How can my husband put on weight (serious question)

[Heddi]

Hi! Me again.

My husband, 32 years old, 5'10, 125 lbs. Has great metabolism, but he really wants to put on weight w/o eating high-fat foods.

He's really healthy and has a super high metabolism and just can't put any weight on. I'd have him go to a Dr/Nutritionist, but we don't have any insurance, and no $$ to pay for one out of pocket.

He's not wanting to eat high-fat foods b/c he doesn't want high cholesterol or any high-fat related problems (atherosclerosis, etc).

What can he do to bulk up? Just put on SOME weight? Should he do weight-training exercise? Protein Shakes?

I'm at a loss. I told him we could trade bodies, seeing as I'm obese :)

[GumboYaYa]

1. This is a problem that I have struggled with all my life.

Seriously, I'm not joking. People tell me I am insane for thinking this is a problem, but if you are not happy with your body type regardless of what it is, it can be a problem.

I have an exceptionally fast metabolism plus I am a long distance runner so it is impossible for me to maintain any body mass. I'm also a vegetarian, so I eat a very low fat diet.

To maintain my weight I have to eat at least one extra meal a day. When I am training for a marathon I eat two extra meals a day. I know I am not supposed to do it, but I eat dinner and then I eat again before I go to bed. If I go to five meals a day I eat an early lunch and an afternoon snack as well. I also keep trail mix and mixed nuts around to snack on during the day.

I have tried weight gain formulas and milk shake diets and anything else sold to gain weight. None of it works with me. It just speeds up my metabolism so I burn more at a higher cost.

Even when I'm at five meals a day I don't gain weight. I just maintain the weight I have, but that is better than losing weight when you don't want to.

[SOteric]

15. Nope, I understand. I'm have this problem for a different reason.

I'd add that one should think about doing the reverse of those who struggle to lose weight.

Eat your carbs at the end of the day when you're less likely to burn them off. To stay in the healthy range of fats, I still chose whole grains, fruits and vegies.

Snack all day long on nuts, nut butters, seeds and granola.

Consider dried fruits, where a great deal more caloric value is added because the water is extracted.

[BiggJawn]

51. Who says?

"When I am training for a marathon I eat two extra meals a day. I know I am not supposed to do it, but I eat dinner and then I eat again before I go to bed."

Where'd you get that from? The "Three Squares a Day" foundation?

Eat when your body tells you to.
My problem is that my body lies to me, the glutton...

[pmbryant]

2. That's certainly a different question

I used to have the problem myself. But then I got older and it went away. The same could happen to your husband eventually.

If he is healthy now, perhaps it's best to just stick with what's working well so far.

:shrug:

Otherwise, becoming a couch-potato would work (if he refuses to eat lots of ice cream), but also probably isn't very healthy in the long run.

--Peter

[AlCzervik]

3. What about the stuff they sell at GNC

it's like a powder you mix with milk i think, it's called Bulk up, Weight Gain.

[SoCalDem]

16. Please avoid those OTC "supplements"

When our son was a "jock", the coaches wanted the guys to "beef up", and told them that these things would help them do it.. I pitched a fit and made him check with the doctor first.. His doctor sad NOT to take those, because your body may react aversely to the stuff in them..and you could end up damaging your kidneys and liver..

My advice to you guys.. Be happy he;s thin.. as long as he';s healthy and has physical strength, his thinness will pay off in later life.. If you look at ppictures of famous people who were rail thin when they were young, you will see that most of them did gain weight as they aged.. The lower weight early on, could mean that the "age weight" will be kind to him :)

[B Calm]

4. Damn.. the way I love to eat, I wished I had your hubby's problem

[SnowGoose]

5. Maybe he body wants to be at that weight.

If you're bound and determined, why don't you have him eat fatty foods that are actually good for you? I'm thinking nuts - lotsa nuts.

Remember there are fats that are vital to human health, but which your body cannot make (for example the omega-3 fatty acids). Not all fat is bad.

[KerryReallyWon]

6. high carbohydrates for sure..

Lots of pasta and sugar....low fat items are full of sugar. that is why people lose weight eating high fat, and no sugar, aka Atkins...

go for carbo rich foods.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

13. Eat a lot of bread...

Bread is in low fat, but high in carbohydrates. Doubling up on the carbohydrates will probably make him gain weight.

[gold_bug]

7. weight training + protein?

I gained some weight, about 10 lbs, with a regimen of weight training and trying to increase the protein in my diet (I was a vegetarian). I tried to increase my overall calories and it seemed to help.

I know hardly anything about nutrition and health. It's not easy to gain weight when you're a dedicated ectomorph. :D

[TrogL]

8. Wait a few years

I used to be that skinny 'til I turned 40. Then I magically put on 14 pounds and stopped.

[UncleSepp]

9. Protein powders, complex carbohydrates

My husband also has that problem of finding it hard to keep weight on. Fats and sugars just won't do it, besides being unhealthy. I'm not a nutritionist either, but that's what worked for us :-)

Also, the same thing that helps for losing weight - many smaller meals - is also healthy for gaining and for keeping blood sugar level through the day. Make sure he has breakfast, lunch, and snacks. If it's permissible for him, a couple of pints of beer a night won't hurt, either.

Does hubby get crabby when he doesn't eat? Mine does. My male friends who can't keep weight on and have the same tall, thin body shape all get very crabby when they're hungry and are somewhat hypoglycemic.

[Heddi]

10. what types of powders does he use

We've looked online but it seems that every website we go to is hawking some product or another and it's hard to get an unbiased opinion of whether one product works more than another.

I'm not opposed to buying $45 worth of powder, but I'd hate to buy $45 powder that doesn't do anything but give him the toots when we could have good $25 powder that bulks him up :)

[UncleSepp]

29. He used a creatine powder

It was made for weightlifters, and the gym we went to put it in the orange juice with a banana to make some pretty tasty smoothies. Dried nonfat milk powder or soy protein powder (something you might find in a store that caters to vegetarians and vegans) would probably be a better and cheaper alternative. If the milk-based stuff makes him float blankets, you might want to go with the soy ;-)

Here's a nice handout from UCLA that isn't selling anything:

http://www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Resources/Handouts/HOWtGain.pdf

[Heddi]

31. That UCLA page is great!!!

That's what we've been looking for! Thanks so much!

[goodboy]

11. banannas...(nt)

[welshTerrier2]

12. those were the good old days ....

money or not, it's important to start with a good check-up to make sure there isn't a medical reason he's so thin ... btw, i used to be this exact height and weight when i was in high school ... 5'10" - 125 lbs ... i was a walking skeleton ...

with the medical stuff ruled out, the goal should probably be to add muscle rather than just "weight" ... sounds like a good weight training program would be a good idea ... but a balanced program that includes aerobics should also be included ... aerobic fitness is important even if it makes it harder to gain weight ...

finally, comes the issue of calories ... the minimum for him is probably somewhere around 2000 per day but depending on activity level, the sky's the limit ... why not try to increase healthy calories by 500 or 1000 a day ... i wouldn't completely view fats as an evil ... the "book" recommends about 30% of calories from fat ... each gram of fat produces 9 calories ... each gram of carb or protein produces only 4 calories ...

don't try to make big changes too quickly ... slow and steady is the way to go ... there are something like 3500 calories in a pound ... adding 1000 calories a day could yield around 2 pounds per week ...

[Heddi]

14. Well, I shoudln't say that we haven't been to a Dr

we went about a year ago and he had a litany of tests done to check thyroid function, liver, kidneys, etc. There wasn't anything wrong with him then, and I've no reason to think that there's anything wrong with him now.

I mean that right now, I couldn't afford for him to go to a Dietician and get a 'personalized' workup for his particular body weight/size/type.

He's been thin his whole life, and has just grown tired of being so underweight.

Thanks so much for your input. Poor Mark...I told him he needed to eat 6 meals a day and his eyes got as big as dinner plates and he said "Will my little belly hold all of THAT?" ha ha.

So in addition to the increase of food, he should do some exercise as well, right? Sheesh..that means *I* have no excuse not to exercise :sigh: OH well...maybe the lbs I lose will somehow magically transport themselves to him :)

Thanks for you advice, btw

[LiberallyInclined]

27. weight-training. with a high-protien diet.

muscle weighs more than fat.

btw- eating six meals a day wouldn't necessarily work- his metabolism would probably adjust, and he'd spend the time not spent eating...um...evacuating all that digested food.

[ThorsHammer]

30. Seconded

[Spider Jerusalem]

17. Wish I could tell you.

Exercise would help, probably. Muscle is dense, so has more mass.

I have the same problem myself, though...27 years old, 6', and my weight fluctuates between 135 and 145 or so.

[NewJeffCT]

18. My wife has the same problem as your husband

She's like 5'4" and 95 pounds on a good day. We both would like her to put on weight.

[sendero]

19. I used to have this problem..

... and it is hard for people to understand, being underweight sucks for a man.

I was 135-140 all my adult life (I'm 6'1"). After going through a divorce, I dropped to 133, it was scary.

I decided to try to do something about it. This is what worked, and continues to work, for me (I'm now a perfect-for-me 180).

First - you have to accept that with a fast metabolism, you have to eat more. To put on the weight you will have to eat "more than you want", i.e. enough that it is uncomfortable. I don't think eating fats is bad if a person is healthy, which seems to be the case.
You can use protein powders (they are not going to hurt anyone unless they already have a problem) and make shakes. You can just snack more. At meal times, you will have to eat big meals. It is best to actually track calories, but it is not mandatory.

Second - weight training. Once you are taking in all those calories if you don't work out you'll put on fat instead of muscle. No matter what, your body fat % will go up some. Most likely, it is too low now (mine was around 5%, not healthy). But the trick is to get all the gains you can in muscle not fat.

After you put on some weight, you will not have to eat like crazy to keep it (well, get to the weight you want, maintain it for a few months, THEN you can back off the eating a bit and probably not lose all the weight).

I waited until my 40s to deal with this, to my eternal regret. It took some work, but believe it or not, men have body issues just like women do :)

[Worst Username Ever]

20. I have the same problem.

The thin european look is VERY in right now, so I am not worried. But as a high-metabolism person and marathon runner, I am VERY thin. It bothered me in high school but now seeing that everyone in highschool seems to be exceptionally obese, I feel pretty good about the ole' body image. Protein, protein, protein. He does NOT want to gain fat, just muscle. High protein diet, keep the carbs up since he needs them, and do upper body workouts. He won't ever be muscular, but he will add some muscle and with his low body fat, be very, very toned. You'll be married to a male model in no time.

[Texasgal]

21. I would suggest

having him drink "boost" or some other high protein drink. This is what they give the elderly or the stricken to gain weight.

[fit4life]

22. I had the same problem.

I ate tons of high-protein red meat (very lean) and worked out like a fiend. I've gone from 145 lbs to 200 and none of it is fat.

[4_Legs_Good]

23. I'm 6'2" and I weighed 155 lbs for most of my life (I'm 34 now)

About 2 years ago I realized that if I ever wanted to look anything but skinny, I had to start immediately (I figure self improvement ends at 35 :) )

Anyway, it's taken me 2 years, but I'm now up to about 173. Not leaps and bounds, but it's progress. I bought a bowflex and started using it regularly, now I go to the gym daily and lift as much as I can. Pathetic compared to everyone else there (practically), but progress, slow, slow, slow progress...

I'm also a vegetarian and have been for 10 years (though I was still skinny as hell before I started that). I drink a lot of protein shakes (mostly Isopure by Nature's Best) and some other stuff. I don't over do it. I don't eat a tremendous amount of junk, but I don't stay away from it conciously either unless I notice that I'm putting on fat in the gutteral area.

Anyway, for hard gainers without professional help (and probably with) it's very difficult. What he should know is that it's a very long process. When I started I figured I should be able to gain a few pounds a month (of muscle), in the end it's more like 1 pound a month if I'm being very good, and especially since I'm tall, it's hard to tell visually, though DAMN if I don't feel better than I ever have in my life.

I'm sure there are much better ways to go around this but muddling through and with advice from a friend who is a serious amateur weight trainer (sometimes), I've made some modest gains. 11 months until that 35th birthday....

yikes!

david

[Schema Thing]

34. You can shut up now about the 35 thing

;) :P


But really, what you've accomplished is amazing. If I got "thin", I'd probably be at about 150+, but I'd like to be lean and about 170.

[4_Legs_Good]

36. LOL about the 35 thing :)

I think it's more of an early midlife crisis thing than a real deadline. I figure though, I should try to be in the best shape I plan to be by then. Then I can spend the rest of my life trying to maintain it.

Oh joy!

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort, but it's also kinda fun in a perverse sort of way.

david

[DS1]

24. The fastest way to gain muscle mass is squats. Weighted.

It uses the entire body, and especially the glutes which will give him a nice Mel Gibson the 80's ass. Not that I make of point of looking at men's asses, but hey, a dude's gotta see where he stands :D

I'm not standing well :(

[Lisa]

25. get himself used to eating larger portions, plus snacking?

I was reading about Japanese sumo wrestlers and how they maintain their bulk, even though they have to work out. I was thinking that they ate lots of fatty foods, but apparently their diet isn't particularly unhealthy (a stew with lots of vegetables, noodles, tofu, etc.) but they eat a lot of it.

There are also foods out there with healthier types of fat -- salmon, nuts, and avocados, for example. My officemate is a diabetic who is constantly having to worry about keeping up her body weight but not overdo the cholesterol -- her doctor told her to eat avocados at least 3 times per week, and it seems to be helping.

[soothsayer]

26. tell him to try geritol, Won't hurt him, and could change his

metabolism. A friend said that's what his sister did (er, the dad made her take it every day for a while, and it worked, he sez).

[BamaGirl]

28. My husband has this problem

He got home in Aug from a long deployment and had actually managed to gain about 40 lbs while he was gone. He's lost most of it now, which is really not good. He did it with working out, protein shakes, and eating a lot more than I can afford to feed him lol. Weights are a necessity, I think. He can't keep weight on if he doesn't lift consistantly.

[4_Legs_Good]

35. This is true!

If I stop for just like two weeks (cuz I'm sick, can't give up my lunch breaks to the gym, am lazy as hell, etc.) I can actually feel my gains melting away.

For those of us who have a real hard time putting on weight you REALLY have to commit to the working out and the protein. Your body doesn't want to have to keep all that unused muscle tissue around, so it dumps it as soon as it can. The opposite is usually true with fat, it's a store of energy that your body likes to keep around.

david

[Heddi]

37. There's been times where my husband has skipped a meal or two

in a one or two day period (Like during summer vacations where we get up late, and eat a big lunch and then nothing for dinner, or whatever) and he'll actually lose 5lbs in a day.

He's been to the Dr at least...oh 5 times since we've been together (8 years). He also has very mild high blood pressure so he's always concerned about his HBP as well as his underweight-ness. he's had SO many lab workups done and all kinds of tests, but there's nothing wrong with him. Just a fast metabolism (which they think contributes to his high BP). The doctor is always telling him "YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!!" but my husband has just gotten concerned, you know, if something were to happen to him, or if he were to get sick, he doesn't have any 'extra' weight he could lose.

He's very paranoid about his health sometimes.

[4_Legs_Good]

39. I'm a hypocondriac sometimes...

but I rarely go to the doctor. When I do everything is okay.

My pulse is usually high, like 80 BPM, I think. I think I have slightly elevated blood pressure, but I'm not sure.

Wow on the quick weight loss, though. I don't eat all that regularly (e.g. I don't keep track of lost meals), but I rarely drop weight, unless I stop exercising.

Hmmmm...

david

[Heddi]

41. His metabolism is just high high high

He went through a phase a couple of years ago where he LITERALLY was eating pasta for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, in addition to bread, tortillas, cheese, milk...NEVER gained a pound.

His Dr's are amazed at his state of health, though. They say if he didn't have high BP, he'd be the model of perfect health, and his BP is managed w/his meds just fine.

Poor guy.

[JVS]

32. Beer+TV

[Schema Thing]

33. Weight training. But patiently

obviously he is not a quick muscle gainer. I was like that at one point, and thought "I just *can't* gain. Looking back, I think I just didn't have the patience to stick with it (also I would tend to overdo it, and really hurt my muscles...be sore for a week or more.

Healthy food, weight training, his body will ask him for more calories... he'll gain weight.

It's a good problem to have.

[amazona]

38. well he really should see a doctor but...

...my ex needed desperately to put on weight to be accepted into the Navy. Unfortunately I will tell you what his doctor told him. "Sure, I will prescribe you such-and-such medicine to help you gain weight, but it won't work." He had 6 weeks to take the medicine, eat all he could, and also he stayed in bed to keep from burning off the calories.

He still couldn't gain sufficient weight, and the Navy regretfully refused him despite his high test score on the written exam.

:-(

So you really need a doctor to see if there is anything that can be done. Some people, the only way to gain is to take steroids and, unfortunately, because of the health consequences, if you go that route, your husband would still be ineligible for certain sports, maybe the service, maybe some jobs depending on how he tested out.

Protein shakes are a joke and did exactly nada except waste my ex's money.

The only thing I've seen guaranteed to work is steroids and again I wouldn't go this route except under a doctor's care and it can't be easy these days to find a doctor willing to prescribe the steroids unless there is another factor -- such as you MUST take them to maintain weight during chemotherapy.

So I guess I'm at a loss as well. My ex never did gain.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Heddi]

40. Thanks....I wish we could afford a Dr

although hubby is seemingly quite interested in the "eat all you can" advice that's been given. His attitude of last night (can my belly even HOLD all of that) has morphed today into "Oh wow! Buffet EVERY DAY! wow-wee"

I must remind him about the risks of a high-fat diet...and he dutifully reminds me that he's "eating 4 pizzas a day for my health" ha ha.

Just kidding......poor little guy....His struggle with being underweight is tragically similar to mine being overweight. What a completely polar opposite diet we must both keep now.

Me: low fat, low carbs
Him: EAT EVERYTHINGGGGGGG

ha ha

Thanks for your advice!

[dubyaD40web]

42. Here's my solution:

I was 6'5'' and weighed 185lbs. I gained 60lbs. in only 3 months by doing this. Oh, and I'm not fat. Just BIG.

Breakfast: Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes, and sausage.

Lunch: 3 bologna and cheese sandwiches

Dinner: 1 Subway foot long meatball sub. (or steak and cheese)

[sendero]

43. One more thing I forgot to mention...

... diet. It is very important to get enough protein. The bare minimium would be 1.5 - 2 grams per lb of lean body mass per day.

Folks like your husband tend to be all "lean body mass", so he should eat 188 - 250 grams of protein every day. You literally need to "count" the grams, don't guess. If you start counting your calories and protein, you will usually find that you are consuming no where near what you though you were.

[4_Legs_Good]

46. That's SOOOO much protein...

Ack! It's really hard to do, even *with* protein powders.

The Isopure stuff I use (buy bulk for about $60, IIRC for 8.8 lb bucket, which lasts a bit more than a month (advantagesupplements.com)) gives 50g/shake and it's not too hard to gag down, but still that's at least 3 of these a day to get the 2g/lb ratio.

Bleh!

I try to mix various protein powders into other stuff I drink too, like smoothies, etc. There was a thread here a while ago where we discussed whey being much better than soy, which can have negative side effects in large doeses.

Again, I'm a vegetarian, so these powders are my primary (though far from only) source of protein.

The one I use is 300 calories/dose, but Isopure also makes a hefty 1,100 calorie/dose deal as well.

david

[sendero]

48. I know....

... that's why I said "you gotta count it". You have to eat a bunch of protein at every meal.

It took me a few months of working out and eating to learn this. Now, I should have added that this applies if you are trying to put on lean mass. If fat is just as good for you, then the protein is not so critical, then it is just overall calories that is important.

The best way for a naturally skinny person to gain lean weight is to work out hard and eat a lot of protein with sufficient calories.

It is the one true way I tell ya!!!!!

[4_Legs_Good]

52. You're absolutely right...

at least that's what I've found too.

david

[AngryAmish]

44. A slow, steady gorging process

Be creative! Instead of using bread for a sandwich, use Pop Tarts.

Dr. Nick Riviera

Or place you husband in a very small pen, force a feeding tube down his throat and pump things down it 24 hrs a day, a la foi gras.

[Heddi]

45. He likes the poptart Idea :)

I suggested he eat Bread Sandwiches with a side roll.

[4_Legs_Good]

47. One more thing - The metabolism will likely wear off

at some point, and he has to be concious of this. Mine wore off around when I turned 30. It's not bad, but I couldn't eat whatever whenever without gaining fat weight. It happened pretty much all of a sudden.

If your husband simply increases caloric intake and it works just make sure he remembers to slow back down if/when he notices that he's gaining more than he wants to.

david

[maveric]

49. Smoke weed and visit a mall food court every day.

[SeveneightyWhoa]

55. Ha!

Can't beat that for weight gain..

Or just smoke weed, and sit on the couch with a table full of (low-fat) munchies in front of you. Pretzels, low-fat chips, bagels, etc. You'll be a fat f$%@ within no time. :)

[SCDem]

50. Protein Powder and Weight lifting/gym workout

Your husband sounds like my step brother. He is 6ft and used to be like 135lbs. He takes protein powder shakes during the day along with his other meals and then he works out. Now he's like 170lbs.

[paula777]

53. Peanut butter enemas

[CJCRANE]

56. Reverse liposuction is more efftective!

Guess that would be called lipo-insertion.

[dubyaD40web]

58. LMFAO!!!!!!!

[CJCRANE]

54. Not sure how healthy this is

but a guy I used to work with drank a pint of guinness and ate a mars bar every day in addition to his normal diet, which apparently helped him bulk up to a normal weight for his size.

[Sword Wielding Brit]

57. Please don't go the pill-popping route

Please. :)

Weight-training is the key, I'd say. I'm currently looking to keep about the same size (except around my gut ha ha) and am doing the cardio to lose the flab, but also weights to tone up. I'm female, and we're especially prone to have flabby triceps, so am hitting the weights a lot for that.

Just eat the normal food pyramid stuff. No need for fad diets. :)

Best of luck to him!

[faithfulcitizen]

59. has he been checked for hyperthyroidism? nt