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My parents got divorced when I was little and my father pretty much abandoned me. He moved down to Virginia had a house built (meanwhile providing zero child support until my mother took him to court) and quietly re-married without telling anyone. Now he is advancing in years and is ill (he's a diabetic and he suffered a mild stroke a couple of weeks ago).
My mom, to her credit, has been very civil despite the things that went on (my father's drinking, womanizing, emotional abuse, etc.). She has maintained the position through the years that my relationship with my father is my business, and she's never tried to stop me from talking to him or anything. I'm 23 and around the time I turned 18 my father all of a sudden started calling me up. He's supposedly gotten religion and wants to make amends but I am just so completely cynical at this point because in the past when I have given him chances to do right by me he has without fail let me down. Honestly I think he is just feeling guilty because he is old and basically alone--he has screwed over everyone in his life at one point or another, my stepmother is wheelchair-bound and has cancer and he's stuck taking care of her. His actions have alienated everyone and he really doesn't have anyone. The recent illness has made me re-evaluate a lot of things but I have a lot of bitterness. I know it's not healthy and that I need to work through it but it's just really hard.
I appreciate your post, because sometimes I think people just don't realize the power of that parent-child bond and what it can do to a person to be rejected by a parent. Some just don't care about the damage they are doing until it is too late.
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