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I feel really strange. For two years, I tried to be close to this man and his family. Then I got the obligatory back-stab last October: an insane attempt at proselytization. Luckily, the oldest son has left fundamentalism. Hopefully, he'll stay dogma-free. He's living away from the family. Smart move, if you ask me.
My visit was supposed to be strictly business. His eldest daughter is starting college this year and I built a computer system for her. Because of my neck and back problems, John (the leader of the fundy family) came and got the computer.
John is kind, but I've learned his kindness has ulterior motives. Fundies can only love a person positionally, not essentially. This is due to the dogma of original sin. If a person has not accepted Christ, he is sinful, evil and on his way to hell. Therefore, non-Christians are perceived in one of two ways: 1) temptations, or 2) potential converts. The convert thing didn't work, so I bet I'm relegated to "temptation" sometime in the near future if it hasn't happened already.
I hadn't eaten because I had pushed to finish the computer. I felt guilty when offered food, then I noticed a "Viva Bush" bumper sticker sitting on the counter. My face flushed.
The TV was on, probably the History Channel. Historians were spouting off a list of Hitler's crimes and the wife was making little "horrified sympathy" noises. I wanted to shove the pro-Bush sticker in their faces and say, "Don't you think the Iraqis are dying? Don't you think the Iraqis are starving? All because this evil man started an unnecessary war! He's already putting people in concentration camps! He's already torturing them! Right now it's mostly Arabs, but if this goes on, do you really think he's going to stop there?
"How can you not SEE? How can you not learn from HISTORY? How can you not THINK FOR YOURSELVES for a change. Why is it so impossible for you to question authority???? Jesus H. Fucking Christ, use your MINDS, people!!! Or has fundamentalism completely turned them to mush?"
Sigh.
Mush-minded people believing in talking snakes, hanging on their pastors' every word, never questioning dogma. What is wrong with these people?
I wasn't much of a happy camper for the computer setup. :( I feel an overwhelming sense of loss every time I'm near fundy and/or right-wing family and friends. I feel so alone. I can't accept their beliefs. I just can't. And if I spend too much time around them, they start shoving it down my throat, accusing me of being demon-possessed and all kinds of crazy-ass shit.
I've gotten to the point where I can't stand to be around people. I don't really know very many people who aren't stark raving lunatics jumping on the Bush bandwagon. So, I go up to the high country. I seek solitude in nature. I walk. I hike. I swim. And I find I like wildlife much, much more than I like fundies.
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