WHY do funerals cost so f***ing much?

[Skittles]

My brother was cremated and there was a simple service - WTF COSTS OVER $5000????

[flamingyouth]

1. I don't have the slightest idea

But we were in the same boat, even though the funeral home took pity on me and gave me a discount on their services. Altogether, because I had his ashes buried, it cost about $5700. :hug:

[murray hill farm]

6. Most state laws

require that the body be embalmed first before cremation..and then there is the cost for transporting body to funeral home, etc. If you have a casket..even for cremation..that is costly..and if you have the funeral home do a service...that is what costs so much. If your state will allow just cremation...and u collect the ashes and do your own ceremony..it costs much less.

[Bouncy Ball]

8. That's what absolutely does NOT make sense to me.

WHY would you embalm a body you are about to cremate? Why? Can anyone explain that to me?

One of the reasons I want to be cremated (just one, I have many) is that I DON'T want to be embalmed.

Now I hear I have to be??? WTF???

[murray hill farm]

17. Give a call to a funeral home and ask them...

what are the laws for your state?

[anitar1]

58. Oregon Does Not Require Embalming n/t

[murray hill farm]

46. Ok..i checked this out....

It is now not required by any state that emballming be done prior to cremation...a casket is not required usually, but some states require a cardboard box for cremation of remains. An urn is also not required..and ashes can be returned to family in a small box..or even plastic bag. Cremation does not require that u use a funeral home...and can be done by company that does the cremation..often for the funeral home anyway..and you can purchase the service prior to..these companies also will pick up the body.

[Warpy]

18. No, actually they DON'T, although funeral homes will tell you

different. Embalming is only necessary if there is to be a viewing at the funeral home. Dispense with the viewing, the funeral home can simply keep the body refrigerated until they do a run at the crematorium

Most funeral homes only use the crematorium once or twice a week.

[Igel]

56. IIRC, a family I knew wanted to not embalm the father when

he died. This was in Oregon in maybe 1986. It was ok, but they had to have him in the ground or cremated within 24 hours.

Most quickly organized funeral I ever attended. I was called at 4 pm one day, and in dark suit standing in the cold Oregon rain the following morning.

[China_cat]

88. No, that's wrong

and one of the things funeral homes try to sell the public. You don't even have to be embalmed to be buried. In fact there are religions that prohibit it.

You don't have to have a casket to be cremated. There's a cardboard cremation box that most places prefer you to use but it is NOT a law that you have to have it.

In some states you can even bury people on your own property if you own above a certain acreage and make sure the grave will not interfere with the water table.

What costs so much is funeral homes taking advantage of the family at a vulnerable time.

[Swede]

2. My dads' was simple too and it was $6500.

But costs quickly added up.

[Jade Fox]

3. Its a bit of a racket.....

I belong to a sort of funeral "co-op". When I die my relatives will be able
to plant me for around $700.00.

My condolences on your brother's death, by the way. :hug:

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I've heard of a special deal where you can get cremated for $85.

I told my husband I want that. But now I can't figure out where or how. I read about it years ago. Yeah, it's not that expensive to have cremation and a simple service. It sure isn't over $ 5K.

On edit, I would rather my survivors have a nice simple service in someone's home than a funeral home, so to spare that expense.

[anitar1]

Neptune Society--Cost Now 400 Dollars n/t

[jus_the_facts]

5. Because of the increase in people wanting cremation......

...instead of *traditional* funerals they've made cremation costs increase to keep makin' their millions....my parents got a quote recently and they've made the cost of driving the body from the funeral home to the crematorium as much as the standard fees of the traditional funeral. :(

[Bouncy Ball]

7. THAT'S ridiculous.

SHEESH, that pisses me off. I don't even want to have a viewing of my body, and I figured that would cut out some of the cost, too.

(My closest survivors can view me, but only if they wish to, and only in private, obviously before the cremation--not everyone is into viewing the body, and I understand that...)

[Skittles]

10. I tell you BB I would FREAK if I viewed a body

that is NOT how I want my last memory of someone to be

[Bouncy Ball]

15. Right and I know a lot of people feel that way.

I actually already have instructions all typed up and with my will, just in case, and they say that ONLY my closest surviving family members (husband and daughter, grandchildren if I have any) can view my body and ONLY in private and ONLY if THEY want to. Under no other conditions. I will not have a public viewing. If my husband and daughter don't want to view me, they certainly don't have to. I will be cremated and my ashes scattered, I don't want to sit on someone's mantlepiece forever. "There's mom over in the jar" no thanks.

[Skittles]

21. now THAT is the way to do it

I understand some people see viewing the body as closure; you've made it so everyone has an option. LOL I know this is morbid but I had to laugh when British mum said I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S IN A BLOODY JAR, it just sounded so freaking ridiculous. :o

[Patiod]

70. Skittles, it's clear you're not Irish Catholic

We're used to that sort of thing!

My grandfather was "laid out" on the kitchen table, and there was a 2-day wake at my mother's house (this is in the early 1930's). She was a child at the time, and found it terrifying.

Almost all the funerals I've been to have included wakes (for us) or viewings (non-Irish).

[China_cat]

89. My mother was scared to go to a funeral home

viewing because she was forced to attend one at the age of 10. The dearly departed was a hunchback and they had strapped his upper body down and kept the bottom half of the casket closed over his knees. The strap broke and the guy sat up.

The next time my mother entered a funeral home, she was guest of honor.

[murray hill farm]

13. You can also pay in advance for your own cremation...

which is a really nice thing to do for your family...and the cost is less way as well.

[Bouncy Ball]

16. I think I'll just do that.

[jus_the_facts]

20. It sure is....but that's what's happening...directly as a result of....

...people not wanting to pay the high price of a funeral...they've changed the prices of cremation to be the same anyway...and on the quote from our local monopoly funeral home...the cost of driving the body to and from the crematorium was where they gouge you...insane but true. :grr:

[MikeG]

9. Because many people pay for it out of estate or insurance money.

[Bouncy Ball]

11. I'm in the wrong line of work, I'm telling ya.

:-(

[Feathered Fish]

12. Price gouging

My grandmother had a simple funeral as well, cremated and placed in a simple urn. I believe the bill was close to $7,000. This is why I want to be dropped off in a forest. It sounds strange, but really the last thing grieving relatives need is some funeral home shaking them down.

[Skittles]

24. I think it is a form of shake-down

grieving relatives don't want to be viewed as "cheap" or questioning prices because it's "unseemly".

[Feathered Fish]

29. Exactly

It's a perfect opportunity to get as much money as possible. Now, THAT is unseemly.

Btw Skittles :hi:, where are my manners!

[Skittles]

31. howdy FF

what do they do with the people who don't have the money?

[Feathered Fish]

34. I don't know

Thankfully, I've only had to deal with 2 deaths in my life that my family has had to pay for. If anyone knows, I'd like to hear about it.

[Igel]

53. Bingo.

My dad always said just to bury him in a wooden box (he's still alive), but if we did that everybody would be insisting we must not have loved him, or we're cheap, or insensitive, or something.

I figure a lot of kids and spouses regret things, and it's the last attempt to make up for it.

For many people, if not most, grief is alleviated with ritual and sacrifice. (And, for many, greed is also alleviated by the grievers' ritual and sacrifice.)

Edited to add: My parents relieved their kids of the problem. It's all paid for in advance.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

80. Yes, when my father died, the funeral home pressured my mother

into getting an expensive casket and a concrete lining for the grave. My brothers and I tried to talk her out of it, but she was determined to "do right by Dad." Sigh!

My relatives follow the Midwestern tradition of viewing the body. I first experienced it at the age of 11, when my grandfather died, and although it was traumatic, I think it was good for me in the end, helping me understand that death is different from life and that the grandfather I knew really was no more.

However, I cringe when some of my relatives insist on photographing the body in the casket. :-(

[Warpy]

14. Monopoly

All those "small, local" funeral homes are owned by a conglomerate, and there are only a few conglomerates.

You have to watch those bastards every step of the way. If there's to be a cremation, why have a fancy casket? Why pay for embalming, unless you're having a massive viewing of the corpse over several days?

It's crazy, but they will add all this stuff in, plus overcharge for transporting the body from place of death to funeral home, from funeral home to crematorium.

My mother's cremation last year was only $700 because she and my dad had decided long ago that all the hoopla around funerals was insane and disgustingly morbid and went for a prepaid no frills program. Those are available in nearly every city, and if you have survivors in your family, tell them to look into it.

I was grateful. I think my father was, too.

[Bouncy Ball]

19. Thanks for that information, I'm going to look into that.

I don't find this topic morbid at all, it's just part of life. I don't want to be embalmed, I don't want to be viewed (except by my closest survivors, in private, and only if they want to, so no need for embalming), I don't want a big fancy service in a funeral home.

Simple, simple, simple. Ashes scattered. Plant a tree or something. Have a little gathering at someone's house. Eat, sing, tell stories about me, have at it. But don't spend $7000 freaking dollars on my DEATH. Ug.

[LibDemAlways]

22. It's a racket. The funeral industry is big business,

and face it, they prey on people at their most vulnerable.

The LA Times magazine had an article last week on the growing "green" funeral movement in Northern California where people are tending to the bodies of their loved ones at home and burying them in simple shrouds in "green" cemetaries. It was interesting.

[Bouncy Ball]

25. Like in the old days.

The family would actually wash and prepare the body for burial after the county coroner examined it.

Also, I don't like these coffins that don't disinegrate. What's that about? That means you are in a box forever, and you never become part of the earth! No way, no thanks.

Both my husband and I want cremation.

[IMayBeWrongBut]

63. What's that about?

Well, there is this problem. When there is a flood, caskets float up out of the ground and it costs a lot of money to put them back. That's why some places require concrete to be poured in around the casket. The wooden caskets break up and then you have to sort out if the body is a flood/murder victim, or an eroded burial.

It's pretty creepy and it's not talked about much. I've heard in some floods reburial has be the highest single flood cost to the government. Just another reason to be cremated.

[ashmanonar]

37. yea, that's basically where i was going with my thoughts.

i want a viking funeral, all the way. if i have the money, and everything, i want to be put out to sea in a boat of some sort (hopefully viking) and then set alight with a flaming arrow.

no need for a funeral home!

then i want everyone at the funeral to go get drunk, and have a big party to remember me by. no crying, no sadness. only joy at my passing from this life to the next.

[Blue_Tires]

61. lol...a viking funeral would ROCK

i agree with the others that the funeral industry is a racket...$6000 for cremation?? I know a lot of people (friends and otherwise) that would burn me to ashed for a lot less than that!

I swear if i ever find out a way to go out without giving the funeral industry a dime, i'm doing it (maybe i could blow myself up, so there's nothing left to bury?)

[ashmanonar]

62. i said on another post the other way i'd want to go is

riding the atombomb down.

[Sporadicus]

23. I'm Sorry About Your Brother

but we have to bear in mind that funeral homes are geared toward hawking goods & services; their first priority is profit - not the best interests of their customers.

[Skittles]

26. yeah well profit is one thing

extreme over-gouging is another

[Bouncy Ball]

27. I want to add my condolences, as well, Skittles.

I remember when you posted about it and I am so sorry for your loss.

[Skittles]

35. it's hard

I came across a picture of dad when he was 20 years old holding Glenn as a baby and they are both smiling; it's hard to look at knowing dad shot himself and Glenn drank himself to death.

[Igel]

54. Ouch.

That would be hard.

[Chicago Democrat]

28. Its like any other business. The land and buildings need to be paid for

and they do services that noone else will do. Thus it is a specialty and like a little monopoly in each town.

Cremation is much cheaper. But some religions require a burial under certain circumstances.

[Skittles]

30. um.......he lived in Mundelein, north of Chicago

he was cremated and the bill was over $5000

[yinkaafrica]

51. Predators feeding off those who are most vulnerable

I truly belive many of them belong in prison

[dubyaD40web]

32. Because they can... my friend's dad was an undertaker, he said...

...that people should always plan their funerals while they are alive and thinking rationally so as not to be taken advantage of when you are an emotional wreck and totally vulnerable.

This is not a blanket statement, but like in any profession, there are unscrupulous funeral directors that have no qualms about taking advantage of people's messed up emotional state when they've lost a loved one. "You can get the el-cheapo casket, or you can upgrade to the fancy shmancy silk lined ornately decorated one for 3 times the price. Of course you want grandma to be comfortable, right? Only the best for grandma. You want to make sure she goes out in style."

So they sell you a $8,000 box that will be on display for 2 days and then buried forever - inside an ornately decorated concrete vault, of course. In reality, your loved one's comfort has nothing to do with it. A plain wooden box would be just as comfortable for them. Not to be callous, but they're not going to know the difference. And when was the last time you were at a funeral and heard someone say "what a beautiful casket" (or "what a shame that the casket is so plain"). So the only difference is that it costs more.

Same thing goes for crematory urns and things like that.

Again, this is not an indictment on the funeral industry or on the people that work in that industry. But there are those who know they've got you at your most vulnerable, and they'll pick your pocket for all you're worth. If you go into the making of arrangements with this knowledge, it might save you a ton of money. And really, what would Grandma rather have you do with her estate - spend it on a box for her, or spend it on her grandkids?

This advice came from the father of my childhood friend, who was a funeral director for 40 years, and my uncle who was an undertaker for 30, so don't flame me too bad. Hopefully this will help someone in their time of sorrow.

[DU GrovelBot]

33. ## PLEASE DONATE TO DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND! ##

==================
GROVELBOT.EXE v3.0
==================



This week is our first quarter 2005 fund drive. Democratic
Underground is a completely independent website. We depend almost entirely
on donations from our members to cover our costs. Thank you so much for
your support.

[Skittles]

36. LOL - CHECK OUT GROVELBOT'S MESSAGE

F**ING SHAMELESS! :thumbsup: :D

[Fenris]

38. How ironic!

:D:D:D:D

[Skittles]

40. TOO F***ING FUNNY!

I showcased it in the Lounge! :D
I can't stop laughing!

[flamingyouth]

39. OMG

I'm just twisted enough to find that funny.

[Skittles]

42. I am laughing my ass off!

OMG too g.d. funny! :D

[jpgray]

49. Bwahahahaha

:thumbsup:

[sasquatch]

76. You're a sick bastard GrovelBot, BTW you should work for the mob

Or debt collectors at least.

[VOX]

82. GrovelBot sees all.

He may know all, too. :)

[dave123williams]

41. Once you're dead, it's really easy to shake you down.

[Skittles]

43. apparently GROVELBOT thinks so!

:D

[Padraig18]

44. Holy *****!

A very good friend of ours is a funeral director, and I know that he offers cremations starting at $900. I suspect you were grossly over-charged.

:wow:

[Skittles]

45. my brother is dealing with it

he was quoted somewhere around $3000 but the final bill was over $5000

[Cleita]

47. When my husband died last Christmas, it cost $2,300

for the cremation and to bring his ashes home in an urn.

Unfortunately, I had his daughter with me and she ran up the costs $800 from $1,500 for the cremation, for little demands that she made, which the funeral home was more than happy to provide, for a charge. Since they are the only ones in our one-stop-sign town, I was stuck.

I avoided the church/memorial stuff by having an Irish wake at home as a final memorial. This cost a couple of hundred dollars. We will eventually put his ashes and mine, when the time comes, in a small vault on the property. That avoids the cemetary charges.

They really can ratchet up those charges. Just the slumber room thing that my stepdaughter insisted on before he was cremated, so she and a couple of her friends could go say goodby to him for all of ten minutes, was $125.

Oh yeah, Social Security finally sent me $255 to cover the funeral expenses.

My sympathy to you and your family Skittles.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

48. So sorry about your loss.

My heartfelt condolences.

My FIL's was over 8 grand & he already had his plot. What a rip. A friends' mother recently passed & it was 3500. Neither had a service.

It was in the '70's I think. Jessica Mitford wrote a book called The High Cost of Dying. It was a real expose on the rip off practices of the funeral business. A lot of laws were changed to make sure survivors weren't gouged, but that was a long time ago & I don't know if our fearless leaders (sarcasm) have stayed on top of the industry, or if funeral homes have found loopholes to screw us again.

I remember Julia Child, years ago, talked about the Neptune Society. She & her husband had joined for something like $700. She was very enthusiastic about this company.

Here's a link. They don't put prices down; guess you need to call them, & their only in a few states. Mine being one of them, so I think I'll check it out. Everyone knows I plan to be cremated.

http://www.neptunesociety.com/index.html

best

[Skittles]

50. I see they are in Illinois

I sent this tip to my brother, thank you.

[Stop_the_War]

52. Because funeral people are god damn greedy....

:silly:

[Padraig18]

55. Like every group, a few bad apples make everyone look bad.

I worked in a funeral home in high school, and one of our good friends is a funeral director. Sadly, while the vast majority of these folks are honest, ethical and compassionate people, it's the few greedy a**holes who stand out and everyone seems to remember.

:shrug:

[Skittles]

57. but Pad

it doesn't seem like a few, it seems like across the board funerals are very, very expensive

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

59. I gotta agree, Skittles.

Pad worked for an honest, ethical director but I'm thinking that's the exception, not the rule.

Another friends' father passed away. He was cremated. For some unknown reason my friend wanted to look at his father before the cremation. The funeral director tried to charge him $150 just to wheel his father out on the gurney & let my friend look. He said he wouldn't pay it & I guess they had a screaming match right there until the director agreed to do it with no charge.

We weren't involved with my FIL's at all. You can bet I would have raised holy hell before I paid those charges. On the other hand, he already had his plot & the home knew they could charge what they wanted. It wasn't like my SIL could put her dad in the car & go somewhere else.

BTW, I called Neptune, (they're in the phone book). No one was available, but I'll definitely try again later.

Again, so sorry for your loss.

best

[Cuban_Liberal]

77. I basically agree with Paddy.

I've come into contact with a lot of funeral directors as a result of the deaths I've dealt with on the job, and on the whole, they've been very kind, ethical people. Part of the problem with costs is institutional; I remember our friend telling us about how steel went up $3/ton, and suddenly the caskets he got from his supplier went up by multiples of $100. There's not a ton of steel in a casket, so that sort of price increase makes no sense, but it happens.

I also think that part of it may be a small town vs. suburban vs. metropolitan area thing; in a small town (in general), you're less likely to meet an unethical person intent on sucking your last dollar out of you, because if that starts happening, it won't be long before everyone in town knows just what sort of businessman he/she is.

:)

[Solly Mack]

60. "Bury me in a plain pine box"

My frugal mom always said.

So we did.

Plain pine box was $5000.00 all by itself

We had to laugh.

Funeral director just stared.

[GoldenOldie]

65. How do you feel about donating your body to science?

Looking at dead ones always gave me the creeps, beginning with the death of my grandfather in 1954. Years passed and in 1981, I was at my mother's side when she said she loved me and drew her last breath. 18-years later, within 13-months, my older sister, my brother and my father died and I was fortunate enough to have been at their sides to say goodby. Where I once feared and loathed the dying I now consider myself blessed to have been at their side and gained a new sense of death and it has made me less fearful of my own eventual passing.

Each of the funeral services were carried out in different States and each service different from the other.

My older sister died at the age of 64 from breast cancer which had metastized. She had worked hard all her life and retired on her ranch in Texas after working many years as a Program Analyst for NASA. Once she knew her death was imminent, she took total control and set her plans down to the smallest detail. She had commented at our Mothers's funeral about the horrible waste of money on caskets, flowers, that she did not want this when she died and that this money could be better spent with agencies that could help others ie., battered women's shelters, medical care for children, etc.

She made plans to donate her body to the Texas Medical College which would be used by the college and the students. Upon completion of the need or use of her cadaver, she was to be cremated and the remains returned to her family........at no cost for her or her family. Upon her death at home, the Hospice notified the authorities, which then immediately took control and handled all requirements. When returned her ashes were spread throughout the ranch which is now owned by her daughter.

[Solly Mack]

66. Not sure. So far my arrangements still include the family cemetary

I'd be one of a few hundred (maternal) relatives buried there. In fact, all but 2 since the 1800's are buried in the same cemetary. Mighty hard tradition to break.

Even with relatives handling the burial...family owned funeral home....it still seems like a huge waste of money.

[Patiod]

74. sidebar about hospice

What you mentioned about them stepping in and making sure things were handled legally -- I try to encourage friends who are losing their parents to bring hospice on board. Most aren't willing to admit their parents are dying, so don't take advantage of all the wonderful things that they can provide. B

But even if they bring Hospice in at the very last minute, there's still the support and help they offer at the very end, such as you mentioned, Goldenoldie

[fishwax]

64. Penn and Teller did an episode of

Bullshit on this very topic, which I happen to have just watched. It was pretty interesting, though much of it was just confirmation of things I'd heard elsewhere (stories on the Houston funeral home fiasco, relatives in the business, The American Way of Death, etc.). The funeral industry is very often a scam, and they very often rely on guilt and grieving to loosen the pocketbooks of their clientele. It's pretty sad. I've heard this straight from the mouths of funeral directors themselves.

My condolences on your brother, Skittles. :hug:

[NV Whino]

67. Try a cremation society

Well, a bit late for this instance, but they are generally cheaper. I signed up both my mother and myself at the Neptune Society in California. About $1200 each.

I'm all paid for when I kick off even if it's 30 years from now. Really simple, whisk away the remains, cremate, scatter ashes, no service.

[yellowdogintexas]

68. Cremation Societies are definitely The Way To Go. My aunt and

uncle preplanned w/ a local one in their city, and it was in their will, which everybody had a copy of so we would all know what to do.

Cost: About $750, including a totally sealed bronze box.

My uncle died first, and although it was all set up, it had not been prepaid so we had to pay for it then. However, when I sold my aunt's house, the first thing I did was prepay the funeral w/same outfit. Their services include: picking up the body, the cremation, and the storage container. You can also arrange for their chapel for a memorial service. Since they wanted to be buried in Kentucky in the family plot, that wasn't necessary.

My uncle and his stepbrother died within 6 weeks of one another, and my mom and the other stepbrother had to arrange the services since both of them stipulated cremation and burial in Kentucky with their parents. They died in Dec and Jan. Mom and the other brother decided to just have a joint grave side service in May, whenthe weather was nicer. They let everyone know well ahead, put it in the paper the week before and had a great service, lots of old friends and relatives. I think they had to pay about $75 each for the actual interrment. One of my uncles was retired US Army so his headstone was paid for by the VA.

My aunt died last fall, and I called the place, told them what I wanted them to do and they did it. I had to pay an extra $20 for death certificates. I have my aunt's remains in a box and when I go back to kentucky again for an extended stay, my sister and I will arrange for an interment with her husband. Sweet, simple and to the point.

Noticed the other day there is a cremation society in our town, so I am going to check it out.

When we preplanned my mom's funeral, I wanted to do a cremation but my sisters were against it because they had never heard her say that was what she wanted. But we found out that in addition to the embalming, coffin, use of the facilities, etc. the cost also included the gravedigging, vault, finishing out after interment, several huge floral arrangements, transportation, notice in the paper, cards, guest books, light snacks and coffee etc in their private family room forthe family, etc. We went pretty lowball on the coffin and vault too. We were all very glad we did it ahead of time, when we were all clearheaded and together. It made the funeral a lot easier, no last minute decisions etc.

[Cuban_Liberal]

69. Let me be blunt--- you got screwed.

A good friend of ours is a funeral director, and he says that funeral services are like any other consumer business--- you should ALWAYS 'shop around' for the best deal. Unfortunately, death often comes unexpectedly, and people react in a 'fall back' mode; they just pick someone out of the phone book, or they use whoever the family has customarily used. That leaves you wide open to being taken advantage of, unfortunately.

Even though Paddy and I both fully expect to be around for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time, we've both pre-arranged our funerals; if y'all haven't done that, I'd suggest that you consider it. Not only is it a very kind thing to do for your families, it can be a very smart thing to do financially.

:)

[Missy Vixen]

71. Okay, here's the short version

The funeral industry knows that it's a need-driven expense, and that you will pay ANYTHING if it's put to you as a way to "honor" your loved one, etcetera. For instance, I told people after my mother's funeral that if the funeral home had told us that she would have been more comfortable in a Mercedes casket complete with hood ornament, we probably would have bought it.

Fortunately for me, I took notes on everything that was said between myself and the employees of the funeral home. It was interesting how certain charges got "inflated" till I pulled out the notes with what I was told opposed to what was charged on the bill. I also remembered that my mother would have been outraged if I blew a lot of money. The graveside service with interment was $5k, even with a prepaid burial plot.

I can't recommend strongly enough that those concerned about what their families might go through after their deaths either make the arrangements in advance (and pre-pay them,) or leave detailed notes of what you want. I don't mean to offend anyone on DU that may work in the funeral industry, but wow, I was amazed at what went on.

Julie

[Cuban_Liberal]

72. I couldn't agree more.

The kindest, most loving thing you can do for your family is to pre-arrange your funeral. Not only do you get what you want, but there's no lingering sense of 'did we do the right thing?' for your family.

:thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

75. Nicely said! The bastards really work on guilt, and so does society

When my mom died, my sister and I bit the bullet and said "Fuck it. Mom won't care if she's in a $4000 casket or a $1500 one. And if anyone looks at us funny or bitches at us, I (that's me, Rabrrrrrr) will tear their head off theologically and kindly tell them to go fuck themselves."

Mom's funeral was much cheaper than dad's, and dad's was 7 years earlier, because Mom was into the whole guilt thing and worried about "What will people say if he isn't in a fancy enough coffin? etc. etc. etc."

Too much bullshit surrounding the funeral industry. All anyone needs is a frickin' plywood box and a hole in the ground, and those goddamned liners (there's another bullshit waste of money and precious resources) that are required in some areas.

Multi-thousand dollar caskets. What the fuck for? Is the dead guy gonna be able to look at the goddamned deer carved into the outside front? Fuck no. Do they need *@(#&$ satin lining? Why? Because being dead is uncomfortable? THEY'RE DEAD!! THEY DON'T CARE WHAT THE BODY IS IN! IN FACT, THEY LEFT THE BODY!!!

I just wish that preachers and funeral home directors would be honest and say, "You know what? The best thing we can do is make it easiest for that body to decompose and return to the earth to give life to other things. It's an empty shell. Put it in the ground. In fact, screw the box. Wrap it in linen or something if you have to."

I wish, actually, that we would suggest cremation for everyone. Except for those faiths, like Jewish, for whom it is an abomination. The Catholics simply need to change their dogma, which doesn't make any sense.

[hatredisnotavalue]

84. My mother, who is destitute at best, wants to be buried at sea

She is in a nursing home, and her mother, long dead, already bought the plot and paid for the funeral. Do I honor my mother's wishes, (who is crazier than a Gannon supporter,) and go into debt to bury her at sea or do the financially prudent thing and bury her at the family plot?

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

86. As I wrote in an earlier post,

my FIL already had his plot & his burial was still about $8500. That was without a service-just buried.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

73. Same reason births are - they get you coming and going

[sasquatch]

78. Don't tell me you transpoted him in a Folgers coffee can

Don't be like Walter Sobchak please.

On the other hand you could use Walter to renegotiate with the funeral home

[radwriter0555]

79. because they only get you ONCE. Like baby carriages, cribs and

weddings -- sort of...

[Lady Freedom]

81. Dieing is the one thing you do once so the money grubbing ...

monsters want to get all they can out of it.

[AngryAmish]

83. Because they are worth it

[n2mark]

85. How about donating your body to science?

[alarimer]

87. There was a book written about this

It was sort of an expose of the industry as I recall though I can't for the life of me remember the title. But it is a racket.

[Patiod]

90. The American Way of Death

I think one of the Mitford sisters wrote it

[China_cat]

91. For those who want a pine box

Trappist made caskets. Pine or oak, starting at $695. Boxes or urns starting at $245.

http://trappistcaskets.com/showroom.html#shaped

[Sgent]

92. Jewish funeral

No embalming, pine box, no viewing, 24 hours from death to burial.

It is better IMHO to remember them as they were alive, then trying to recreate them in death.

[bleedingheart]

94. I know this sounds perverse but the square fancy casket can be

a great linens chest until your ready to use it....very nice workmanship and wooden caskets are generally considered to be more expensive....those prices weren't that bad...

[China_cat]

93. I just found out

Costco online sells caskets.

One stop shopping, indeed.