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But I'm not putting this in the form of a "What should I do?" poll. I'd just like to hear your thoughts. Maybe I'm looking for some positive reinforcement for a decision I'm not entirely happy with.
1. My favorite (only) uncle (86) had a stroke last week. He lives a little over 700 miles away. I am very close to him and his daughter and son. Miz t. and I were with all of them at his birthday party in May. Chances of recovery are nil. His wife died about 4 years ago. I think he welcomes death, as much as a God believing man can. He is in hospice, and we are just waiting for the end.
2. Next Wednesday we plan to attend the wedding of the son of our closest friends. I mean REALLY close. Like brother and sister. Their son is like one of our own. The wedding is in the hinterlands of British Columbia. About 8 hours from Vancouver. My daughter, son-in-law, and 2 year old grandson Jack are also going. We'll meet in Seattle and proceed together to final destination. They are counting on at least one of us to help with Jack. We'll be gone for a week. We plan to stop in Seattle on the way home for three days to see family and friends there. We booked airline tickets, hotel rooms, and rental cars months ago. I'm ashamed to let money enter into this, but we're on the hook for around $3000 (non-refundable) that we can really ill afford. A guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.
My window of opportunity to attend my uncle's funeral closed today. If he dies tonight, I don't think the funeral could be held before Monday. We need a day before our Wednesday departure to get pets to the vet, and generally get last minute stuff squared away before we leave for the airport at 3:30 a.m. A Monday funeral would mean driving all day Tuesday. It just won't work. I can't afford to fly, which would actually take almost as long as driving anyway.
Bonus: Our geriatric German Shepherd is on her last legs. She's damn near as much a member of our family as my uncle is. Just effing great.
So...I've decided to go to the wedding. I can just rationalize the hell out of this decision. 1. It's a celebration of the living. 2. I do not want to send Miz t. off on her own, given the difficulties with dealing with airport security, the current (who the hell knows?) terror alert, etc., etc. She's a big girl, but I just don't want to ship her off by herself. My daughter needs the help of at least one of us. 3. I don't really want to see my uncle lying up in a bed, non compos mentis. He's pretty much comatose and doesn't know anybody anyway. 4. I'm an atheist, so I don't think he'll be "looking down" or anything approaching that.
So why don't I feel "right" with my decision? I don't feel "wrong". Just not "right". I think I'm doing what I "need" to do. But it bothers me. OK, bring on the group hugs. ;-)
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