Everything you ever wanted to know about RandomKoolzip but were

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

afraid to ask.

As his attorney, Mr Koolzip has asked me to anwer on his behalf, in order to give his legions of fans (and stalkers) something to tide them over between his scant public appearances (especially on DU).

So shoot.

[Magrittes Pipe]

1. What's up with the soul patch?

Seriously. That's wack.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

2. Please define "soul patch". Your honor - move to strike?

.....

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. You know full well what I mean.

The thing that makes him look like a longhair Luke Perry.

That shit may fly in the coffee houses and "juice bars," but you should remind your friend that he is a CHEF, not a techno DJ; and when my chef looks like a Heidelburg art-school student, I lose my appetite.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

4. Especially when you get a long greasy black hair in your......

inadmissable, your honor! Move to strike!

[Magrittes Pipe]

5. He only left short, curly black hairs in mine.

:shrug:

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

7. Then why are you complaining. It's protein

Your honor, exibit d - Atkins high protein chart 12.

[jpgray]

6. I just came by to watch you eventually run out of lawyer cliches

Keep going.

:D

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

8. Lawyer cliches notwithstanding, whitac...whoisalhedges, knows him...

what would you like to know about monsieur Koolzip?

[jpgray]

9. Are his thirty-four part-time 'jobs' really a secret agent cover? (nt)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

10. 17 are the rest are semi-legitimate.

Like the 4 escort gigs. The 2 swedish massage and the brazilian waxing contract are all on the up and up. The rest have not been disclosed due to pending litigation.

[GOPisEvil]

11. Is his zip, in fact, Kool? How about Random?

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

12. Zip's favorite brand is:

and he's as random as hairs making it into your entre.

You may define that as you will