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My partner of ten years is a veteran. He was in Junior ROTC in high school, and after graduating college, when money was tight and prospects were slim, he joined the Army. He served honorably for five years- the Gulf war kept him in past his original date, then he served another six years in the inactive reserves.
My partner was in the infantry. He was an enlisted man. His head is full of arcane military terms. He knows what dirt feels like under an army boot. He knows what it's like to watch CNN at 3 in the morning, wondering if you're going to have to leave your safe home and go far away, maybe have to take a life, maybe have to lose your own. We talk about that experience often when we see the news reports: three killed in Afghanistan, two dead in Iraq, helicopter crash kills four. They rarely tell you their names. They rarely show you their faces. They never show you their coffins.
"It's like they never existed," my partner says. Of course, it's worse when they show their names, their hometowns, their ages. "That guy's younger than you. That guy's from my old unit. That one was older than me! What was he doing in Iraq? You know, that could be me out there,"
I never know what to say at times like this, because it could be him.
My partner's a big, macho guy. He's 6'5". He's got a full beard and a beer belly. He snores like you wouldn't believe. In ten years I've seen him cry maybe four times. Once was when our dog died. Once was when we saw Farenheit 9/11. He held my hand tightly in the dark, crying. I don't have to tell you what made him cry. If you've seen the movie, you know. You were probably crying, too. But were you angry?
My partner walked out of Farenheit 9/11 so angry it frightened me.
When people find out my partner is a veteran and a Kerry supporter, they often aren't sure what to make of him. If they're polite, they'll ask him about his choice. If they're not so polite, they'll question whether or not he's actually a veteran.
Whether or not he's actually a veteran? Because he thinks Bush is a callow, careless man unworthy of the title of Commander in Chief. Because he doesn't believe being a veteran means being a silent symbol of American might and the American presidency. Because he believes supporting the troops means questioning this war.
My partner was offended by the revelation that Bush took the image of a handful of soldiers and photoshopped them into a phalanx of support. My partner was offended that Bush treated these individuals as toy soldiers; wind them up, watch them vote GOP. My partner feels that this encapsulates the Bush doctrine when it comes to veterans: you are a faceless, voiceless symbol. Stand at attention and salute sharply and we'll keep your wounds quiet and we'll keep your deaths secret. Everyone loves a hero, after all.
My partner and I used to argue about Clinton. "I expect my president to be a better man than I am," he'd say. I think you should remember the president is a man, I'd reply. Now, my partner and I agree on Bush.
My partner of ten years told me this morning he will never vote for a Republican again. And I believe him.
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