Hummer Owners Suck!

[DarkPhenyx]

Had a really crappy drive home today. Lots of morans in their SUV's driving like they own the road, riding up the median to get ahead of the lines of traffic. Making me wish I had gotten that 30mm Cannon option on my truck.

Then a friend of mine sends this URL to me.

http://www.andkon.com/stuf/hummer/

The stupidity of the Hummer owners is more than evident. They basically buy a car that looks like tuna can for a ton of money. The only thing separating a KIA from a Hummer is that the first costs one-tenth of the second. Speaking of crappy cars like KIA, most of my childhood was spent in Hungary. Being a communist country until 1989, Hungary had (and still has) its share of shitty communist manufactured crap cars.

[T Roosevelt]

1. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer?

With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.

[Festivito]

2. Do they know how many drops of blood are in each gallon.

The SUV owners, using them as passenger cars without having to pay any extra for some gas consumption lowering technology since trucks don't fall under passenger car CAFE standards, do they, do they realize that the cost of the gas does NOT include are war bills, and do they, do they know that each gallon of gas comes with a built in death charge of their own children -- drops of children's blood.

[Liberal Classic]

3. Screw Hummers

I want a Ford GT40!

http://www.fordvehicles.com/fordgt/home.asp?bhcp=1

[jobycom]

4. I like H2 owners

H2s are basically Yukons with a different body. The original Hummer was at least a good vehicle, even if silly for city dwelling. H2s are just silly cars. They don't have any more off-road ability than a Ford Escape, and probably less practicality. Their size makes them useless for real four-wheeling. Their large flat panels are easily damaged. They are pure city vehicles.

And that's why I love their owners. If someone can get 60K out of them for that, think of what we can do! Hair growth formulas, penile enhancement pills... the sky's the limit. H2s make me think of PT Barnum.

It's also fun to squirt ketchup packets under their door handles when they take up two parking spots.

[KharmaTrain]

5. These Are Tanks, Not Cars

My greatest fear is the local soccer mom driving the van, talking on the cellphone with the back loaded with screaming yard-apes, suddenly realizing she missed her turn and makes a quick 180. This happens here a lot. Hummers are even worse.

These are huge vehicles that many people really aren't trained to operate properly. Watching Hummer and SUV owners attempt to parallel park is painful...seeing them hog up two spots in a parking lot is common and then there's those huge blind-spots on those death-traps.

I'm not against the vehicles. As a happy capitalist, if someone wants to spend $40,000, then the high gas and maintenance costs...bless 'em. But not they learned on small vehicles that operate completely different. A person should be tested to prove they can operate these vehicles safely.