Why am I such a hopeless romantic

[ProudGerman]

*disclaimer*- I'm heavily, ummmm, drunk. Haven't drank in months, but felt like it now. Pay no mind to bad grammar, or spelling. Non-sensical ramblings should also be giving very little weight.

On to the subject. Why am I a hopeless romantic? Where did this feeling that this specific woman is the only one for me come from? How in the world did it come to pass that no matter what happens, that I only care about seeing her happy? Then I contradict myself by fighting even harder for her while she slowly pushes me away. I don't even want to think about looking elsewhere.

Should I continue on this roller coaster of high hopes, and crashing against jagged rocks of rejection? I'd gladly do it for her. Anyone else who pushes me away, and I'm gone forever, never been one to push the issue. But she.....has a hold on me. Can't explain it, nor would I even bother trying. I look at her, and I see something magnificent.....don't know what to do.

Well, it felt good to get that out of me. Now, to just send it out into cyberspace, and witness the ridicule, the challenges to be a man, the statements that being so fixated on one person is unhealthy. To hell with that I say!



Having to piss every 20 minutes sucks, I have no clue how you pregnant women cope with it.

[deek]

1. odd, isn't it???

I can relate to your details.

My suggestion: drink vodka or wine. You don't have to urinate as much as with beer.

:shrug:

on edit: Interesting...my heritage is german/ukranian also.

[number9]

2. you are not drunk enough

more ale should get you to the point where I would be able to respond intelligently.

dark ale. preferably homemade.

[SOteric]

3. Ah.

What a sweet, baffling torture.

[RememberJohn]

4. Been there... many times...

Once a friend set me down when I was on the verge of stalking a woman who had dumped me, and said:

"Do you love her"

Yes I replied.

"Then let her go!"

[number9]

5. but then she would just come back and bug the hell out of you

yup

[RememberJohn]

6. Yeah, just when you let her go finally....

I think women see relationships in more layers than men. Women can rip one layer off (lover) and still want the other layers (friend, brother-figure, father-figure)

Us guys? ALL OR NOTHING!!!!!

[ProudGerman]

8. I would like that actually

Though, she never really bugged me. I cherished every bit of it, even the times when I walked away in a huff I knew I couldn't live without it.

[RememberJohn]

10. Every girl who ever dumped me...

...always came back around some time down the road. Just consider it goodbye for now.

[Kenneth ken]

7. hopeful - not hopeless

that said; you have my sympathy. I've gone through what you're feeling.

my best advice: run away! run away!


you can't make someone love you. If you keep pursuing her and she keeps rejecting you, the best you can hope for is she will become completely indifferent to you.

Tuck this away in your mind to think about: if a woman you were not attracted to were pursuing you relentlessly, would you become more attracted to her? Or would you be by turns, sympathetic, embarrassed, irritated, angry, and finally just bored with it all?

[ProudGerman]

9. Shut up, I don't need logic in a time like this.

Heh. Yeah, you're right, and I hate you for it.:P

[RememberJohn]

11. Also, if you leave on good terms...

..there might be another chance sometime down the line. Of course, at that point, you may not want her! But if you relentlessly pursue her, she may remember you as a psycho.

Think about it.

[ProudGerman]

12. no no no

It seems I have given the wrong impression. Its not the "get away from me", put nicely, stuff that I'm getting from her. Its the "woah, we're talking about the rest of my life I wanna take a break from this stuff" fear that I'm talking about.

I've dealt with the "get away from me" put nicely stuff before, it doesn't bother me. I know she still loves me, we still interact fairly regularly. Since I can't really say for sure, I attribute it to fear the slowly being pushed away feeling I have. But then again, I'm no in condition to really analyze things.

[RememberJohn]

13. Give her space then...

Listen to this story.

I'm full of them.

A friend of mine was in the same boat. He said, fine, just let me see you once a month. And you can do anything else you want to. You can see other guys, whatever. Give me one date a month.

He eventually married her.

Tying someone down before they're ready is an recipe for doom later.

[ProudGerman]

14. Thanks

It makes alot of sense coming from somebody other than her, and it hurts a whole lot less too.

You're advice appears sound, I'm gonna give that a try. Man, this is gonna be hard.

Thanks again, now I've got something I need to go sleep off. Thanks again.

[freedude]

15. My tactic-

was always this- if I was really enamoured of a woman, I`d ignore her-they can`t stand it, it drives `em crazy- they like the attention, and when they can`t have it, they have to pursue YOU- to find out why they`re being ignored. Just blow her off for a while, and see what happens. I know the women are going to trash me on this, but so be it. I`m thick skinned, and what I`m telling you is true. Good luck, pal.

[RememberJohn]

17. When you're right you're right!

[ForrestGump]

16. I seem to have lived on that same rollercoaster

And I'm definitely a fellow 'hopeless romantic.' Or, as I wrote in long-ago diaries, a hopeful romantic. Either way, it seemed that people like us are almost destined to get beaten up quite severely by our own passion and by the reality of who we feel it for. That's pretty hopeless. Don Quixote lives.

I actually got off that rollercoaster that you're on, for a while, and went for myself. I had nothing to do with females in a romantic sense. It was great. I learned a lot. Broke the cycle....all of that good stuff. Now that I'm nominally 'back in the market,' I'm not sure which way to go. Do I live like a hermit, and deny myself what good might come of a romantic relationship while ensuring that my heart can be broken only by transient loneliness or do I enter the fray again and risk it all? Do I knock down the walls that I built, too late, to protect myself or do I keep my guard up, my chin down, and my expectations 'realistic'?

I do know one thing - there are more women out there who are probably better for you than is the one that you're currently obsessing over. I know that because I've been there often enough, and I only wish that I'd withdrawn (no, not in that way) long before I did, which was pretty much when I was shattered entirely. The thing that I don't know is what your next move should be. If I can't even decide for myself, how can I give anyone else advice? One thing's for sure, and that is that you're probably going to come this way again, unless you find that perfect, elusive match. I wish you luck, because you're not likely to suddenly 'snap out of' your basic, romantic character.

I hope that you can pull out before it's too late, anyway. When is it too late? When is it a lost cause? Only you know that, and the problem with being a romantic is that you often don't know (or do know, and deny) when all is lost, because we windmill-tilters specialize in lost causes.