Alright wits of DU - I need headline help

[HEyHEY]

The article is about a pub owner pissed his patrons can't puff smokes.

It's gotta be a short, snappy headline.

[JohnKleeb]

1. I dont know man

but you should write a story about pratically kids enlisting in the military. Sigh, sorry, read some of my threads.

[HEyHEY]

3. I would but, not a problem in my country - let alone my town

[JohnKleeb]

6. thats true man

PM me if you want. My youth, innocence is gone.

[SoCalDem]

2. Butts on bar stools but not in ashtrays

:)

[HEyHEY]

4. not bad!

[HEyHEY]

5. It fits too!

[BQueen]

19. like it, but maybe tweak to address owner's concern

i.e., no butts in ashtrays = no butts on barstools.

[SoCalDem]

Pub Owner Upset About Butt Ban

:)

[Name removed]

7. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Swede]

9. "Banning smoking in bars can get you Tombstoned."

Go figure.

[HEyHEY]

11. who the hell was this?

And what was their problem

[Swede]

13. Maybe someone from the tobacco industry?

He was gone in sixty seconds. cough cough

[HEyHEY]

15. Ah his Idea musta been "Crazy fascists go health nazi"

[SoCalDem]

22. I hit the reply twice and deleted it

:)

[DS1]

8. cheesy one first

Barkeep only pushes barley, no ifs ands, or butts

the rest
Barman threatens to take his butts and go home
Pendejo beer-swiller no match for local editor, says editor *L*
Dey took err-job!
Bartender threatens to make livers suffer alone, now that lungs are spared

/ got nothin

[HEyHEY]

14. I'd love to use the last one - but it's too long and could get me in troub

ble!

[DS1]

16. I got it

Livers quiver, lungs breathe sigh of relief

:7

[HEyHEY]

17. Doesn't fit the story though

The story is the guy is pissed off that he can't allow smoking in his bar anymore OH THE HORROR!

[Spider Jerusalem]

10. Publican Peeved at Puffing Proscription.

Short, snappy, and alliterative.

[HEyHEY]

12. I was thinking of using publican

But none of the yokels in this town would get it

[Spider Jerusalem]

18. Barman Balks at Butt Ban, then?

[BQueen]

20. good one! n/t

[HEyHEY]

21. ooo that's good too

[BlueHandDuo]

28. Barman Bummed By Butt Ban

[HEyHEY]

35. another good one

[henslee]

46. Butt Ban Bums Barman

[SoCalDem]

23. No Ifs, ands, or Butts

:)

[HEyHEY]

26. too short

I've got about four columns set at 38 point

[Lancer]

24. Local barkeep has nic fit

[Kadie]

25. Patrons can't puff has barkeep in a huff

:D

[nikatnyte]

27. "Smoking ban has barman fuming"

[HEyHEY]

29. another good one

[DS1]

31. Right to finger butts infringed upon, says Barman

[HEyHEY]

33. You trying to get me fired?

:-)

[LibertyorDeath]

30. A No Puff Pisser

This stuff writes itself :)

[LibertyorDeath]

32. OK.....OK....

A NO PUB PUFF PISSER

[HEyHEY]

34. I don't know that "Pisser" in 38 point typs would go over well

With head office

[LibertyorDeath]

37. .

:)

[HEyHEY]

36. YOU GUYS ARE GOOD - Let's try another...../

Okay a story about these five women called "Breast Buddies" who have been doing fundrasing for breast cancer to raise money to go to a big walk. They raised their dough and went - it was a good success - any ideas?

[Spider Jerusalem]

38. Breast Buddies Bank Big Bucks?

[SoCalDem]

39. Bosom Buddies Banking on Breakthrough

:)

[HEyHEY]

42. not bad - anything without the same letters?

We did that once, I don't wann aget hung

[SoCalDem]

40. Bosom Buddies Walk..Tell Breast Cancer to Take a Hike

:)

[HEyHEY]

41. Can you shorten it?

[SoCalDem]

43. Bosom Buddies: Breast Cancer, Take a Hike

:)

[HEyHEY]

44. Perhaps, I'll see if it fits

[camero]

55. Buddies raise funds for breasts...cancer that is.

[henslee]

45. Bar Owner Bums Over Smokes

[HEyHEY]

49. Not bad

I've already chosen it though sorry!

[henslee]

51. No! Wait! no fair! Gimme a chance! Come on! You cant do this to me!!

[nickgutierrez]

47. Smoking ban leaves barkeep fuming

[HEyHEY]

48. that's a good one too

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

50. Publican Fumes Over Ban

or

Owner Smoking Over Ban

Barman's Beef With Ban

or

Right-wing fuckwad feels that second-hand smoke is good for his business, so fuck everyone else who wants to come in.

take your pick

[Dude_CalmDown]

52. "Pub Owner Forced to Kick Butts Out" or "Kiss That Ash Goodbye"

*

[HEyHEY]

53. haha

I may change the chosen one for that last one!

[camero]

54. Pubbie Peeved at Butt Ban

:shrug: Or, "Barflies can't smoke, Pubs lose patrons".

[JSJ]

56. pub owner can still be 'quick with joke', but not with smoke nt