Are there more sad things in life or more happy things?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

I was just wondering.

[Stew225]

1. answer: yes. eom

[tjdee]

2. Sad--which is why happy means more.

As Khalil Gibran says, sadness carves deep into your soul so that you are able to fill it with more joy than if there was no sadness...or something like that.

He says it better. :)

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

15. That is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever heard.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

4. just lately more sad things

[A-Schwarzenegger]

16. Maybe it's like the seasons or the tides.

[miss_kitty]

5. you choose your reaction to what is

the things are just that, things, events, whatever. You paste happy, sad, funny, annoying on those things based on who you are, what your experiences are, hormones, mood, whatever.

An example: I used to get majorly upset at drivers who were asshats. Every time. Now, after working on it, not so much. I still get upset sometimes, but my attitude has been adjusted (like "I make mistakes too," "OK you can be in front if it's that important to you," "Oops you made a mistake! No prob!" "I'm not the enforcer. If you want to exceed the speed limit, I'll pull over so you can pass."). All of the parenthetical self-chat has replaced :"You asshole!" "You GD asshole!" and "You GD, M-effin' asshole," along with other cherce phraseology. Not every time, but most times.

So I'd say, in my case, happy. I hope.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

6. If youre serene driving, youre serene...

[miss_kitty]

8. Oh I am not exactly serene

but I'm a lot less pissed off, mostly, now when I drive.

[bettyellen]

11. except when actual bad things happen. which wouldn't include traffic jams.

when people die, it sucks and you just have to remember it hurts because it was so good.
when you're stuck in traffic, you just have to learn to amuse yourself with the radio or learn to be patient and grateful that you have a car! And someplace to go!

[miss_kitty]

12. Again, YOU are the chooser of the reaction you have

whether or not it involves death, birth, naughty children, rude adults or traffic. I chose traffic and driving as a simple example.

:)

[shesemsmom]

7. More sad lately

I find tears in my eyes more and more often

[A-Schwarzenegger]

17. Tears sting because they are the pee of angels.

I heard that one time.

[shesemsmom]

18. Thanks

I'll remember that

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

9. More happy, I think. n/t

[amazona]

10. the 2nd law of thermodynamics says...

..there are more sad things in life. Sorry. This is why we've got to make a point to treasure the happy and the good.

[burythehatchet]

13. Things cannot be happy or sad

Things are as they are
There is stimulus
There is response
In between those two only man has the ability to choose his response - happy or sad or not

[A-Schwarzenegger]

14. How do you know?

[burythehatchet]

19. I know I don't know. That's how I know. ya know?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

20. I knew it.

[salin]

22. too lazy to read the whole thread

just peeked to see when your most recent post was (since the thread started this afternoon) - to see if you were still around... (how obnoxious of a response is this...) :hi:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

23. I knew you'd be checking up on me.

And that makes me happy/sad.
I don't know what I'm talking about but
I just remembered Tim Buckley.
Name of one of his albums was Happy/Sad.

[salin]

24. yin and yang are cool

the symbols make cool earings...

[A-Schwarzenegger]

29. But you have to make sure you dont put them on the wrong ears.

[salin]

31. interesting question

as to what would happen if the yin earing went on the yang ear...

could someone have done that in Ukraine?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. I was just thinking along those same lines...

A better question would be, "Do you choose happiness more than sadness?"

[A-Schwarzenegger]

27. Do you choose happiness more than sadness?

That anteater looks happy as ever, sauntering along
looking for ants doo-be-doo.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

32. I think I choose both pretty equally; but

with matters concerning Dumbyass and his sleazy war; sadness prevails.

Thank god for anteaters, music, good friends and my dear little boy!

[salin]

30. er... some events do not leave us such a choice...

when tragedy happens it is hard to "choose" to be happy.

Generally speaking I take a "I grow from the challenges life has given me and end up benefitting in the end... if I chose to embrace it and do so.."

However when a friend reflected a similar philosophy... I bristled. Yes there are times in which this is true... but I simply cannot look back to a few events (such as having been raped) and say.. but in the end I am glad that it happened because I grew because of it. While I chose to have a more "empowering" view on life (where we grow, we make things happen, and "chose to view things in a more positive light)... there are some events I chose not to which apply this philosophy. Even with a bigger picture view than I had at the time of the event... I simply do not think I 'needed' to be raped in order to 'be who I am today' (or other sentiments that take a "happy" view on events.)

[burythehatchet]

33. perhaps you're needlessly limiting yourself to only those two emotions

happy and sad. The complexity of emotion that human beings have is so incredibly lush in my view. Rage, anger, sorrow, euphoria are some of the more intense expressions of our emotional range. We use all of these and then add in the less intense, more complex and incredibly healing emotions such as empathy, altruism, piety.

Our power to heal arises out of our emotional reactions, their impact on neurotransmitters, and the resulting mind-body interactions.

My personal view on this is that all emotions are valid, they should be embraced at the time when it is appropriate to do so, and then released. Mental illness arises when we become stuck in one emotion. Just my personal amateurish opinion. :)

[salin]

34. Not amateur, at all

count me as one who didn't deal for a long time... then finally pulled it out and let a range of emotions run their course... imo, this is what let healing begin, not in a "it never happened" sorta way (which many folks try to do - which takes a huge toll)... but in the recognition of what happened and understanding my response in the intervening years.. in a "ah, it now makes sense" sorta way. But getting to that point took a process not much different than what you suggest... To me the trick is not getting to the place where one ends up endlessly dwelling within one of those (akin to your description of a scenario that can lead to mental illness.)

[burythehatchet]

37. "ah, it now makes sense"

that feeling is something quite remarkable, is it not? It sort of is the answer flashed across your eyes. That peek through the window into an understanding of our "cosmic" potential is, to me, a temporary surge in my spiritual energy. I get closer to identifying with the permanent me, and not the temporal me. Those are the times that the energy I draw is so intense it spills over to others who can bask in it, making me feel even more whole and unified. Or, more simply put, adversity builds character.

[salin]

38. yes, and no

I am in agreement to the last statement. The insight into how and why we have responded to things in different ways, I find is exceptionally freeing. For me it allows a letting go of different emotions (anger, guilt, resentment, etc.).. very healthy.

However, I would still contend that while there may be healthier ways of dealing with adversity than others... in and of itself, not all adversity is needed or warranted to "build character". Perhaps the dealing with adversity lets us better understand our character (and due to that understanding, perhaps have that character grow and/or alter)... but that is as far as I would go when it comes to things that sounds like 'assessing the benefits' of some very horrible life events.

[UrbScotty]

21. Happy - we just need to look for the happy things.

Happy things are less obvious, but I think they're more prominent.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

28. Sorrow isn't a bad thing...

Compassion springs from sorrow and pain.

We need happiness to keep from becoming despondant.

[SarahB]

25. Sometimes they're all intertwined.

It's the fate of our humanity, our journey, etc. The bitter and the sweet all in one.

[Carson]

35. I would say more happy things.

I bought a house this year and money can be tight, but I'm making it on my own.

I have a decent job.

I live in a wonderful, small, Southern town were people are friendly.

I have an incredible kid who makes every day an adventure.

My family lives nearby and we all actually enjoy getting together every week.

My health is good.

Yep, all in all, I think I have much to be thankful for.

[St. Jarvitude]

36. See my signature quote

Figure it out for yourself :)

[Skittles]

39. I suspect some people may be luckier than others

I seem to get a lot sad things in my life for sure

[A-Schwarzenegger]

40. I'm sorry, Skittles.

Lean on family and friends a lot
and then lean some more.

[mwdem]

41. I'm so sorry, Skittles

this is truly a sad time in you life, but we are all with you, you can count on that! My love to you....
:hug:

[Skittles]

45. someone told me "this is a test"

and I yelled HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO BE TESTED???!!!!!

[A-Schwarzenegger]

48. Maybe it is, maybe it isnt...

Who knows? But we gotta go through the pain, and I
used to go through it denying it and all alone, and
now I go through it with others and letting it out as
much as I can and honestly as I can, and often not all that
gracefully. My father died suddenly when I was young and
it remains the most powerful event in my life, partly
because that's the way it is and partly because nobody
talked about it and everybody tried to just fake being
strong. When my mom died everybody knew it was coming and
me and my sisters were there with her for her last weeks
and I guess you could say it was partly a beauitiful experience.
I do believe somehow someday it's all going to miraculously
make sense, but the best I can do now is try to be there
for other people and let other people into my heart and
every once in a while let myself be in a state of plain wonder
at all the things I don't understand. Bless you, Skittles.

[progressoid]

42. Yes

BTW, WTF is 'EOM'?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

43. Energy Obfuscates Mass.

No. End Of Message. I.e., no text in the messagebox.

[progressoid]

44. Oh, Thanks. Now I can sleep soundly. EOM

[Tsiyu]

46. It's Sunday Morning.

I love Sunday mornings, when the kids are still sleeping and I can surf the web and pick my git-fiddle real quietly. Sunday guitar picking is one of the best things in life.

Most days, I try to Zen it, be in the moment, capture the essence and the meaning of the present. On bad days, everyone and every thing sucks.

To quote our Fearless Leader, it's hard work to reorganize the mind. I view it like a computer running Windows ( gawd - Bill Gates and * in the same paragraph *aaackkkk*). Some thoughts provide links to open other thoughts. WE can choose to click on the link or not.

But other thoughts are like Adware, popping up, no file to put them in, unless you make a real effort to create some files to hold them...

Hard to explain, so I'm going to go play guitar now and stop thinking...

[A-Schwarzenegger]

47. Funny, good, true.

I just finished meditating, after majorly catching
up on lost sleep. It rained here heavy yesterday, right
after we got our new fridge delivered, and then the wind
blew all night and it's clear as a crystal bell right now.
Got my big orange mug of java and going to write. Thanks
for the responses.