Well, I'm stuck with your mugs tonight. This better be good.

[HEyHEY]

I thought I was going to hit the town tonight - but it appears no. SO! It's you lot, me Eric Burden and the Animals and a bottle of rye.

Entertain me dammit!

[da_chimperor]

1. We could trade newfie jokes

Got any?

[HEyHEY]

3. How do you get a one-armed Newfie out of a tree?

Wave.

[da_chimperor]

7. How do you sink a submarine full of newfies?

Knock on the hatch.

[HEyHEY]

12. There's a Newfie driving across Canada

HE's got all of "Tings" on top of the car including a Canoe. He hits the prairies and starts getting homesick when he sees the wheat waving back and forth (it kinda looks like the ocean).
SO he figures "Why da hell nyot"
And proceeds to get his canoe put it in the field and sit around.
Another Newfie drives by and sees this and stops his car.
"Hey bye! Watcha doing?" He asks
"Oh nutin I just got a little homesick," answers the first Newfie.
"It's Newfies like you dat gives da rest of us a bad name!" Says the Newfie in the car. "And if I could swim, I'd come out der and tump ya!"

[da_chimperor]

14. LOL, that's a great one.

Mind if I steal it and send it to some canadian pals? :D

[HEyHEY]

16. "Fly at er!"

There's a bit of Okanagan slang for ya!

Also, You might think it's goofy. But the manin the moon is a newfie! He's sailing on to glory as he floats in his golden dory!

[da_chimperor]

20. You know your from Newfoundland when....

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.
- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find -40C a little nippy.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- You can play road hockey on skates.
- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.

[da_chimperor]

17. How do you confuse a Newfie?

You put his welfare check in his boot.

[JVS]

2. I have a fucking cold

Besides I'm too lame to drink a bunch

[Kierkegaard]

4. Here goes nuthin'

>>>juggling<<<

[HEyHEY]

6. Warheads? More like DEFUSED nuclear warheads!

Old Far side joke

[Kierkegaard]

11. Er, huh?

[HEyHEY]

13. There's a farside comic

Where a bunch of people are watching a juggling act. The sign says. "Tonight, the great mancini will juggle SIX nuclear warheads" ANd in the frame he's drop them and a guy is yelling "More like defuse nuclear war heads if you ask me!"

[Kierkegaard]

15. Ah. Thanks for the explanation.

Maybe I'll stick to spinning plates on sticks.

[JVS]

5. here, check this out

http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop/

[HEyHEY]

10. I'm on Dial up on a computer I bought a Moses' garage sale

Took too long to load

[tedoll78]

8. I'm too nervous anyway.

What are we, about 242 hours away from the start of midnight voting in Dixville's Notch, NH? Time seems to be sitting still tonight.

[PSU84]

9. There's lots of bugs on some of these mugs,

but there ain't no bugs on me!

[johnnie]

18. What Animals?

I got to meet Eric and Alan Price one time. A highlight of my life. Eric is the man.

[HEyHEY]

19. My Pal left the Essential Animals here

I gots it all baby! Well, not all of it. But a good chunk. Eric is the man, I don't get why we have no true asskicker groups like that anymore.

[HEyHEY]

21. Like THE Animals they're here right now!

Damn that would been funier earlier