3 days with 4 teenage boys: stories from Hell.

[Cuban_Liberal]

They're safely on the train and headed to Chicago. I need a drink! :P

[David Dunham]

1. What did they do wrong?

[Cuban_Liberal]

2. They were teenage boys.

Silly question! ;)

[David Dunham]

3. Were they interesting at least?

[Cuban_Liberal]

4. Oh, yes! It was quite entertaining, in its own way.

I enjoyed them, but I'm not sure I'll be quite so willing to invite all 4 down at the same time, next time. ;)

[David Dunham]

5. Were they your relatives?

[Cuban_Liberal]

7. Yes.

3 were Paddy's brothers (18, 16 and 15) and one was my brother (16).

[SarahB]

6. In ten years...

I'll have three teenaged boys. God help me. :beer:

[Cuban_Liberal]

8. Have courage!

;)

[Zookeeper]

9. My oldest of three...

became a teen last year. It's even worse than I expected. Kind of like having a really big two-year-old, with a really sassy mouth.

I would suggest that you make a point of enjoying the relatively calm years from eight through eleven. Fortify yourself!

[WindRavenX]

10. One teenage boy isn't bad...

But FOUR???
Cuban_Liberal, you're a stronger woman than I could ever be. Have a Cosmo on me! :beer:

[Cuban_Liberal]

13. Thank you!

:beer:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

11. Tony, doesn't that make you guys want to adopt?

Your house is awful quiet isn't it? Too quiet.
Duckie

[Cuban_Liberal]

14. Ummm...

Sure, I'd like one or two kids, but four? Ermmmm..... ;)

[Cocoa]

12. I bet you've been listening to sucky music

poor kids, their music sucks.

[WindRavenX]

15. Hey now...

I'm 19, and not ALL of today's music sucks. A lot does, but not all. But even if you think it sucks, as long as the kids like it...no biggie, IMO.

[Cocoa]

17. I just saw my 16-year-old brother's yearbook

Avril Lavigne, Usher and some other crap won the music survey. I went to the same school a long time ago, and the winners were COOL bands like Rush! and Asia! :-)

[Cuban_Liberal]

16. You know it!

It's sooooooooooooo nice and quiet here now. :D

[cally]

18. The only thing worse is when 4 teenage boys

hang around your teenage girl for three days. Well, if your daughter's a lesbian than three girls, or if your son's...whatever. :-)

[Cuban_Liberal]

19. Do they giggle and shriek?

Please tell me no... :P

[cally]

20. Giggle...I'm getting used to it

and that's insane. What's horrible is when they do it together. :scared:

[Cuban_Liberal]

21. OMG!

That IS a scary thought! :scared:

[put out]

22. A lifetime of adolescence.

Just one boy. This is going to last forever because it seems that he is 14 years old. He will be 18 years old and then he will be self-sustaining. Right, right?

So, how does your bathroom look now? You should try not to go there for a bit. This is a professional talking.

My day with the guy: after cross country running starting at 0715 (no, not me, him), we went to the pediatrician today for an immunization and a well child check up and a sports physical. And then to lunch in a restaurant where the well child laid down on the bench for seating, and wore his hat. O.K.

And then to a discount department store to buy shorts, shirts, and things which may not be mentioned lest I should die. To the tune of $$. May I add another $?. O.K.

And then, it turns out, that he and his father had a date to go and get some running shoes. O.K. So they did that thing. Some more $$. May I add another $?. O.K. And then to the gym to try out the shoes on a treadmill to make certain the shoes work O.K. May I add another $?. O.K.

Then, it turns out, that the person to whom I gave birth, as it turns out, has in his mind misplaced the fact the he has a baseball practice. And some teammates need a ride to the practice. O.K.

And he needs water. And it turns out he wants to eat like two or eight times a day. And then he sleeps 10 hours or so.

Bless your lovely heart for doing this for them. These boys will remember your generosity and kindness.

Kim

[Cuban_Liberal]

23. Hehehe!

I had forgotten how teenage boys eat (my GOD, do they EAT!), as well as how frequently. After laying in enough food to see the Donner party safely through the winter, I was informed Saturday evening that we were 'out of' a list of foodstuffs that looked like a shopping list for a small, starving, third-world country. Off to the grocery store I go, admonitions as to what BRANDS of foodstuffs were acceptable and what were not. I return, whereupon the two-legged locusts descend on the bags I'm carrying. I cringe in a mixture of awe and terror at the sight of such efficient predators.

As I grilled 6 20-oz. porterhouse steaks for supper, I wondered what would befall these bovine offerings scant minutes later. I need not have wondered: 6 1/2 pounds of beef disappeared in under 15 minutes, with Paddy and I sharing a steak. Dessert---- a gallon of ice cream--- appeared and then disappeared in record time; the carton was still forsted on the outside, though emptied of its contents.

I could go on about the mountains of wet towels (teenage boys MUST shower at least three times a day, it seems), forests of sneakers scattered about, repeated requests to 'rent us a porn tape, Tony---PLEEEEEEEEASE?', but I won't...

:P

[Lydia Leftcoast]

24. I recall taking a group of college students to Japan

With the way the guys in the group ate (i.e. buying complete extra meals at fast food places between regular meals and then snacking in between), I felt as if I had brought a plague of locusts to that country.

[cally]

25. Young boys eat so much...

I'm amazed. I don't mean this in a disparaging way, but boys consume an incredible amount.

[put out]

27. It does turn out that they shower a lot,

BUT THEY STILL DON'T SMELL DANDY! Poor dudes, but oh me oh my, poor me and shit oh dear. They (adolescent people) have made my downstairs a new frontier in the evolution of new humanity.

A helpful hint to young adults. Use antiperspirant. It does not give you cancer. I don't care what gramma told you, and you know exactly what she smelled like. Brush your teeth daily, and two times if you can work it into your busy day. Please. Putting damp towels into the hamper makes mold. They do not just go away and then appear upon your bed laundered, dried, and folded. It seems you can use a towel more than once. Who knew?

And it is not a contest to see who can consume the most lemonade or Koolaide or milk or eggs or lasagna. There is enough for everyone. I promise, no person shall go hungry.

Your shoes are big. I am impressed by the bigness that is your shoes. But it would be really better if all the very big shoes would be put into a place whereby the person who owns no big shoes and seldom wears shoes could walk and not hurt her feet.

On the other hand,
I love young people. Please keep heart, young people. I'm just complaining. I'll be here all week.

[DemoTex]

26. One of my all-time favorite quotes. From P.J. O'Roark:

Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.