I've decided to build a nuclear bomb in my backyard.

[queeg]

The way I figure it, I own the place. The freepers want to jail me or take away my rights, and like Mao said, they understand only that power comes from the barrel of a gun. --

So let's call it maybe what it is---you take me out, and it's Mutually assured destruction time here at the old Queeg homestead. Just owning a gun doesn't seem to be enough anymore, so I'm gonna step it up ----

I baked a lemon cake earlier so with that yellow cake in hand, I am at least as far along as Iraq was. I have a couple old aluminum tubes from when I took the curtains down in the back room, and I'm gonna dig out my old copies of the Progressive where they published all the plans. I am a pert fair mathematician, and they always say that modern computers have more computing power than those used to design bombs in the 50's --so I just move the solitare window to the side and figure I'll whip up some bomb plans in Excel.

And if the bomb doesn't make it I figure my chemical weapons plant that's brewin' under the sink for the past couple weeks --that'll get 'em---I really ought to take out the trash more often, but hooo baby it stinks under there---I need to look up if you can mildew someone to death.

EDIT---later this same evening---
Damn-it the wife is screaming from the other room---

She says a Lemon cake isn't the same thing as yellow-cake, and I ain't gonna blow up any freepers with that Duncan-Hines---

Shit, I think I burned the cake --and taking it out of the oven it was perfectly wicked lookin' ---perfect Nuke-o bomb makin' ingreedients if I say so myself.

[Kindigger]

1. Yup

:rofl:

[walldude]

2. Dude...

I'm not sure I'd be talking like that around here. Even in jest. Big brother is watching.... :scared:

[WatchWhatISay]

3. That was my first thought too

But did you read the whole thing? It's obviously just meant to be funny and not serious.

[driver8]

4. Good yellow cake is so hard to find these days...

I feel your pain.

[Spinzonner]

5. Sounds like a Crocker to me

[TheModernTerrorist]

6. hahaha

:rofl:

best post of the night!!

[The Magistrate]

7. Very Funny, Sir

No, really, very funny....

[Journeyman]

8. Well, anything's good if it keeps you out of street gangs. . .

and I gotta figure this'll keep you active for at least a week (unless you're as good as the fictitious Iraqi nuke team, in which case you should have that bomb finished in less than 45 minutes. . . cooling time for the Lemon Cake not included).