What happens when people who have only talked over the internet meet...

[Longgrain]

Since I'm getting ready to go to Boston tomorrow, I've recently realized I really don't know any of you...and none of you really know me...

It's not a big problem, but I could be very different from what some people might expect.

Some of talk like we've known each other for years, we call each other friends, show photographs of ourselves, develop crushes, have fights, grieve for each others loss, yet we still don't REALLY know what the other person is all about...

Is there some sort of on-line chemistry that maybe doesn't work out in the "real world"?

Well anyway going to have a good time, and I look forward to meeting some of you face to face, and hopefully shaking your hand and calling you by you're real first name...

I'll see you all then...:hi:

[arcane1]

1. the first time I met DUers at a protest..

was awesome, and everyone was great. I'm still good friends with several of them to this day, and look forward to meeting up tomorrow, too

DUers rule, don't worry about that! :D

[Longgrain]

3. Thanks, I'm not too worried about being acepted...

I'm just interested in what peoples reactions to finally seeing me are going to be...

[arcane1]

4. on the bright side...

you already know you have something in common with all of them, hence the gathering. :)

[crispini]

2. First,

You won't remember anybody's real name and you'll wind up calling them by their screen name. I do this to people whom I met first IN REAL LIFE.

Second, (and I know this from internet dating), a person's online personality may or may not have any relationship to their real personality. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't! (Edited to add, not really judging here, it's not like it's a bad thing or a good thing, it's just that people come across differently in the flesh, so to speak).

Have fun! :hi:

[Longgrain]

5. Yeah I think I already understand that...

It's just some people always post under the same personality, some seem to change from day to day, depending what mood there in...you can usually judge tone, but you don't hear the voices and you don't see the mannerisms, and those things do matter when meeting people face to face...

[ralps]

6. I hope you have a good time Longgrain.

I might meet up with some Milwaukee DU members tomorrow.
:hi: :loveya: :hug:

edit I misspelled Milwaukee

[Longgrain]

8. Cool have fun yourself ralps

Tho it looks like the Cambridge gathering is going to be a blast...

[Bunny]

7. Everyone will be more articulate, handsome/beautiful , and

welcoming than you could have possibly imagined!

[Longgrain]

10. I hope that's true, especially if you've seen some of the people

who I'm going to meet...:7

[Bunny]

16. Is it that Boston crowd?

They ARE a good-looking, wise, and friendly bunch! Have a nice time.

[Longgrain]

17. Thanks, I'm glad they let me join them...

:7

[NashVegas]

9. Listen to Your Gut

You never really know until you try it. That's the fun part.

I've met several people offline that I first knew online. One case was uncomfortable; our reasons for meeting were simply because we were part of the same newsgroup, and 'everybody else is doing it, so why don't we?' We got on fine 1:1 offline, but when her husband joined us, she hardly said a word and let him do all the talking.

The rest were all gaming buddies. Some I've gone out and stayed with for a weekend or more, some stayed at my place.

One turned out to be a psycho. Luckily this person didn't turn psycho until after our meeting. There were warning bells, early on, that I didn't listen to, that I should have listened to.

I've met someone who's become one of my best friends. Right from the start, in our first messaging (met in an online game), I knew this was someone I'd want to hang out with.

I've had another gaming buddy (from Denmark) stay on my couch for a week. It was interesting.

I'm about to go to London and stay for a week at another online friend's place.

Gaming, for me, was a great way to meet people I'd want to hook up with: you can learn a lot about a person by how they behave when there's no one around to enforce the rules.

Anyway the main thing is, keep your expectations low. Don't expect to become bosom buddies, soul mates, or anything like that, just because you have chemistry online, where no one has to display their faults.

Oh, yeah - the really fun part is when you're on opposite sides of the room, looking around for someone who looks like they're looking for someone, but aren't really sure what they're looking for. Your eyes meet; you both get that "you?" look on your faces. You laugh.

[Longgrain]

13. I always try to be myself in public,

at parties et. al. but I'm actually more quite and thoughtful than I am here at DU.

I'm sure some people will be different, and some people will be the same, some people kind of half and half...

I think it would be interesting if some I disagreed with a lot here showed up, and we ended up hitting it off really good...

[FuzzySlippers]

11. Expect fistfights to break out.

Especially with JJ. I hear she has a feisty, pugilistic personality.:D

[Longgrain]

14. Please JJ not going to be at this one...

and we all know she's this sweet, wispy voiced librarian type at parties hiding in a corner with a book, praying that no one talks to her.

[JimmyJazz]

18. your sarcasm is quite unbecoming.

IMHO.

[Longgrain]

25. But sarcasm is the spice of life...

:+

[JimmyJazz]

26. No. Variety is the spice of life. Sarcasm is just a bad

attempt at humor.

[Longgrain]

27. Alright, I'll drop it, but seriously

have you seen Kleeb tonight, there's something I have to ask him...

On edit I see him now...

[Misunderestimator]

28. Well shit... what the heck am I missing here...

that's a rather odd comment.

[miss_kitty]

33. Here, Misunderestimator:

*passes popcorn*

[Misunderestimator]

35. Thanks.... grabbing my robe and slippers

and curling up on the couch. :)

[progmom]

34. Been a lot of those around here lately.

:shrug:

[Kat45]

12. Youve posted your pic a lot so a lot of folks may recognize you.

I'll be there, and I'm guessing that I'll recognize you. But you won't recognize me because I've hardly ever posted my pic, and when I have, it's toward the end of a long thread and nobody sees it anyway. But if I spot you, I'll be sure to say hi. :hi:

[Longgrain]

15. Thank I'll remember that notmyprez...

Please introduce yourself, I can be quite the friendly guy...

[fluffernutter]

19. yes, i do think you can have online chemistry

and have zero IRL chemistry. or that people can be one way online and totally different IRL.

[Longgrain]

21. I think I understand, it's like talking to a stranger on the telephone.

You hear their voice and picture what they look and feel like in your mind, but when you meet them in person, sometimes the results are very different from what you imagined...

[asthmaticeog]

20. I've met DUers in real life

after only knowing them on DU -- four of them now, and I'm planning on meeting up with some more this summer. I had a lovely time every single time. Not that four people is any kind of unfuckwithable sample-pool, but if you've got things to talk about here, you've got things to talk about face-to-face, too, I think.

Also, drinking helps. Oud Beersel Gueze worked wonders for my first-time jitters. :evilgrin:

[Longgrain]

22. I'm sure there will be drinking involved...

and I can be quite friendly once I've had one or two...:evilgrin:

[Schema Thing]

23. Oh shit, it's tomorrow???

[Longgrain]

24. The first one, it's only a small local one...

There's a huge DU meet up in Boston planed for April, the 22nd I believe...Lot's of people flying in from all over the country for that one...

[Schema Thing]

60. Oh thanks, now I feel especially left out.

*weeps*

[YellowRubberDuckie]

29. I'm marrying someone this year that I met on the net.

But I met a ton of other people that I was friends with for a while. I've also met some turkeys. It just goes both ways. It's a crap shoot, like when you first meet someone in real life.
Duckie

[JohnKleeb]

30. I didnt know thats how you met him

I'll explain how to do it in a second here. Funny thing is I am meeting someone tommorow that I havent met yet but the other three Ive already met.

[Longgrain]

31. Congratulations on you wedding...

I hope I'm that lucky some day...

And I agree, it's all a matter of luck of the draw as far as relationships are concerned.

I hope my luck pans out...:)

[JohnKleeb]

32. You just meet up with them at the time set

say hey what up dude, and you do your thing. Everyone still calls me Kleeb regardless of how they know me.

[Longgrain]

36. Cool, I hope maybe I'll meet you in April

BTW, have you found a room in Boston yet?

[JohnKleeb]

37. nuh uh

[Longgrain]

39. Well if you're serious, my original offer still stands...

[JohnKleeb]

43. I got a whole month

[Longgrain]

48. Alright then, P.M. me sometime and I'll book us a room...

I'll even meet you at the station and show you around Beantown if you'd like...

[steve2470]

38. LG my bud, I could tell you some whopper stories about

reality being very different from the net persona. It always involved lying. Of course, no one on DU would lie to you :-)

[Longgrain]

41. I've been 95 percent honest in everything I've said at DU

Some truths have been stretched, and I've held a few things back (as well as blurted out a few thing I should have held back), but in all, I've been myself...

Now to go out and prove it to others...

[steve2470]

42. lol I wasn't talking about YOU LG

I was more concerned about (ahem) possible others.

[Longgrain]

44. Hummm please do tell...

What possible others?

[steve2470]

46. I do not know honest, I'll stop f***** around now nt

[InvisibleTouch]

40. I've always had good experiences, or at least expected ones.

I hear horror stories about people totally misrepresenting themselves on the net, and being very different in person, but it's never happened to me. Maybe that's just in the groups I've hung out with. People tend to be together too long to fake a false persona. When I've roleplayed with someone for half a decade, I know them pretty well - almost certainly better than I'd have known them if I'd met them only in the "real world" during all that time. Text communication just is more intimate and honest, IMO, without the distractions and barriers that happen face-to-face. Again, that's just the groups I've been part of, though. A larger, more anonymous group like DU, well, it's easier to disguise oneself. But I think you'll be fine.

A tip: wear something distinctive so people can pick you out. It's not always possible to recognize people from a photo (or so I find), but if you say "I'll be wearing the purple hat/sparkly brooch/leopard-colored handbag/etc" it gives others something specific to look for.

[Longgrain]

47. Most people around here have seen me before...so I think they know I'm

really who I am. I just tend to be a little less out going in real life than i am on the net...

Tho if anyone is looking for me in Cambridge I'll be wearing the purple hat/sparkly brooch/leopard-colored handbag/etc...:silly:

[InvisibleTouch]

54. Ahem ... that's *my* outfit...

...I just meant it as an example. ;)

Nah, seriously, feel free to borrow. Have fun! :)

[Longgrain]

55. Perhaps I should...that sparkly Brooch might look good

on that new denim jacket I just purchsed...

[jdots]

45. You are in for a treat.

A bunch of artists on the net finally met,but some of us already knew each other and didn't know we knew each other because of the net names.The ones we didn't know ,we thought we knew.
It will be fun.

[Longgrain]

49. I think I might be the only artist in the bunch...maybe...

But I know of a couple of other fine photographers who will be there...

[progmom]

50. aren't photographers artists too?

:shrug:

[Longgrain]

52. Indeed they are...but photography also requires some techno skill

I haven't been able to grasp yet..

[Redstone]

63. It's the other way around. We photographers envy painters

because if there's a distracting element in the scene, you can just leave the son of a bitch out by not painting it.

We have to grovel around in the mud for a better angle, or obsess in Photoshop to take the damn electric wires out. You PAINTERS get to just not put them in in the first place, damn you!

And let me tell you, people who can't draw/paint (me, for example) look at you guys like you were Voodoo priests--Dang, look at that, he (or she) can pick up a pencil or a brush, and go whap whap whap (or skritch skritch skritch) on the paper, and holy mackerel, there's a person! Or a tree! Or something else that you can actually recognize!

We're absolutely green with envy. But don't tell anyone; we have a reputation to protect.

Redstone

[Kat45]

51. I think you'll enjoy it. It's a really good group in Boston.

We always have a lot of fun. Some folks drink heavily, some don't, but it doesn't matter. There are always plenty of people to talk to and lots to talk about. There have even been DU meetups where I didn't get a chance to meet everyone there.

[Longgrain]

53. Great, I'm a quasi-heavy drinker myself...

But either way, I plan on having fun first!

[Redstone]

56. Hey, don't sweat it...

I don't know any of these people either, but I'm not going to be nervous.

Of course, I'm kind of oblivious, so even if they don't like me I probably won't notice it.

And furthermore, there's alcohol. Everybody likes everybody else after a coupla drinks. Except the mean drunks, and I don't picture any of these folks being mean drunks.

Redstone

[Longgrain]

57. Hope to see you there Redstone...

I'm going to have to buy you a drink and together we can raise our glasses to Mountain Park.

[Redstone]

58. I probably won't be there until some time after 2:00

because it's been so goddamn long since I've been in Cambridge (I spent several summers there as a teenager so I used to know the place well) that I'm going to want to wander around for a while, wondering where the hell all the places I remember actually were.

If those places really WERE there at all...it was in the 1960s that I spent those summers there, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Redstone

[ScreamingMeemie]

59. The earth gets thrown off balance and things are never the same again.

:scared:

[Longgrain]

62. And it is Written the beast shall rise from the waters...

and rear it's ugly head...

[jonnyblitz]

61. I have met so many people from online. DUers, non DUers

I was such a whore when I was on aol in the 90's but ANYWAYS some people are the same in person as online, many are more quiet in person (like KLEEB). I havent met many that were quiet online and bold in person. Meeting DUers has always been a good experience for me though. Can't say the same for the people from other "forums" though most of those encounters weren't too bad either.:P

[Longgrain]

64. Hey are you going to be there tommorow...

Just asking?

[jonnyblitz]

66. yup. nt

[JohnKleeb]

65. I love how you emphaised that

:cry: Oh and jonny, I'll probably be a little more talkative next month, I am less talkative in chaotic situations but talk really good in small talk, and Ive grown more talkative.

[jonnyblitz]

67. that isnt a bad thing. i have met others too but you come to mind

because of the degree of difference between offline and online with you. I didnt mean it as a bad thing.

[JohnKleeb]

69. Well yeah I know

Ive been more social when its just been me, zack, and some other people our age. Thats how I hope its gonna be tommorow.

[LiberallyInclined]

68. usually the cops show up and arrest the pedophile, because it's a sting...

why do you ask?