An E-Mail From A Soldier

[im10ashus]

My nephew is in Iraq again, but told they are coming home soon. I hope and pray. His friend and he spent some time with me and my partner last summer before deployment. They had never been to Manhattan before and loved every second of it. My nephew's buddy sent me an e-mail today. They grow up so fast these days. Here's his unedited e-mail.

War is a very big word, that is impossible to explain. Many writers have written many books or screenplays in an attempt to bring the feeling of war to our homes. I still enjoy a good war movie don't get me wrong. Though, when the movie is over the few hours we spent watching fades from our minds and memories. Many soldiers come home and never speak of the things they saw in the war they fought. They never forget, they simply either move on or stay trapped in this place forever. Their minds not willing to let go of the treachery or loss that they suffered.
War is chaos. There is nothing good about it. I won't say it isn't necessary, because it is. I had a good feeling about what it was I signed up to do, thanks to all the movies. Of course I trained for 15 months prior to this deployment. When it comes down to it, the main driving force behind any soldier is his buddies. It is clear that we all signed up for different reasons and all have very different backgrounds. It is rare that you meet the soldier who actually signed up to help his country, but there are a few. Most of the people I meet wanted out of a poor life, or a bad one. A lot of kids just want to go to college. Very few ever re-enlist to stay in. Even with all the different types of people here in the military it seems to work just fine. We all depend on each other in the most drastic situations.
I could tell my stories of war, of the things I have seen. I wonder though if people would understand them, or appreciate them. You see my story would fade away from your minds as quickly as any book or movie about world war two. It just isn't the same unless you are there with bullets flying past you, cracking the air as they pass. Explosions can be be captured on film and replayed and looked at over and over. Though when you see it in front of you, and feel the awesome power behind the force of a thousand pound bomb crushing a house, a picture just is not the same. My memories of this place will surly be with me forever. I am a better person for having had this experience. There is something about this destruction I witnessed that helps me appreciate the place we live.
I could share the tales of cities being destroyed right in front of my eyes. I could tell the tales of American soldiers getting blown up and killed. I could tell about how I earned my purple heart, but it would just be another war story. It seems as though some things are better left on the battle field.
I came here excited about this experience, about seeing another culture. I thought I would write all about it every day. I tried at times to write about what I saw but found my pen would not move across the paper. I guess I could not find the words to express it. It could be that I did not really know how to share the day to day life of the experiences I was having. It isn't all exciting, rather boring at times. Almost as if we were killing time, more so than anything else. We were always at a high state of readiness though, always on guard. Well armed and ready to meet any foe. We have been told we did an outstanding job here. I say we just did our jobs.
So as I prepare in the next few weeks to come home, I bring with me the experience that I personally had. My buddies, I'm sure had their own, together we shared it all. Our adrenaline flowed when we needed it, our sweat drenched our boots at times. We found courage within ourselves. We relied on one another. I still think about how much warfare has changed since wars past. We have been here just over 4 months, many at home, as well as here seem to think that is a long time. I wonder what it was like for the warriors of world war two,who stayed until the war was over. This short time I spent here was just a taste of being so deprived of our homeland, and family. Of course that is what every soldier is willing to do the second he or she signs up into military service, all the while knowing the threat to our lives and health that exists in war.
Maybe no one will ever be able to explain war. It could be that no explanation exists, just tales and stories from within it. There is no place for explanations or thoughts like these on the battlefield, only a will to act and follow orders. That is the way of a soldier. When the soldiers come home they need to forget this place, leave it here, let it go. Until called upon again by their nation to fight. Then proudly I would put on my armor, grab my rifle and go to battle.

[glarius]

1. Very interesting

I'm sure he has had a hard time, but I don't detect any appreciation of the suffering of the Iraqi people in his email....Sorry to say this, but that's what struck me...

[merh]

2. the same thing struck me

As if he is trying to justify his existence and experiences.

I have never served and/or fought in battle, I don't know how I would react, how I would justify what I was ordered to do. I don't know what I would do to be able to live with myself.

I fear the words he does not write, the feelings he hides in his omissions, will eat him alive. His not telling is very telling.

He and the others that have had to be a part of this hell are in my prayers, their wounds are deeper than we could ever imagine, even if they come home unharmed. :cry:

[Bluerthanblue]

3. this is beautifully written, and i hope he comes

home alive- and has opportunity to truly let the experience INTO him- While i agree with the other replies which state how dis-connected he is to the suffering around him- it is what has been drummed into him- The feeling of 'family' that binds soldiers into a 'unit' and allows them to endure what should cause any human to crumble, and i believe is exploited, for the purpose of shutting down our 'consicence'..(?) individual response/thought, is so evident here-

The one thing that disturbs and worries me is his last paragraph. But I have faith, that when time and distance seperate him from the life he's led so far, he may indeed write a different story.

They/he doesn't need to forget- they need to remember- and tell others the reality- the ugly, graphic, sorrowful truth- so that war is seen as the evil that it actually is.- and to demonstrate to all exactly whar is NEVER a 'good choice'-

Thanks for sharing this-
peace