Should I end friendship with friend who says "Tsunami due to idolatry?"

[David__77]

I have had ONE friend who is to the right of center in the political spectrum. We were very young when we met, she was 16 actually, and though I knew she had suspect religious views, I figured that she would grow into her own, more reasonable views later on.

In some ways this has happened. She is pro-choice on abortion, supports marriage rights for same-sex couples, opposes the war in Iraq, LOVED Fahrenheit 9/11 (so she says), and voted for requiring employers to provide health insurance here in California.

Two things have happened though:

1) She voted for Bush. She said "there's no difference between the two. Kerry never said what he would do in Iraq and with things the way they are (the war) I don't want to rock the boat." This was infuriating, but an example of how "soft" much of his support was, due to "being in wartime."

2) Yesterday she said that the tsunami was perhaps a result of an angry God against nations reveling in "idolatry." I told her that this would be a god of evil undeserving of anyone's praise.

Today I e-mailed her a flier by "God Hates Fags" Rev. Phelps praising the tsunami for killing "faggot Swedes." She called me and said she was "hurt." Well, as they say, if the shoe fits.

Years ago, she said that it "might be a good thing they haven't found a cure for AIDS. People need to take responsibility." I was horrified then, and I am horrified now. I had hoped that things would improve.

I'm torn. I like her as a person, notwithstanding the negative religious bouts (that happen to correspond with her being emotionally upset). If I cut off relations, I feel that I will have wronged her. She is backward in her thinking, but I tend to feel that it's actually a responsibility for me to remain her friend (while perhaps at a distance!) and hope to educate her over time.

What do you think? What would you do?

[Inland]

1. She sounds okay. Her god, however, seems like a murderous asshole.

Ask her to not bring him to any parties.

[progmom]

2. You have to find a balance.

You're friends, you have a lot of time invested in the relationship. If you can hang out without her driving you crazy, then do it. Maybe you can show her that she's got a screwy perspective.
But if you truly can no longer respect her, then neither of you are benefiting from this friendship and you should quietly let it fade.

[saltpoint]

3. Send her on an Outward Bound expedition with --

-- Hunter Thompson, Bill Moyers, Angela Davis, Robert Redford, MoDo, Howard Dean, Katha Pollitt, and a handful of others.

When she comes back she's still your friend but she'll have a damn clue about what's going on in the real world.

[cally]

4. It sounds like you have made a difference in her

views. I would keep talking to her and explaining things. I don't want to change your thread but I'm curious. How do those cultures have more idolatry than our own? I was taught that the pursuit of money in our culture was idolatry? I just don't understand some Christians.

[David__77]

13. This is her definition of "idolatry."

It is defined to her as not being nominally "Christian." Of course this has nothing to do with living according to the principles which she claims to uphold (but truly does not). The same logic of her opinion on the tsunami would lead one to say the same thing about an earthquake in this country that killed many thousands, for instance.

I asked, "did God cause the genocide of the Jews because they 'engaged in idolatry?'" Quickly, she said "no, because there are truly evil people in the world" (those who committed genocide). That's an artful dodge, but I think that the logic would apply here too. Then she went on a disjointed tangant about how people condemn Christians for talking about a vengeful god, but are "OK" with the vengefulness of Roman gods like the god of war. Huh?

[cally]

14. Weird

Makes no sense but I expected that. Thanks for your reply.

[Systematic Chaos]

5. How much "good" is there in this friendship?

Is there enough to counter the "bad"? I know I'd be pretty upset hearing that kind of thing. Whether or not I could just take it with a grain of salt would depend entirely upon whether the majority of the time I spent with this person was worthwhile and satisfying. If it isn't, then there's no reason not to move on. Only you can decide that, though.

[johnnie]

6. I have friends that think differently than I do

I know that I can't expect everyone to think the way I do. Sometimes it takes people a little longer to learn things and to have some experience that will show them the light.
My personal opinion is to stay away from conversation concerning the topics you two disagree on. Not everyone is going to think alike.

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. She sounds nucking futs.

Nothing wrong with that, I have some batshit-crazy friends myself. I don't see why you should abandon the friendship per se, but you might want to keep some walls up as far as emotional closeness. Crazy people need friends too -- but they can hurt you if you let your guard down.

[noonwitch]

8. Stay friends with her

You can't go through life expecting your friends to agree with you about everything.

[StopTheMorans]

11. but you can expect a reasonable degree of sanity with respect to them

not saying that hundreds of thousands of peoples deaths may be due to their own sin IMHO...

[neweurope]

9. A friend of mine thinks very, very differently from the way I do.

Once we didn't speak for almost a year. After that we agreed to NEVER talk politics again. It works - well, mostly :) The thing is: I love him. If I didn't I wouldn't be seen with somebody who holds his views. So if you like this woman enough maybe you can tell her to never speak of religion.

---------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[SnowGoose]

10. So, if bad things happen, it's because "god wants it to happen"

So.... 9-11 was because god was pissed about something?

Did he let the hitler and the holocost happen? That was kinda mean of him... the US was pretty isolationist then, and even we were finally willing to intervene - I wonder how it is that we miserable humans care more than god does. So tornadoes, and childhood leukemia, and spontaneous abortions... wow, god must be pissed off at a lot of people.

[ulTRAX]

12. is money idolatry?

If so then the US is just asking for a heap of trouble from her "God".

[Theres-a]

17. My thoughts exactly!

[Spacemom]

15. I can't imagine the hubris required

to claim to know what is in the mind of God.

:eyes:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

16. Run away like the plague. (nt)

[lectrobyte]

18. I'd keep trying. She sounds like she has some progressive

qualities, i.e., not a lost cause, and friends are too scarce anyway.

[MemphisTiger]

19. She sounds okay overall

I would just avoid the religious talk if it is a sticking point. Also, she may be repeating what many other people were talking about with respect to Muslim nations being destroyed by the Tsunami.

[Beer Snob-50]

20. if you like her as a person

than try not to talk politics or religion with her. Or if you do, then realize you will not agree and get ready for a intellicutal battle.

[Bouncy Ball]

21. At this point in my life, I would give her up.

But that's just where I am right now. I have sustained relationships with people like that (and worse) for many many years and tried and tried, in all kinds of ways, to help them out of their blindness and hatefulness.

To no avail.

By the way, does she realize the level of "idolatry" going on in the US? Idolatry doesn't just have to do with worshipping other gods!!!! We are one of the most idolatrous (is that a word? LOL) cultures on the planet!!!!

Do WE deserve a tsunami???

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

22. Every time a hurricane, tornado, flood or earthquake kills a Christian...

send her the article. Ask her why God did that.

Ask why he kills babies. Ask if it's a good thing that there's no cure for cancer, or Alzheimer's, or diabetes.

You're probably too nice to do any of that, but that's okay. You should stay friends with her if you like her and it's not doing you any harm.

Me, I would cut the religious chatter short with "Everybody dies. Who wants cake?"