WHAT DO FREEPERS LOOK LIKE?

[newscaster]

I have been to the creepy freepy website and have read some of their drivel and I have been trying to imagine what they look like.
Now this is just a guess since I have never knowingly seen one on the street or at the zoo.

FREEPY MEN:
1. Old, cracked muddy work boots they now try to pass off as combat boots from Operation Desert Storm or Vietnam.
2. Camouflage pants that saw better days when Lincoln was alive.
3. Faded and torn US Marine Corps t-shirts purchased at a thrift store.
4. Baseball caps with the Caterpillar Logo on the front but worn at an angle to demonstrate their IQ level. (You lose 5 IQ points for every degree to the rear you wear these caps.)
5. Beer bellies large enough that their belt buckle have not seen daylight in decades.
6. Brown teeth and Fingers from smoking Camels. (The cigarette)
7. Tattoos so faded, even they cant describe the picture. Mostly on arms and chests. No armband tattoos.
8. Three teeth. Two on bottom, one on top.
9. Breath bad enough to peel paint.
10 Hair gnarly enough to be uncombable.
11.Name: Ernest, Bubba, Jim-Boy, Sue.

FREEPY WOMEN:
1. Ragged house dress, purchased in the fifties.
2. Fuzzy slippers.
3. Raspy voice from years of smoking.
4. Varicose Veins on their legs, belly and nose.
5. Half of one finger missing in turkey beheading mishap.
6. Brown teeth and remaining fingers from years of smoking and chewing.
7. Middle School vocational diploma.
8. One time Miss Sawmill Princess.
9. Hog Calling contest runner up.
10. Raises piglets as house pets
11. Owns three guns, one a Civil War Musket that still works.
12. Name: Romena, Louisie, Maybelle and Mammy.
13. Has no children to speak of.

I think I am in love!!!!!
:crazy:

[JuniorPlankton]

1. Great description

I think I can see them now!

[rkc3]

14. You'd think with three teeth it would easier to keep them clean.

[Dzimbowicz]

2. If you and your spouse have the same haircut

y'all just might be freepers. Not too long ago I saw a couple and both had identical mullets. However, in my state, SC, that is not all that uncommon.

[DS1]

3. No children to speak of? Don't you mean 14?

:shrug:

[Blue-Jay]

4. The brow-ridge always tips me off.

Yet somehow, they like to deny evolution.

[yardwork]

5. I know one and you are right.

It's a female freeper and she looks just like your description, except you forgot to mention bright red home-dye job on the frizzy hair and the perpetual sour look. Her husband is a male freeper and he looks just like your description plus the sour scowl. Only time they laugh is when they tell a lame job about Bill Clinton and I wouldn't really call it a laugh it is more like the sound a demented chimp makes.

[Kid_A]

6. Come on! Someone post the Default Freeper Pic!!

You know which one, the guy with the mullet and the sign!!

[JimmyJazz]

10. 'tay

[JimmyJazz]

11. Here's a family portrait...

[Ron Green]

15. Mulletude!!

[ronnykmarshall]

12. I would but I got in trouble last time.

[JimmyJazz]

16. how so?

[ronnykmarshall]

17. Long story ...

In a nutshell, I wasn't being "PC".

[Ganja Ninja]

7. Sort of like a casting call for the movie Deliverance.

:silly: :crazy:

[Burma Jones]

8. Other Types

Freepy Men:

Subtype A. The Freep Nerd
1. Exceptionally skinny
2. Fearful Eyes
3. Unwashed Hair
4. A Christian Fish pin on a second hand plaid shirt
5. Drives a Dodge Omni, Light Blue


Subtype B. Suburban Macho Coward
1. Neatly Groomed
2. Chinos
3. Polo Shirt
4. Class Ring
5. Blank Eyes
6. Drives a Hummer


Subtype C. Freeper Intellectual
1. See Lyn Nofziger or Grover Norquist

[WoodrowFan]

9. photo

humm,,

[tjwash]

13. here's some

mmmmmmmmmmmmm Pigs Feet.



I got a gun, and it aint teeny, makes up for my little weenie



FRIIIIIIIEEEEENDS. I wanta talk to you about JEEEEE-SUS



Yeah baby, I got what you want, I got what you NEED


And of course, the ultimate freeper:

[SemiCharmedQuark]

18. Geeee-orge Dubya, Pre-see-dent naught naught zero