Pick-up lines: Best, worst, funniest?

[GreenPartyVoter]

Nomination for worst: "Say, haven't I...._done_ you before?"

I say Weird Al wins, just for the sheer number of them. *l*

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you'd like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)


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[Sandpiper]

1. Worst:

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

[ohiosmith]

2. See this cold sore baby. Before the nights over, you'll have one too.

You decide.

[StopTheMorans]

13. I got the HIV and I'm ready to give.

[roguevalley]

3. so, what's your sign per se?

[russian33]

4. "Nice legs! When do they open?"

[GreenPartyVoter]

11. *lol*

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[bif]

5. I'm gonna go out in my car and screw. Wanna join me?

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. Ok. This one got a laugh outta me too. :^P

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[aden_nak]

6. Do you use Windex on your pants? 'Cause I can see myself in them!

[Jessica]

7. Funny one:

I was a waitress in college at a local bar & one night I went to a table of guys & asked, "What can I get you all?" To which one Busch-in-a-can guzzling redneck replied, "Yeah - I'll have one waitress with nothin' on it .. to go please."

Disgusting? Yes. But, it made me laugh. :)

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Yeah, I woulda laughed too. :^)

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Save this nation one town, county, and state at a time!
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[specimenfred1984]

8. Can You Still Smell The Puke On My Breath?

These zits on my back feel like tumors!

[Memekiller]

9. Wanna do what I told my friends we did already?

[GreenPartyVoter]

12. Smooth *l*

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[KamaAina]

10. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Too pathetic even for me :-)

[Debi]

16. Your dad must be a baker

cuz you have great buns

or

Your dad must be a theif
cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes
(this one came w/a rose for extra cheeziness!)

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Definitely cheesy *l*

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[stpalm]

18. Those pants look good on you....

but they would look even better crumpled up on my bedroom floor.

[GreenPartyVoter]

19. Yeah.. that's been around for ages.*g*

[stpalm]

20. its a classic

had to post it

[GreenPartyVoter]

21. Kick

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Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/

[UrbScotty]

22. Are you from Tennessee?

You're the only Ten I See!

[Merrick]

23. Back Door Beauty?

Compliments of Dr. Gonzo

[Merrick]

24. You wanna go out sometime? You know - out back?

[Patiod]

25. "Did you pick up on the themes of redemption and rebirth

during 'A Very Brady Christmas' last night?" (Yes this dates me)

Said by a guy wearing a bow tie, who looked like Al Franken (at best). We just cracked up.

Wouldn't have given him time of day otherwise, but we ended up hanging out with him for years. Very funny guy.

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. So, whatever happened to him. :^)

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Would Jesus love a liberal? You bet!
http://timeforachange.bluelemur.com/