The Stir-Fried Attorney General of All CAPTIONS!!!!!

[skip fox]

Ashcroft is thinking: "Son-of-a-bitch! I was nice as hell to the little c*cks*cker and what does he do for me? Nothing! That's what. I said, 'Karl, Listen. You're the genius. You made the National Guard go away, you made us love a deficit, and made us believe tax cuts were good for us, . . . . Hell, you made people think Numbnuts was presidential material, for Christ's sake!!! . . . Can't ya just TRY to get me out of this? You can spin it so how it was great I was trying to cut the terrorism budget and go after porn and marijuana and abortion rights.' . . . Can't believe the slimy butt wad told me I was cooked . . . That he'd convinced Numbnuts to throw me to the sharks . . . . And then the had the gall to give me that fake laugh before he hung up. . . . Geez. . . . I'm cooked."

[cosmicdot]

1. Ashcroft is thinking: hey, I got that terra-ist Tommy Chong in my ban

the bong campaign which has been a success if you ask GOP team leader Bob Boudelang who doesn't consider the Afghan poppy crop a bumper one and, so, it's not fair for comparing apples and oranges ... what would you have wanted me to do...freeze off-shore bank accounts for a complete audit??? ... make corporate corruption a top priority as if it matters??? ... so what if Tommy Chong isn't the owner of Chong Glass ... he's a customer of the GOP-friendly Wackenhut Corrections Corporation now, and out of his Pacific Palisades terra-cell ... who would name their child Paris and Precious? Paris! What does that say about family values??? What good are obscure laws if we don't enforce them?

[cosmicdot]

2. please, call me by my alter-ego name, Heinrich Himmler