This post is not a non-sex thread.

[Deja Q]

I've been celibate for almost 4 years. Not by choice. So there! :P

[skooooo]

1. hmm

;(

you don't seem too unhappy about it, so that's good?

[Deja Q]

2. Desperate and miserable

Of course, that scares away people too. :-) :-(

[skooooo]

4. true.....

...get out and make friends, get your mind off this particular issue and change your lifestyle a little...

just an idea

[Deja Q]

7. Here's an idea

Let's swap personalities. I'll have your personality and life history and you can have mine.

For one month.

You'll want yours back in less than 72 hours. Guaranteed or the pizza's free.

I appreciate your sentiment, but to simply say "get out and make friends" is exceedingly difficult. And, no, I can't explain. It's too painful to talk about. You truly have no idea what it's like... and you wouldn't like it if you experienced it.

[Rowdyboy]

3. Do you try, or are you in a situation where

its very difficult to even do that? The reason I ask, is that I lived 11 years in a small, rural town where it was tough to make any connection. Even so, I was never celibate for more than 6-7 months at a time (some of those country boys will surprise you!)

[Duncan Grant]

5. And that's why we call you Rowdyboy!

Woof. :evilgrin:

[Rowdyboy]

9. LOL...Have you ever got me pegged!

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

Thanks!

[Deja Q]

6. It is difficult...

The environment I grew up in was inhospitable in a very personal sort of way. That makes "changing my lifestyle" (as noted from another reply) a bit difficult. I love it when people tell me that. Someday I'm going to tell them to live through my shoes and they'll see things in quite a different way. (Actually, I wouldn't tell them to live through my shoes. It ain't pretty...)

Add to the fact I can barely find anybody with similar interests, let alone anybody who I click with...

Heck, I don't even go out of my way to say "I'm horny". Thanks to a recent picture I've received 6 messages on the personals site. Didn't take long for me to scare 'em away, and THEY were the ones flaunting themselves, saying how they wanted to rock my world or getting together or one that was charmingly explicit...

[skooooo]

8. counselling??

Well, I dunno.

[Rowdyboy]

10. Every person brings their own demons to the table...

Believe me, I have mine. However, my very happy childhood left me well equipped to deal with the many disappointments that came my way and that has made a huge difference. Also, even when I was in a sexually inhospitable environment, I still had very good straight friends who loved and accepted me.

I will say that I was 35 before I ever experienced real, lasting happiness. You have to find a way to connect. If bars aren't your thing, take night classes. My partner and I are taking enrichment courses at a local college and the number of unaccompanied women is shocking (thankfully, neither of us are looking). Get a part-time job in a place with employees your age; hell, join a church-even if you're anti-religion, you could enjoy the discussion groups at the Unitarian Universalist Church.

Get out of the house. Four years is a long time to be alone. I wish I could offer more help and you're welcome to pm me anytime you want to talk.....Steve