total control. You may have a different set of standards than I do and I may have a different set of standards than my neighbor. How can you adjust all those different set of standards?

[Valerie5555]

47. How about being a parent or grandparent during the Clinton era and having

to explain ORAL SEX thanks to KENNY "THE GEEK" STARR, HENRY HIDE et al.


Am sure being the "ooh la la" therapists they are Dr Ruth Westheimer and Sue Johanson were able to play it cool when their grandkids no doubt asked them about that.

[TahitiNut]

48. Well, at the risk of venomous vituperation for expressing my opinion ...

... I think we're culturally psychotic when it comes to children. I think we most often confront our own phobias, neuroses, and mythologies instead of anything substantive about the child. In doing so, we contaminate the next generation. Let me try to be clearer. In my opinion, very few of us cope well emotionally with the "cold, cruel world." We try to realize (make real, create) some "ideal" (sexless, warm fuzzy, all fun, no work, "safe") world and inhabit it with our children - our avatars in a virtual (but not virtuous) reality.

"Neurotics build castles in the sky; psychotics live in them."
In the matter at hand, it's not a "castle in the sky" as much as it's an artificial womb within a womb within a womb within a womb - into which the 'world' intrudes. We live in the 'womb' of a home (we worked hard for) located in a 'womb' of a neighborhood (we worked hard for) located in an area 'womb' located in a national 'womb' (which we 'defend' with the mightiest military and mightiest father figure we can construct) into which the 'toxins' of the real world intrude. How dare they!?!?!

We've created a "Jon Benet Ramsey World" of dress-up and artifice - for our own emotional escapism. We exploit children's organized activities for our own amusement - the adult version of playing with dolls in a fictional, truth-free "world."

I think we're scared - paranoid - terrified. I think about 95% of us, deep down, see what people "next door" have to deal with and have absolutely no confidence that we ourselves could even survive the same conditions, let alone overcome or thrive. Many of us are in self-denial - finding it more "convenient to avoid such fears than to deal with them. Maybe 5% of us have had life experiences that tell us otherwise.

I think a large part of our own emotional inability to deal with such "realities" is a result of the same kind of cultural upbringing we experienced as children. It's generational - we fail to nurture the emotional coping skills we ourselves lack. Our children inherit our psychoses.

That's a very brief description of the problem as I see it. It'd probably take 100 times more space for me to adequately describe it - even if I had sufficient training and skills to do so. (I don't.)

The "solution" is even more difficult to describe. I think it's based on some (for me) bedrock principles, however. One of those principles is Truthfulness. Another is Love and Respect. I don't believe we show our children Love and Respect when we lie to them - or pretend that the world doesn't contain as many horrors as wonders. I don't believe we show our children Love and Respect when we pretend that we always "know best." Television is 90% lies. Lies, however, can be a perverted reflection of the truth. I don't think television is, itself, the "problem." I think the "problem" is its substitution for direct experience with "reality." If we all had as much or more daily and direct interaction with the "real world" as we have daily non-interaction with the boob tube, we'd be just fine. So would our kids.

I don't think mythos is necessarily either a vessel for the Truth or a Falsehood. It can be either. It should not, however, be substituted for logos.

Well, that's enough for this post. Fractured. Fruitless. I doubt I have a snowball's chance in Hell of changing a single mind in such an emotionally-charged area. The mere subject of "children" fuels the narcotic of self-righteousness in most people, giving us license to attack in the most vicious ways. So has it been and will be. Criticism of parenting is even more ubiquitously taboo than sex or religion.

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[seabeyond]

3. animal channel buick commercial with naked girl in car

why?????????

you wont get anything with this. in the year i have been here, whenever i talk about my kids right to not get sex sex sex at age 5 people call me a prude, fundie or get over it, kid needs to learn this stuff at 5, the real world. or

dont mess with what i am being given, adult world all the time even on the kid channels, i have to assume

but

what about the parents. you are right. i live in an area where parents are just tired, would like a little help, no help coming forth from this crowd. though i know edwards is bothered. he said something in the campaign. then again he has little kids watching viagra commercial and hard ons for four hours

[bush_is_wacko]

39. Give your kids role models that you want them to respect...

I totally agree with you about the naked girl in car. Brittany Spears, Madonna, Paris Hilton.... i discuss these people with both my son and my daughter. They both realize how wrong it is to sell yourself by being "sexy." They have different role models that that. My daughter wants to be JK Rowlings or Janet Evonovich! My son really doesn't have a TV land or Hollywood role model either, he wants to be his dad.

I guess I sort of feel like if a parent is there and the kids KNOW your values, and interact with the things you are doing, you instill in them a non-spoken sense of what they should aspire to be or do.

It's more about being the type of parent that supports your children than it is about what they view on television. They get their values from you mostly. Even as a teenager my daughter is VERY conservative for being raised "liberal." she's actually more conservative than I am. She is a brainiac and I have ALWAYS encouraged her to be that way.

My son is just your average 11 year old kid. he doesn't worship sports heroes, but he does PLAY sports. He doesn't think Paris Hilton is sexy, he thinks she's sleazy. My kids just don't choose that route. I have told them my views on those type of people and that seems to be enough.

BTW, my daughter is the one that notices those commercials with scantily clad women and gets huffy over them. I just ignore them anymore or more than likely I don't even see most of them cause the tube isn't on.

[seabeyond]

45. good points you make on all of it

i use to be a lot more bothered than i am now. (my niece came in and told me there is a commercial you wont like. she recognized and came to tell me, i didnt see it. 12, it is good she sees what is up) and it isnt my children i am bothered for. what i have learned with my kids, when i see something that bothers me i have always explained to them why. and generally was about making someone less. we have always been aware of that

what i have found over time, how brilliant the children have become on their own. if we didnt have all this crap for them to learn from, they wouldnt have had this opportunity to wow, blow me away in their own abilities. a higher in all things if we chose. helps them to recognize sexism at such a young age. feed and culting children to be stupid. they hate the anger and violence shows. they are young, 7 and 9

you are just on what you say

and to your daughter good for her. she recognizes what they are doing to women, and she doesnt buy into it. she will demand and expect respect, and............she will get it. nothing else is good enough

you are right, it is the spending the time with the child. not worried about my kid, nor any kid that parents connect with child. it is all the kids that dont get that parenting to help balance what they are being fed. but then they are probably going to have other crosses to bear along with it

on edit, lol and we dont watch much tv at all. kids getting into the oldie shows, you know when we were kids. mcquiver, happy days, bewitch ect....

[bush_is_wacko]

51. Sadly, we have no way to make sure OTHER kids get the kind of parenting

they need to have. I have had some pretty deep discussions with my kids over this. I have a cousin who just doesn't seem to give a crap about his kids. His ex wife is the same way. FORTUNATELY they both remarried people that ACTUALLY do care about their kids and have taken the time to make up for some of the bad parenting skills these kids REAL parents had over the years. both the kids are doing a little better with that kind of affection, attention, and parenting, but my kids have BOTH noticed the whole interplay. Truly they are appalled that someone OTHER than a parent can be a better parent to a kid. They feel sorry for their second cousins.

My house is kind of the safe hangout for a lot of kids. I don't mind it being that way at all, but I often wonder how we got so terrible at being parents when i talk to these kids. One of my daughters friends (freshman in HS) has a BLEEDING ulcer and has become anemic from it. She was vomiting at school last week and her mother REFUSED to come pick her up from school. What the heck kind of parent is that? this little girl is the nicest sweetest thing I have ever had the pleasure to run across, but her own parents are too wrapped up in their own lives to give her the subtle hints in life that make your kid realize you love her.

I was OUTRAGED at this mother. And BTW, when I drove her home the other day because it was dark and her parents expected her to walk the few blocks home, her mother saw the Democratic Underground sticker on my car and said "She's a DEMOCRAT?" when the little girl came through the door. What the hell does my political standing have to do with the way I raise my kids or how worthy I am to interact with THAT womans child? So far her mom hasn't FORBID her to come here, but believe me, I'm waiting. This girls brother was arrested for stealing Kerry signs right before the election, so I'm sure I am not one of this family's favorite mothers. The little girl is a Democrat BTW. or at least she would be if she was old enough to vote! Her family calls her the nutty liberal!

[SmokingJacket]

5. Actually it's easy to turn off the television.

Don't buy one. Easy!

But I'm not sure I get your point. Most Dems don't have a problem with parental filters, do they? And I think pretty much everyone would agree it's important to teach kids to judge on their own.

My kids don't watch TV but we do listen to NPR sometimes, and that's been bad enough. Try explaining Terri Schiavo to a four year old! Frankly, I don't think filters can possibly work. I'd rather my kid hear the word "fuck" than hear about suicide bombers.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

7. When I was a kid and asked questions like that, my parents and other

adults, simply gave a "sanitized" answer.

For example, when we were learning the Ten Commandments in third grade Sunday School, I asked my Sunday School teacher what adultery was. She said that it was having a love affair with someone else's husband or wife. At the age of eight, I imagined kissing, but the answer was not inaccurate. Yet it was age appropriate.

When my youngest brother was six or seven, he asked if birth control meant killing babies. No, my dad said, it meant just not having them in the first place. That was all the answer he needed.

i'm not sure how I'd answer questions about anal rape (a nasty type of violence that some grownups do to each other?), but you have to wonder about a news station that would advertise such a story in its promos, instead of something that was actually important, like what the state and local government were up to. That's what I'd say if I were complaining to the station.

[H2O Man]

10. I have two thoughts

that I have tried to keep in mind: <1> The purpose of disciplining my children should be to teach self-discipline; and <2> I try to teach my children to think for themselves, and to act for others.

[Bouncy Ball]

12. I was pretty confused as to what this was about until

the very end.

Well, um, we don't watch local news. Or really ANY news on TV. So that eliminates that problem (we get all our news from internet and print sources).

For all the shows on TV, I stay up on content and have no problem saying "no, we're not going to watch that." I've said it many times and my daughter says "ok" and finds something she knows she's allowed to watch. It also helps that none of us watch that much TV to begin with!

We watch movies together, read reviews in advance, so that's no problem.

As for the internet, she has her own computer, in the same room with the other two and if she's on, we're in here, monitoring her use. We have a couple of firewall systems that block out objectionable content on her computer, so that helps, but we also watch carefully.

What's so frigging hard about that? It really doesn't take a whole lot of effort or time to do what I just described.

And yeah, of course SOME stuff is going to get through (albeit very little). So what? Your kid could HEAR someone in person say something you'd have to explain, that's happened to parents for time out of mind.

[cally]

13. I ask one question?

How old are your kids?

My example was when my child was 4.

My kids are now teens and I agree that they need to learn to monitor news. There is no way ever that I should have to let my kid watch a cartoon approved by me and they see a news promo about anal sex. No way could I have monitored that or predicted that.

This is all about giving parents the tools to raise their kids. I think this is why so many dismiss the Dem party.

[Bookster]

17. We may be back to "nuance" again

I think the conservatives are able to sell a lot of people on the idea that the genie can be put back in the bottle. They offer up what sounds a lot like easy answers. "We'll shut down Hollywood and then everything will be Leave it Beaverville again." The Democrats can't really counter that with anything that sounds any where near as appealing.

[Telly Savalas]

28. Avoid commercial TV altogether then.

If they're not showing an ad for the Daily Exploitation Show (er...I mean local news) then they're running ads for sugar and chemical filled foods or crappy toys that the kids don't need. My kid just turned 3, but I don't our family expanding her viewing beyond Sesame Street on PBS or Blues Clues DVD's anytime soon.

[Bouncy Ball]

46. I highly doubt THIS is why so many

dismiss the Dem party, as you said (and remember, most Americans don't vote, PERIOD. That counts as a dismissal of BOTH parties, doesn't it?) After all, very few people want MORE restrictions on their lives.

But what about my child's age? She's 10 now. We've been doing this, in an age-appropriate fashion, since she could understand what's being said on TV.

[Bookster]

15. well...it IS tough...

There is a whole lot of stuff on "regular television" that's a lot more raw than what many/most thoughtful parents want their kids watching. At the same time I don't really trust the government to decide what my kid and/or I can or cannot watch.

Yes, it would be nice if we could be protected from a teaser for a news program that mentions anal sex but what else would be we "protected" from and what would they let through that I wouldn't want her to watch either (about how to be a "good American" or a "good Christian"...)

Restricting TV/Internet/candy/music/movies kind of works when they're little but then when they hit school they realize that everyone else doesn't live like this and it can all blow up in your face. It seems to be a fine line between teaching children healthy habits and creating in them a craving for "forbidden fruit" that drives them to the very thing you've been trying to protect them from.

[More Than A Feeling]

41. That happened to me

I was a very sheltered child, and so I had no idea what my peers were talking about when they would discuss the simpsons or whatever.

Now that I am older, I have to say, I am glad my parents did that to me. I wasn't missing much. Its so much more fun to be nostalgic for the 90's now than it would be if I had been completely plugged in to the pop culture scene.

[hippiegranny]

16. what do the DEMS have to do with this issue?

Democrats are not the ones creating the sickening violence in the world, the last I checked it was lying, greedy, theocratic neocons of all stripes and spots responsible for most of that.

I hear so much talk of parents being worried about SEX. They are obsessed with "what will I tell the kids when they ask about this or that?" Kids who are sheltered and/or are met with anxiety when the subject comes up tend to end up with some major sexual hang-ups as adults. Which perpetuates into the next fearful generation.

I do not understand the fear people have about matters of sexual nature on tv or wherever. The best way to prevent AIDS and teen pregnancies is to have an open, healthy and even joyful approach to the subject.

Many of the same people have no problem letting their kids watch things be blown up. Wierd priorities, IMHO.

Again,why is this neccessarily a DEM downfall? Because Hollywood is perceived to be liberal?

[cally]

18. The best way to prevent AIDS and teen pregnancies is to have an open, heal

I completely agree but I think you are really missing what parents are facing now. Porn and TV is not the same that I watched. It's just not.

I think the Dems ignoring this issue, and they are, allows the Reps to make inroads and insert their family values arguments. The only party speaking out are the Reps. Too many families think the Reps speak for family values. If the Dems refuse to speak out, then the only family values are the Reps. Please tell me the Dem position??? Yep, this is a partisan issue.

[hippiegranny]

24. OK, I understand what you're saying now

and I admit I got off on a bit of a rant because equating sex with violence seems like when people equate gays with pedophiles or pot smokers with meth dealers.

But anyway, remember when Tipper Gore went all out for the decency thing in music lyrics and got the industry to label all the CD's based on language content? I think our side does it's fair share, but just like the religion thing, we don't wear it on our sleeves in order to APPEAR more moral. And maybe we DO need to do more grandstanding and tooting our own horn to make people aware of the family values we definitely possess.

[yellozebra]

27. Are you a single issue voter?

And is this your issue ==> Dems vs. Repugs?

In other words you couldn't care less how else you got screwed, or how many people got severely screwed in your name and your children's names, you just want your kids protected from "explicit content" by the govt somehow?

just asking.

DemsAnswer: Innovation. Soon dear, your problem will be solved technologically. You will be able to preprogram to beep all the words you never ever want to hear come out your TV. And viola, Bob's your uncle. No mean and nasties ever, regardless of program. It's in the pipeline, here to hoping it arrives before 2008.

Imagine that.

[cally]

33. You just made my point

That is my entire point. No, I'm not a single issue voter. Are you?

Too many Dems refuse to accept that there is a parenting issue. A family values issue and if you look at any of my posts you will know I'm adamantly pro-choice. What you just responded with is the problem with the Dem party.

Your snarkiness about technology just seals it.

[RobinA]

40. It May Be a Parenting Issue

but it shouldn't be a political issue. If Bill Gates wants to sell blocking software for the computer or TV, that's peachy with this liberal. If you want to buy it and use it, that's fine too. I don't think any Dem is trying to tell Bill he can't sell it or tell you that you can't buy it, so where does the issue become political?

Frankly, if I were a parent I would severely limit the amount of TV watched, but not because of the sex and violence, but because of the values purveyed that have nothing to do with either. If my 12 year old isn't learning to be a prepubescent sexpot from the average sitcom, I've got a lot less to worry about if she sees a naked butt now and then.

[Telly Savalas]

31. Family values?

Like universal health care for your children?

Properly funded public schools that have curriculums which aren't geared solely towards passing come asinine NCLB test?

Not having your child shipped off halfway across the world to be shot at in a bullshit war based on lies?

Making sure your family can breathe clean air and drink clean water?

Being able to see your children happily married regardless of their sexual orientation?

Not making our children's generation shoulder the burden for the present government's absurd fiscal irresponsibility?

There is only one party that's standing up for these family values, and it sure as hell isn't the GOP.

[cally]

34. See post 33, you made my point

If you have ever read any of my posts you would know that my primary issues are choice and the envirnonment. But no, if I post anything about family values than I'm ignorant about any other issue. Get a clue, all of us have many issues and understand most. Don't project your biasies.

[Telly Savalas]

44. No. You just made my point.

I'm simply pointing out that by applying the label "family values" only to issues like television censorship and not to all of the issues that I mentioned you're ceding vast amounts of territory to the radical right. I can turn off the TV. I have much less immediate control over the other issues mentioned.

[SmokingJacket]

42. WHOSE family values?

I now get your point. But I think "family values" belong in the family, and the government should have *no part* in deciding what those values are. Isn't that the Democratic position?

My children know many gay people and I don't want them thinking that being gay is shameful, so we talk about what it means (not graphically!) quite openly -- but those are my values and I KNOW lots of people don't share them. I don't want my kids to freak out when they see a naked breast, either, so we are relatively casual about nudity (I have some Degas prints of bathers around the house, for example.) I dislike the way women are portrayed on television, though, and I'd rather my children didn't grow up thinking that the only worthwhile woman are conventionally beautiful and sexy. And, I HATE violence, and do not want my children thinking that casually hurting other people is okay.

The problem with family values is... WHOSE family are we talking about?

PS I have no problem with labeling CDs and whatever. Tipper Gore was the one who was all over that, and she was a Dem!!

[Bookster]

19. there's sex...and there's sex....

Anal rape isn't exactly open, healthy and joyful.

[hippiegranny]

26. no, it isn't

and the issue should be with the tv station that ran that in a promo.

[H2O Man]

20. Interesting.

I read the OP, and in no way took it to be a discussion about this as a "DEM downfall." Quite the opposite, I thought it was an attempt to discuss family values, which I think is a democratic strength .... and a republic weakness.

The subject of sex is an important one. If any parent feels at all uncomfortable with it, or simply has a question and wants feedback, I think that bringing it up to other democrats should be "safe."

I have four children: two boys (21 & 17) and two girls (11 & 7). I have tried to teach them some values, including that sex is a part of life. I do not think nudity is a bad thing on tv per say; however, many programs make nudity & sex seem "dirty." I've spoken at times with friends about their views on these things. Not a DEM downfall at all.

The democratic party needs to be recognized as the party that respects individual families' values. I thought that was what the OP was all about.

[American Tragedy]

36. I don't get the obsessive fear of nudity, language, sexuality

My parents were notoriously unrestrictive of movies and television in our house when I was growing up. My earliest memories are of watching bad 1980s slasher flicks.

Or so it seemed. Actually, their priorities were just different from other parents.

They weren't concerned about nudity, since they didn't inherently associate the exposed human body with perversion, or even necessarily with sexuality at all. It's just anatomy.

They didn't care about profanity very much, since I heard it constantly when I started school, and Mom and Dad had already made it very, very clear that they would not tolerate hearing me use those words.

However, they were very concerned about concepts, and spent countless hours discussing films and television with me to make sure I understood the difference between reality and media.
For many years they kept me from watching anything that they simply considered too complicated for me to understand, particularly the disturbing facts of war and human relationships.

I'm glad, too, since at 16-17 years of age I was in a much better position to grasp films like Paths of Glory, Full Metal Jacket, The Deer Hunter, Jacob's Ladder, and other more benign films that contained profound messages.

It was never as simple as whether a movie depicts blood & guts, bad words, or naked tits. The few select movies my parents restricted demanded a mature view of the world, and they observed me closely until they were certain that I was ready.

[cynatnite]

21. I'm pretty liberal on what my kids watch

I always have been, but the line has to be drawn at some point as far as content and quantity. I think most things in excess can be harmful.

I do agree that more parents should take responsibility. I get sick of the passing the buck type of attitude when a kid screws up. When one of mine do it, I have to take a certain amount of responsibility.

This reminds me of a news story that happened around here several months ago. There was a hazing incident at one of the high school which involved forced sodomy with some object. A RW gal I used to know commented that that's what happens when there isn't school prayer :wtf: I told her that's what happens when parents do a rotten job of raising their kids.

All kids need to know limits and parents shouldn't be afraid to enforce them. Even though I do believe it takes a village, I also think that a village can't take the place of parenting. When the parents fail that child then maybe the village should step up.

[EFerrari]

22. You've gotten several very thoughtful replies

on this thread, and you conclude, we're not speaking up?! And that this is a "partisan" issue?

Might want to go back and check what has been posted?

[cally]

23. I don't understand your post

at all. Yes, it is a partisan issue. If you follow national politics, and I know you do, then the dems are demonized on this issue. Do you disagree with that one? If you have an opinion than post it.

Look at the first few responses. Does anyone who follows DU think for a second that this would have been a pile on me if I hadn't fought back quickly. I don't like DU often on these issues. Who other than me questioned the initial responses? Why not? I know that I've gotten many thoughtful responses and that I'm in the majority of Dems. But what makes Dems accept the acrimony? I refuse to do it anymore.

[EFerrari]

29. Okay, let's see if I can be clearer.

Dems are demonized at every opportunity for anything that will hit with the nutwing base. That doesn't mean there is merit to the charges leveled against them.

I agree that there is a Knee Jerk Contingent here but, when the dust settles, (as it did on this thread) there are usually thoughtful posters who genuinely try to address the OP.

And I agree about acrimony. It's not good for the spewer or the spewed upon. :)

I think what I meant was, if you look at the positive posts on this thread, it's clear that Dems are concerned about this issue and have thought about it and can talk about it.

Like a couple of posters up thread, I had no problem saying no to shows that seemed to me inappropriate. And also had to develop age-appropriate answers to my kids' questions. Those are just basic parenting skills.

[H2O Man]

38. I considered responding

to the first thing posted. I considered it rude and obnoxious. I think that your response to it was fine. I do not understand how anybody could take offense at the OP or your other points about parenting.

For millions of Americans, issues involving the quality of our family lives are the most important. Having children changes a person's life -- hopefully, anyhow. I think that all of the issues you raised were interesting and of value.

[American Tragedy]

32. That's fine. Use the tools at your disposal.

I know for a fact that satellite networks let guardians block entire channels and programs.

But it's NOT the government's prerogative. I sure as hell don't need Orrin Hatch to determine what programming is suitable for my virgin eyes and ears.

Stay out of the media and let us decide for ourselves what is appropriate content for our children. I favor 'small government' in that respect, which ironically was once the ideal of the Republican party.

[left15]

37. internet ratings

There is a very simple way to add ratings to web pages, just goto ICRA.org and use the simple tool. it asks you about 50 things, you just say yes or no, for a single page, or your whole site. they the generate the code to add to your page to give you the right ratings.

Everyone already has the blocker to work with these ratings, its under tools, internet options, content advisor in internet explorer.

You can pick which of the 50 things you want your kids to see, and can override with a password.

Ratings seem to work for movies, why not the web? parents could even set the ratings for their kids at the library, and when kids sit down at a computer they scan thir card, and only get the ratings their parents allow. Adults would still get to see whatever they want.

[Is It Fascism Yet]

43. I put the TV in a closet and told the kids it was broken for 2 years...

best 2 years of our lives, we sometimes sat around and read to each other after dinner! Boy were the kids pissed off though, when they found out it wasn't ever even broken!

[skygazer]

49. Interesting

The problem here is who gets to make the decisions about what is appropriate and what isn't? I think it's reasonable that racy television shows not be aired prior to a certain time. I think it's reasonable to have a ratings system. But you're not always going to know and I think we have to accept that or decide that we want to live in a restricted society. I, for one, don't want that.

I grew up in the Vietnam era. You want to talk about heavy shit on the tube? It was on every evening on the nightly news which my parents always watched. I was generally watching with them. Though my father and mother were firm believers in our "mission" in Vietnam, I picked up enough at a young age to realize they were wrong.

When do you want your kids to grow up? Seriously. Eventually, they will be the ones making decisions and running things. They will not just magically become adults when they turn 21 - it's a process that begins when they are young. They need to learn the values and morals that you carry and be informed enough to learn what their own values are. That's not going to happen without information. You can't protect them from the world forever and when you shield them from everything, you do them a disservice, IMO.

And yes, I have children. Three adult children, who are very sane and together.

[TahitiNut]

50. "Growing up" (maturing emotionally) takes a LOOONG time.

I don't see much virtue in delaying the start. I hope some day to "get there" myself. :silly:

[cally]

53. The whole point of my post is that we have to recognize the concerns

of parents. We, as Dems, just can't pretend parents concerns away. I don't for a second think it's OK for my once 4 year old to hear about anal rape. I don't think my once 4 year old should understand about violent sex.

The whole point is that we have to set standards and restrict what our children see. Parents have to act. It's not about my standards, but about setting standards. Give us the tools and we will act.

And to the poster who brought up Tipper Gore's tirade. Look up some DU threads. She is despised for her goals by many on DU. Those threads were why I brought this one up.

Parents need information. I don't want censorship but if I'm going to be responsible then I need information.

[Book Lover]

52. OK, then, parent to parent

How did it harm your daughter to know that there is something in the world called anal rape? What is wrong with age appropriate information: "That's a kind of crime, a violent crime. It's very rare, and not anything you have to worry about." Even if that last statement is a lie, it gives the child the reassurance they need to hear when they learn about something dangerous.